Your style is definitely excellent, and I love your plot design. Sweet, yet with much humor to match.

Despite the mistakes I spotted in here, I enjoyed this short one-shot. It was entertaining. Your style of writing wasn't bad in here. Although RokuNami is my number one favorite couple from the KH series, I rarely read fics on them now thanks to writers here that make them WAY OOC.

To answer your question from DA XD no I don't think of you as a teeny bopper writer lol

I loved this. Really funny. There're some mistakes though, a missing word or an extra word here and there. This is the first fic I've read that I liked where Roxas is the main character.

. .

How is it that you manage to write all pretty and fluffy all the time in a way that doesn't make me gag? *normally hates sweet fluff but has become addicted to yours*

Also, I have to be the thickest of thicky-thicks in the world - my brain only just clicked on the fact of Namine-Kairi. *is so slow it's amazing her brain works at all*

Me: Gee, what could possibly happened to Axel and Demyx?

Jason: Hm... I wonder if...

Samara: No Vanhell, you will not going to disturb IX;s water garden You do know what happened if you touched it.

Jason: Come on, it won't hurt a bit.

(He comes back 10 minutes later, soaking wet and walked weakly than usual)

Samara: Let me guess, IX isn't it?

Jason: (furious) HE TRIED TO DROWN ME! I want to take a look at the Koi fishes but then he showed up and blasted me away with his water attacks thingy! (walked away but still soaked and wet.)

Samara: (coldly) You are such an idiot Vanhell.

lol

I love these little back stories

aw that was cute...stupid brain

Sora:whats with you?first the thing between Axel and Demyx and now this.

Kelia:you want me to pull out the pic again

Sora:NO!

Kelia:thats what i thought

Very sweet. Veyr funny to...stupid gloves...:) Love to hear another one-shot from you. :)

~Snowlia

Hehehe This was so cute and it's with my fav pairing!A guy like Roxas would act just like that but when you do brain talk put it into italics so every knows right there instead of being coufused (sp?) That whole dove and ravens thing was perfect. You should have Roxas steal Marly's poam books to impress Namine. But you should explane the thing of why Demyx hates Axel thing to.

Hunt on!

lol!

Way to go Roxas you stud muffin. She’s all yours!

Shut up voice in my head that sounds like Axel.

aw...roxas and namine are so cute!

Whe! Roxas is a dork! xD

Yay Roxas! ::cheering like a fan girl in the background::

Update soon

~way2lonely

Nice fic... I like the fight berween Roxas and his brain... really funny :D

-Dragons Ashes.