Such a pretty pretty story. Hurts good. Lovely transitions between scenes.

So.. That means hikaru?

Aww! *wipes tear* So soooo cute! But sweet! But sexy! But asdfghjkl! I loved it so much!

More... Please?

i have to admit,that was fascinating :)

I know this is an old story and all, but... that was really, really beautiful. I don't cry from literature very often - I come close to crying but don't actually cry - but this... I am burning with tears right now. The emotion was between the lines rather than stated point-blank, which made it so powerful to read, and your writing style is deliciously raw. Please continue writing for the rest of your life.

I liked your story.

wow. I like how this story was written.

the flow of the scenes and flashbacks were just amaaaazing!

This was so amazing! I love it!

Wow! That was really good! Very deep! I didn't quite get a few parts but I liked it!

That was .. really sad, but I loved it... This nearly got the tears going :']

Aww! I loved the ending to this. For once a story that has lemon but isn't pwp. I applaud you, oh great writer-person. This story definitely made my day.

I don't fully understand why...but that ending brought tears to my eyes. Excellent story. Bitter sweet. Love it.

I can tell you like your books ("a book is a book is a book"). There is so much to say about this story that it would seem almost impossible to cover it in one review, but I'll give it a try.

I really enjoyed the layering of scenes, the way they were broken up by the "stared and stared and stared" endings and how the separation between the twins grew in time with the years. It built the wall and tore it back down again in the most profound way. And addressing these scenes through Kaoru speaking with Kyouya was just as effective, as the images were going somewhere close to their conclusions.

What I found confusing about your narrative to begin with was the transition from the usual third-person narrative to the second-person narrative and back again. I think there should have been some break or italicised sections rather than leaving them to run into each other.

Your writing was "established", let me put it that way. You aren't a fool and you've certainly been reading and have become so sensitive to literature and the art of writing as a whole that what you have produced yourself is nearly fit to publish professionally.

I like how you gave us mature portrayals of Kyouya and Kaoru, transferring their characters so well known in the series to a new level that the series does not explore. Their relationship was the kind that I'd imagine between the two had they decided to go down that route at some point in the series. Kyouya and Kaoru always had a solid respect for each other as colleagues and this is distinctly shown in your story. Their more intimate moments are sensuous and real and presented in such a way as to make it artistic.

There are too many turns of phrase to name which I liked in particular, but descriptions such as "his head was up in flames" for Hikaru being angry about Kaoru moving out towards the end of the story is just one of them. I especially respect the telephone scenes between Kaoru and Hikaru, and then Kaoru and Kyouya, where you imply the smiles across the lines. I can truly believe in your sensitivity to realism here. Only a human being can tell if someone is lying or smiling and all without saying a single word.

Well, that's all I have to say now. May you have a great future as a writer. You sound masculine in your narrative somehow. While that isn't relevant in any way, it certainly marks you out from the rest of the writers published here. Thanks for sharing the beauty of your talent.

This was one of the best stories I've read. Please write more Ouran, because this one was simply spectacular.