aaaaaaah. i absolutely loved that actually i love so many of Ur stories Ur a great writer one of my favourites on fanfiction !

I think Bella is selfish and really with the fit and threw we are suppose to be live that she loves Charlie right. She is a horrible selfish little girl who need thinks about how much she hurts him. I hope Charlie makes her back to Rene because the only reason she wants to stay is because of the Cullens not because she actually loves or cares about Charlie she is again a horrible selfish little girl.

wait, are the Cullens human or vampires?

Ur Story's Bae

i had a feeling the author was pretty young, and this really isn’t that bad for a young writer. definitely needed some help with spelling and grammar, and the writing style is a bit stilted and comes across as immature, but it shows promise. i’m hoping the author got better the more she wrote. certain things are big pet peeves of mine though... you cannot get “the flu” from being out in the snow. and if it was really the flu, there’s no way she would have been out and about at a dance. she would have been in bed wanting to die for about a week or more.
other than that, it hasn’t been terrible, though i have wanted to stop reading quite a few times because of the things i mentioned above. i do like to try and finish what i started though, so am trying to overlook the errors.

really? they just sit around and mope and assumed they’ll never see each other again when she doesn’t come back? have they not heard of telephones? computers? the us postal system? how dumb are these characters?

good start

You really captured Bella. She sucks. Always whiney :P. This isn't meant as a bad thing. I really like your writing and I love that she doesn't smell terribly to Edward. It makes everything a bit slow. Onwards to next chappie :D

Really enjoyed this story. Thank you leaving it up.

Casualties is next on my list! This was a really good version of Twilight. Most of the elements were there and none of the bad stuff!

Bella is fortunate to be able to ignore human blood. She did a great job fooling her parents too. Since they think she died, it will solve a couple of problems. She just has to hide from them for a while, until they can all move away.

Good for Alice and for Carlisle, telling Edward to change Bella or watch her die! I'll bet even Charlie would vote for that!

Those vampire senses come in handy but this can't be good! What is taking Bella from him?

Bella is getting worse instead of better and I'm guessing it may be fatal!

Too bad she an never seem to escape that damn skidding van!