I thought this story was great! Brilliant job! It had me on the edge! I see that there is a sequel. Is it done? I thought this story was well written and lots of twists and turns! The summary for the sequel looks amazingly awesome! Well done! WDZ forever! :)

now all he needs is a girl

I must say I thoroughly enjoyed reading your story. You captured the essence of the main characters and of Disney's Zorro brilliantly. I sympathized with Diego's dilemma when Ignacio appeared. He was caught between a rock and a hard place. You have an incredible ability to write the inner turmoil of everybody as well as the action scenes when they fence.
Totally awesome story. Leaves me wishing for many more!

This is a truly, truly amazing story! It is so well written and the original characters are all so very likable. I absolutely love that everyone in the pueblo gets to see Diego fight and then speculate on who would win if he were to ever cross swords with Zorro. Great story, I enjoyed it immensely.
God Bless,
SW

GREAT story... had me on the edge of my seat!
Do write more! I'm sure I won't be the only one reading it eagerly!

Awesome story!

Thank you for sharing it :)

This is very well written. I don't know how Deago is going to get out of this. I'm glad that you've written about Guy William's Zorro. I can picture the characters doing and saying exactly what you wrote. I've been telling someone a little about the story as I go and she wants to read this too. Normally she groans when I bring up Zorro so this is very different from her normal reaction. I've never thought abotu Deago being in a situation this tough so I don't know if Deago would think everything you've written but I haven't found anything unbelievable yet.

You really have my interest. Deago, being Zorro, can take care of himself so i'm interested to find out what happened.

I'm glad to see a story about Deago and bernardo and all the other characters I know. You definately have my interest with this one.

First, I have to say that this writer is pretty good-better than I could do, I am sure. The secret identity of Zorro becomes known to several people and I for one wondered how the author would resolve the problem. That kept me reading to the end.

I had a bit of a problem with so many people knowing Zorro's secrety identity. I think Benjamin Franklin had it right when he said: Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead. In all the Johnston McCulley stories of Zorro, only 3 people know his identity-Bernardo, his father and his confessor, Fray Felipe. They would all die before revealing it. No matter how good your friends are, over time you never know what might happen.

Another problem I had with this story is at the start, Diego gets a note and goes off without letting anyone know where and everyone is worried about him. Later, he is delivered up in a bundle of blankets beaten up so badly that he is bedridden for a while. We never found out who did it or why he was beaten up. I assume it may have been the villainous Ignacio's doing, but if he wanted to kill Diego, then why have him beat up first? To weaken him? Diego is fully recovered when they finally do fight.

When Diego crosses swords with Ignacio in public. Ignacio lunges towards him before he even has his sword out-that would be considered fowl by the code of honor of all those who are dons. Later, he pulls a knife and stabs Diego in the leg and that would be even more fowl. There should have been loud protests from all.

I didn't buy the idea that Diego was so troubled afterwards because Ignacio threw himself on Diego's sword to kill himself when he knew he had lost. Back in those days, it would have been considered totally justifiable for Diego to have run him through. In fact, in the TV series with Guy Williams, Zorro rarely killed anyone, but he did kill one or two. One captain, acting governor-Zorro ran through during a sword fight. Zorro had no problem with that at all.

This story was definitely good enough to compel me to read it through to the end. However, I thought Diego was way too indecisive throughout the story. It didn't match up to my idea of Diego/Zorro. Having said all that, I will read the next story by this same person.

Ha, I haven't been able to restrict my reading to bedtime and could not resist reading some more when I sipped on my coffee this morning. The writing style is definitely one of your strengths, the read is just fluid and a fun ride. So far, the only things I am starting to worry about is how idealized Diego is in your characterization. From the Disney show, Zorro/Don Diego was a pretty much perfect character without any flaws, being a kid show and focusing more on the adventures than on developing the characters themselves.

Reading a book about these fictional people though, I am always looking for more mature, deepened and haunted characters. Diego is too perfect for me so far in his thoughts, and everyone likes him, etc... and I am worried this story will simply turn him out into another fanfic Mary Sue characterization. You did mention this story was purely written as one of your fancies :)

This will not stop me from reading the rest of it. Can't wait for some action to happen!

Just finished reading chapter 1, and I am happy to see there is many more chapters to come, and even a second story in line. I love your writing style, light yet descriptive enough, in proper balance on the vocabulary side, and makes for a good, easy, fluid read. I guess your Comm. studies paid off in that area _

I will comment more on the story content once I read more than one chapter. Added to favorite reads before bedtime!

Great story. Your characterizations were extremely good, as was the general flow of the story. The only suggestions I have are to make sure that you use question marks when needed and use a human proof reader after spellcheck. As it stands there are several words used incorrectly that are fairly obviously computer corrections.

What a wonderful & amazing story! I just found this section and am loving every minute! Great job & I hope to read more of your works soon!

I’ve come to beg for your forgiveness. :-) Life got hectic (as it has a habit of doing) and I haven’t had a chance to catch up on fanfic until now. I’ve sat up all night finishing this wonderful story.

Ignacio was a brilliant adversary for Diego. It’s always fun when the villain is as cunning and intelligent as the hero. I enjoyed the way he toyed with Diego, from dueling with his friend Miguel to kidnapping Bernardo. I could feel the desperation growing on Diego’s part as each event unfolded.

As always, I loved Monastario. He’ll always be Zorro’s greatest foe in my eyes. It was good to see his hesitation in partnering with Ignacio. It added an additional depth to his character while exposing one of his greatest flaws – he simply can’t pass up the opportunity to catch the masked bandit. Beautifully played!

The final sequence between Diego and Ignacio was very exciting (and easy to visualize)! I was impressed at how well you captured the intensity and action of these two crossing blades. I’ve often considered writing a Zorro fic, but usually get scared off with the fencing sequences. It wouldn’t be a Zorro story without a thrilling sword fight. ;-)

Now for a few criticisms:

1) While I was uncomfortable with so many characters learning Diego’s secret, reading each one’s take on the discovery became a bit redundant. I was most interested in Alejandro’s reaction and it seemed the other characters often ‘invaded’ on his time. I also liked following Carlos’ thoughts and reactions, but the rest of the Dons were too much.

2) I found it very out of character for Diego to reveal the secret cave to the others. It’s dangerous enough they know he’s Zorro, but revealing the fox’s lair was going too far IMHO.

3) In the final chapter, Monastario confronts Diego in his room at the tavern. It was a good scene, but I would have preferred it without the audience. Monastario is still the commodante of the pueblo – it would have been much stronger to see him use his power to order the dons out of the room and question Diego one-on-one. That would have been a big highlight of the story for me!

Please don’t take my negative comments the wrong way. Overall, this was a very enjoyable read with a strong plot, terrific characterizations and lots of twists and turns. I’m looking forward to reading “A Twisted Justice” next.