good

I think this is...AMAZING!

wa

so sad! :(

S: That was deep! The pain of loss was well communicated, and the writing was very fluent. It all takes place in a second as well...

I loved it to bits, you're definitely good at poetry, much better than I could be. I saw 'Let it Rain' first, and I prefer this one, though they're both good.

Keep writing!

that was the saddest thing i have ever read in my life and i love it. kept reading girlfriend

Wow. and just...wow. I couldn't write a half decent poem to save my life! Great job on this!

That is amazing LFC

..."sniff..." Gee, Cookie... "sniff" That was beautiful! You're a true poet! And such big words... They really describe the mood- which is truly tear-jerking! Great job. I do mighty kung-fu kick for you!

Nice poem... I usually despise poems, but this one was too good. Depressing, like my soul feels, wait... I have no soul. XC

The sadness of my life...no wonder I love Shadow so much. The poem described how I felt when I lost my purpose in life, just like Shadow lost his...

We're too much alike. If you want, borrow my Burakku in your storied/poems.

Burakku:

A half-breed, a hanyou, who's trying to find his one true puerpose in the world. He's part human, part moon dragon. He has jet-black hair, huge, black wings, a black tail, and wears a shirtless kimono (black). He has short, silver claws on his hands and daggers on his feet (his lower body is all dragon). At night, his eyes are pure silver (it's also the time when he can fly), but during the day they're dark gray. He has pointed ears, which can lower or raise, depending on his mood. Despite that he has fangs, he doesn't have a speech impenative (or however you spell it). He doesn't have much of a sense of humor, the majority of it is made up by deadly sarcasm and snoddy jokes. He's not very friendly, only having one girlfriend in his life (and he's almost 300 years old) who ultimately betrayed him by trying to kill him. His worst enemy is Sartorius, a white vampire that's hunting him down for power purposes (just like Eggman, uh..."hunts" Shadow down for his powers). Burakku's name is pronounced burr-ak-oo, Japanese for "dark." (Hint: I created him from a nickname of an existing character by the name of Manjoume Jun, who was called Burakku-sanda ("dark thunder") in one of his schools. His English dub name is Chazz Princeton)

If you decide to use him, use him according to his character. Think of him as a fantasized Shadow, and you'll do fine.

P.S.:Take good care of him! (~heart)

nice poem.

Too bad I don't know what the heck it's about... But still, at least I'm unbiased. That's always a good thing, right? Man, I used to be so good at writing reviews and now I'm just crap.

Oh, well.

-jo

Hi Rachael,

Your talent shines. I like how you accentuate how the memory lives on, eventhough the maiden dies. I'm eager to read your next poem when you are ready to submit it.

Keep the ideas and feelings flowing.

D

Sorry I took so long to get back with you. I get so many request it's like O.O() then I'm so involved in school and band. But anyway you don't want to hear (or rather read) about me and my school complex. What a lovely poem! I can't really judge on poetry (hence I don't write it ever!) I like it though. Um...I believe this is called a free verse poem but one thimg I like to see in a poem (especially in free verse is rhythm with in the stanza(s). It's just a personal taste and by no means it is offical. All I can say is stay in one tense: past or present. If your going off the effect of him THINKING of a memory go with past tense. If you want the effect of him RELIVING the memory, I'd go with present. So past would be(just the first line):

Once in the moment, once in that time

And for present, keep it the same. But anyway nice poem but you know...I'm not that great of a writer but thanks! Glad that someone likes me! Oh...I get fortunes! Make them about love...or maybe love? Haha just kidding but good job! With 28 ideas for a story you think you would have more than one item posted.

Anyway, Good Job! Write a story! See ya around!

~ShadowandKnucklesgirlforever~

Great poem I should say and good for starters. Here's my opinion to yours.

Very good poem. It shows how Shadow truly thinks of Maria; it's very in-character of him.

Whoa! This is really great! I wish I could write better poetry... Especially if it could be something like this. I think it suits Shadow. The last line is definitely kewl and true. "With a promise sge let me go" also struck me. I really like it! Great job! *favs*