Sweet! Jake going to be Silvio, Lemon and chestnut's trainer and he's going on his own journey!

Sniff. That poor eevee is now an orphan

Jake his mom and mr. wilson did all they could do but I guess the eevee's mother was too badly hurt

Like it!

While common, i love eevees!

Especially Espeon. In fact an annoyed mew turned me into an espeon, and now i'm in a relationship with mine, but still.

Es Esp Esp Espe!

(I love this story!)

~General Stormclaw, Dragon Prince, out.

Looking forward to more.

Could you please review my story, 'Pokemon Watchers'?

Yay! Pancakes.

Darn. It's 1 pm here at the moment and now I've got a craving for some.

Metric or imperial? I'd say, keep to metric. Stick to what comes naturally to you, because I reckon it shows if you have to convert everything over. If people want to know the exact distance, then they can convert it themselves.

Oh, you're Australian? So am I!

My opinion is probably a little too late, but as a rival I would like to see somebody who specialises in steel-type Pokemon. Skarmory, Steelix, Magneton, etc. I don't see too many of those in fan-fics.

The bank account thing makes sense - when playing Emerald I'd have up to $80,0. Who in their right mind carries around $80,0 on them?

Brian blew kisses to the crowd? Who does he think he is?

A free random TM for new trainers? That's a pretty good idea. Nintendo should do that in their games.

You have some solid writing here, and it can be great when it's refined and polished up. I will agree with Facia on the 'description heavy' bit. Sometimes it's good to have a nice, long paragraph every once and a while to describe some things, but only once in a while. If the reader is caught up in details, they lose the meaning of the piece. You could try picking at your longer paragraphs and thinning them out a bit.

I will say that the beginning wasn't something I'd want to read on that first page.

Starting out with describing the scenery can, alot of times, break one of the most improtant parts of the story. The beginning needs to hook the reader in those first few sentences. Now, Picturesque scenery and a boy named Jake doesn't really make me want read any further.

Why?

It's boring. Nothing is propelling me to wonder what's going to happen or what's going on now. I see a boy looking at hills.

I have been, and sometimes still am, someone who does this. I try to stay away from description paragraphs to start, though. Because, believe me, when I see a huge paragraph waiting for me at the beginning of a fiction, I get really intimidated as a reader.

The story was good, don't get me wrong. You're obviously putting a lot of effort into your work, and I respect that. Now I think all you need to do is revise a bit and cut the fat from you piece to make it shine.

PS. - You mispelled PRACTICING a few times.

Now that I'm done with critiquing I can say that I congradulate you for a well built story and proper paragraphs! Rare among these types of fanfictions!

Good luck with all your work! Keep writing!

Um...this is really slow-paced. You're really description heavy, which is good and really rare among most stories, but you're kinda not going anywhere. After the first few chapters, and besides the eevee bit, you've avoided cliches pretty well, but it's like you avoided everything else, too. I guess you're going for realism but there's a point where that becomes tedium. That TV show at the beginning sounds pretty kiddy, but doesn't sound half as bad as I think you meant it to. I mean at least there's some risk and excitement there.

For the sake of time, I decided to review all of the chapters in one review. Honestly, I don't see any errors in your writing and grammar. I found it interesting that you've incorporated the Hoenn region into a Johto story, it's highly original in contrast to most stories on this website (my own, included).

Personally, I enjoyed the realism in this story that's shown through the battles and emotions of the people who you imagined. I honestly wish I could improve myself to your level of characterization, especially when it came down to the individuality of the Eevees. Not many authors take enough time to flesh out the Pokemon as well as the trainers.

And on another note, you answered a question that I always found myself asking... what happens if a diglett is released in-doors or on concrete. Your technicality for this breed of Pokemon was impressive and I enjoyed how you included diglett's nature in the explanation as to why trainers don't generally do that.

Overall, this is an impressive piece and I look forward to reading more from you.

(I had a really good review typed up, but the 30 second warning came up...I apologize in advanced for this not sounding as good as I originally planned)

First and foremost, this is the only chaptered fanfiction that brought tears to my eyes in the first installment. In just a few words, I had already formed a deep emotional attachment to Jake, since I can relate to him in so many ways. You made him fleshed out and realistic in ways that I wish I could master.

Also, his efforts on helping the injured eevee struck an emotional chord in me. Last summer, I worked in an animal shelter and had to deal with this a lot...so seeing (yes, I said "seeing" - I had a great mental image!) Jake knock himself out to help her won you kudos from me. Congrats. I find myself proud to say that I'm glad this didn't turn out as another average trainer story.

By the way, do you mind if I add this to my c2? I'm searching for good OT stories for my collection and I believe this would make an excellent addition to the archive.

~ Much love,

Bleached Roses

Wow. What can I say.

Very well written, I love the plot. It's interesting, and I am thinking about adding it to my favourites list! :D

-Promesse

Awesome, really awesome. Keep going with this. I like where you put this game time wise. I've really only played 1st and 2nd generation games, and 3rd gen pokemon seems fine, but fourth seem a little sketchty... besides the the two new Eevee evolutions that is. The starters aren't all that appealing. A chimp, a penguin, and a turtle that pales in comparison to Squirtle... I don't know about that. Anyways, I really like the three Eevees thing you got going on, real awesome thought there. Keep going!

Incredible. This is the only good Journeyfic I've ever read. It isn't over the top or unbelievable in any way. Jake and Sam are average Joe trainers, like how they probably would be if it all were real. No prohecies or devine intervention. Nice. My advice is take other's advice conservativly. This story is good because its yours. Don't let others ruin. When they give you a good idea, take from it the essential, and leave the unessential.

I would also be honored if you were to reveiw Kantopia. It's my first story and an experiment in writing. I'm not to certain about it. I'm worried it might be a little too much, too fast without enough action. Your an excellent author, so your comments would be a godsend. Just say the word, and I'd deleat my story and start over if necessary.