Also marks the end of my sanity

Oh my god! That was the biggest roller coaster I think I've EVER been on! This was so incredibly cute and sad and heart wrenching but heart warming and omgggg! This has got to be like... my favourite now! I literally didn't go to bed last night just so I could finish this! (Of course school got in the way so I had to wait for the last chapter ;-;). Thank you so much for putting so much time and effort into writing this! It was SO well thought out and just SOO good! I actually thought it was impossible to hate Larxene more than before I read this... oh boy was I wrong! This made me hate her SOOO much! I was so happy Riku killed her! Which is... not the best thing to be hally about but after what she did to Sora I did not care! Oh man this was soo good I can't express how happy I am after reading this! It put me through more emotions than I think I can count and omg there were times I couldn't stand waiting to see what hapoened next but it was SOO worth it! Oh amd the ending was SO cute! And I did not expect Riku's mom to show up! That was really cool! I actually got my friend to start reading this so we'ce been talking about it as we read! Haha there was a lot of yelling on my end. XD (more as an "OMG I CANT BELIEVE THIS HAPPENED" or something haha) gaaah this was sooo worth it! Thank you so much for writing this! It was soo great!

Are you ready for a really long essay-like review? Well I certainly owe you one, seeing as it's been a long time since I last left one. Gosh, what a wild ride it was! I really loved the messages behind love that you introduced here, with patience and second chance being two of my favourites. I'm also a sucker for angst-selfless-Riku so you had my attention from the get-go. This guy seriously deserved that hug(s) from Sora in DDD, like dang.

As for criticism, well, oh gosh. Remember when I wrote a review quite a few chapters back how I felt that the motivation behind what characters do was lacking any real continuity or sometimes even existence? I'd have to say that sadly, the problem not only persisted but became more prominent as the story went on and more consequential actions were taken by these characters. Riku not simply asking Sora why he filed a restraining order; Maleficent thinking that abandoning her son in his time of need instead of being there to teach him that no, you can't turn to murder to fix your problems and thus resulting in her son murdering again due to her bad parenting; Xemnas taking it as a sign of him "growing up" despite all that; Tidus's horrible words to Riku that still to the end remained unresolved; why Tidus though it was a flipping good idea to have Sora be the one to accuse Riku of cheating FOR him; Larxene's out-of-nowhere need to be with Riku even though she clearly didn't want him the second she cheated on him; Riku continuing to neglect Axel and then having that plot point dropped almost immediately after Tidus brought it up; everyone in this story worshipping romantic love as the only way to be happy; the list goes on.

There are just so many unreasonable decisions made by these characters without any good character arc to lead up to it. I know it's hard to come up with one, but going the extra mile is what pushes a story from great to a masterpiece. For instance, if you had Larxene threatening to hurt Sora if Riku didn't sign the restraining order and keep it a secret, then that would've played up on what we already learned about Riku from previous chapters in that he treasures Sora's happiness and health above their relationship, as well as explained why Riku wasn't asking Sora about it. Without these connections, a lot of what characters do will feel forced and like they were only there to add to the drama. The result of this is that the plot becomes what is controlling the characters rather than the characters being the ones controlling the plot. It breaks the immersion and suspension of disbelief that the readers feel towards the story because they know someone is controlling their actions from behind the scenes.

Now, don't get me wrong though! Like I said, that was only advice that I had to push this story from being great to a masterpiece. Even though my criticism towards your character arcs may seem harsh, that doesn't mean that the one you wrote isn't amazing in of itself. I mentioned that having Larxene threaten to hurt Sora if the restraining order didn't go through would've been an easy fix. But it is only so easy because of how well you built up the arc of Riku's growing selflessness when it comes to Sora before that. Although I wasn't a huge fan of the last couple of chapters when all the needless decisions became much more blown-out-of-proportion to build up the drama, I heavily enjoyed the chapters before then when Riku and Sora were just transitioning from enemies to friends to close friends. That portion of the story just felt that much more natural. Namine, Tidus, and Axel as such a supportive group for Riku touched my heart several times, which is part of the reason why Tidus suddenly turning on Riku and Sora so suddenly and for the heck of it made me feel a little bitter. But ehh, maybe I really am just a bitter and salty person XD

Anyways, despite anything negative I may say about this story, just keep in mind that I am the pickiest with my criticism the better that the story is. I still really enjoyed this, and I thank you so much for sharing your writing with all of us!

~ Queenie

Ahh, I hope I don't sound mean with this comment. I am really enjoying your story but I do have criticism. I find it curious how Axel and Riku feel the need to bully Sora for no reason. I also find it curious how Sora views everything that Riku does as a reason to hate him, rather than noticing things such as him buying Sora a drink or him telling Axel to back off. There are quite a few moments that don't make complete sense. The result is that the whole situation with them hating each other does feel slightly forced to me. It also makes the characters seem one-dimensional since they seemingly do things with no motivation behind it.

I know in real life, people don't always need a reason to get moments where they're emotional or think certain things, but some more cohesion between events to tie them together would be nice so then when those moments DO arise, they have a stronger backbone to support it. For instance, you may snap at a bank clerk who is trying to help you. It seems ridiculous but when it turns out that your car broke down earlier that day and that your previous experience with a bank clerk was awful, that's when a cohesive character arc that explains that behavior is created. A great example was when you had Sora snap at Tidus in this chapter because he has trust issues that were previously built with Kairi. That was excellent and the kind of thing I wish appeared more in the interaction between Sora and Riku. Still though, don't let this comment deter you. I still really like this story and can't wait to read more!

~ Queenie

The thing I find really interesting about the story so far is how you play with the characters' thoughts and interactions. When Riku or Sora are out there in society, the conversations and concerns brought up either between them or between others are much more materialistic and shallow. But when they're around those they care about or trust more intimately, like Riku with Axel and Sora with Kairi, the tone shifts dramatically to reveal their much more complicated thoughts. I really like this effect you have going on, and can't wait to see how you'll develop it. Great story so far!

~ Queenie

*wheezes* It's gettin' hard to breathe in here... I LOVE THIS.

Why are you making this more complicated than it needs to be? As a writer you have to be aware that your story has a plot, and the overall passage of the story can have smaller problems in the mix but you're trying to incorporate too many things. What's with this restraining order and murder story going on? It's completely off topic and just unrealistic. Sora is always coming to riku so why would riku believe the restraining order? Honestly I'm not going to sugar coat it, the writing isn't the best, and the organization is decent at most. The best thing about this story is that it is cute and kind of creative. I think you could have done more with it while sticking to the plot. Please don't take this criticism the wrong way, although I'm pretty sure you wont read it (since this was last updated in 2007), but just for future reference if you're going to write again, keep to the plot, have spell check on, and have someone review it a few times before posting it. Try to minimize your mistakes as much as possible.

This was a great story. Read it in one sitting and laughed so much at times. :) I know you said, "Never will be officially legal", but how glad I am that times have changed.

This is such a sweet story! I really like the way you conveyed both their fears over the relationship and uncertines over the signals too. Just love how its written - I hope you will continue to write more :)

OH MY GOD OHIO STATE!? SORA AND I ARE SCHOOLMATES!

this story is so cute ﾟ(ワ)ﾟ

I really enjoyed this fic up until Chapter 23. I loved the sexual themed scenes in this story, and I liked the whole idea of the RJ and Eli plot. But now for things I didn't like; it was pretty annoying that Sora and Riku would whine every other line in the story that the other hated them or that they were a lier, etc. I was able to look past it, though. The whole murder plot was pretty interesting at first, and though I found that Sora being Marluxia's murder was way too dramatic, I still pressed on. It wasn't until Riku decided that he'd kill Larxene so she'd leave Sora alone and keep quiet that turned this story off for me. In my opinion It was so un-needed and ridiculous. I pretty much lost interest in this fic after that. I loved the early on stages of the fic though. The whole Eli and RJ plot had me going and eager to find out what was going to happen next, and considering the title I kind of wished that the fic would if dragged out 'Caller Number Nine' and our RJ's relationship a little more before they both found out about each other.

Other than that, it's safe to say I enjoyed this fic for the most part. So good work! The only thing I would advice in a future fic would be to stick more with the main plot rather than jumping from one plot (Eli and RJ business) to the other. (Sora and Riku are now murderers). It was a little confusing for me to keep up with the plot afterwards.

Like I said, great story. :) thinking about giving your other SoRiku fics a read!

Best story ever! I really loved the whole plot of the story and how it rolled along with the emotion and character drama. It made me fell like I was watching the whole thing play b4 me!
It tore at my heart when I read about their pasts and cried when truths were revealed! I also laughed happily when they finally came together and at Sora's birthday surprise! Selphie was fucking hilarious!
Other than that...truly amazing story! 3

I fucking loved your story and cried like a thousand times becayse it was so beautiful
You are an awesome writer :DD

Rape is a very sensitive issue, and you should have a warning next time.