Please update soon!

I always read the unfinished ones. Oh well, good job anyway.

IM loving this

If only this story could continue...

DAMN.

Surprised there was no anal though.

C-c-c-cliffhanger!

I loved it please update more

More? :3

tho i have only read some of this, It seems a little mushy, but i cant help feeling some likeness to the way you portrayed Danny. My family split up, had and abusive step father, bulled at school, turned to drugs to make me feel something other then pain, tried to commit suicide. But Chapter two (as far as i have gotten right now) really hit home for me. Awesome read so far :D

Y no finish

update please!

once again, loved it and im glad you addressed the abuse issue. although, why the sudden change in Jack's behavior toward his son? you may want to address this as well in later chapters

i love the story, but fyi: you cant overdose on weed unless its laced with something (for instance a psychedelic or something of the likes) and you cant become physically addicted to weed but you can psychologically (you story didnt really specify this when you mentioned it in a previous chapter). also, no one can survive two full weeks of no sleep. there have been studies and research that shows that a human being can only survive 10 to 11 days of no sleep (this includes not loosing consciousness for even an instant) before they die and 5 days of sleeplessness before the individual becomes permanently insane. another interesting little fact: after a little more than two days of no sleep the individual is considered legally drunk based on the drastic decrease of motor skills, brain activity, and memory loss. after 72 hours of no sleep, the individual is pronounced temporarily insane until the individual either sleeps, or becomes permanently insane by the 5 day mark. insomniacs dont go through all of this because, although they can not sleep, or are not able to sleep a full night through, they still sleep to a small degree during the day unless they are trying to stay up. sorry ive written so much about the subject, but i feel its pretty interesting, but that may just be the insomniac in me :P (i can tell you this much from personal experience though, the 3 day temporarily insane and legally drunk things are totally true. not really fun though. you forget what your doing with in a moment of deciding what you were trying to do; not good if your trying to find your way back home XD) anyway, like i said before: i love the story and i am certainly going to continue to read it as new chapters come out. its it very unique (from what ive see so far) and has a good plot line but some of you facts need to be straightened out like i mentioned before. also, your time line seems a bit off. i understand that you specifically stated that everything happened with in 3 weeks to make Danny as he is in your story, but that seems to be a rather unrealistic timeline; i mean 3 months is pushing it. also, its a tad confusing when you mention that Jack Fenton abuses Danny because you havent completely addressed it. when does it start? why? how come he's still with his father when his mother is just a bit away and how come Danny is in his fathers custody when what drove Maddie to divorce Jack was the endangerment of Danny's life by Jack? it doesnt all quite add up, it almost seems more like your just changing things here and there to better fit your plot, which is by all means fine so long as you make it seem believable (which goes again with the time line thing). once again, im sorry ive written so much, but i hope you find my advice helpful in the future. i also hope that you know that i by no means meant to flame or anything like that. i have thoroughly enjoyed the story. i just though it might be beneficial to you as a writer to offer some constructive criticism :) cant wait for more to read!

I don't want to sound mean but smoking weed is no where near as bad as you are making it seem in this story. It is also NON addictive. Look it up. All and all it's a great story though. I just don't like the overboard of that. Keep up the great work though. (you should call it a bowl, not a pipe, it would sound better cause I never hear pipe anymore.)

Well I like the first chapter well enough. But there were some things that got to me:

1. In the chapter, you hinted at a custody battle(in court?), but only over Jasmine. There certainly must have been a custody fight over Danny, after all he was the chief reason why all this happened. Actually I'm surprised that his father received custody after what happened (Of course, this is just an assumption since it is not really confirmed). Also, wouldn't Maddie want to KEEP her son because she doesn't trust his father? It's quite contradicting.

2. The whole leather jacket and tight clothes seems a bit unbelievable. Plus, they seem to be in financial difficulty, so how did he afford all those new clothes?

3. I really didn't like this sentence: "He was sort of impressed but more over he was disappointed." If Dash truly cares about Danny wasting his life away, he shouldn't be impressed by something like that. Yes, it's good he was disappointed, but he went and gave Danny a light anyway? That's not good. But I understand how it is when you're writing a story, you find yourself thinking about what the readers would want to happen and you stop writing for yourself.

4. Things seem to be moving a bit fast. You could have used the first chapter to set the mood of your story and maybe go into more details of the character's background.

5. This may be a bit opinionated, but I don't think Danny has it all that bad. At least not bad enough to abuse himself. It wasn't his fault; he did what he had to do.

Overall, this story is good. And I'm sure that it captures readers' attention; it certainly captured mine. I beg you, please don't let this review discourage you. If anything you can laugh it off or scoff at it. You are a good writer but you have to take care that certain things don't contradict with each other.

-Smurf