its Papua...
WAITAFRIGGINMINUTE! If Roxas left his phone for Axel on PURPOSE, then WHYYYY was he looking for it when he was home?!

OHMYGOSH!
Sexy Back is my SAWNG!

can u plz do more i just love this so far if u cant then thats fine but i would LOVE it if u did :))

Fire! but Axel is no where in sight! XD this is a very good story so far. please do write more soon! lol clumsy axel makes me giggle uncontrolably XD

Fire! but Axel is no where in sight! XD this is a very good story so far. please do write more soon! lol clumsy axel makes me giggle uncontrolably XD

lmfao Axel's taste in music! And Riku's, oh wow. They won't ever get along lol

LOL Leon is Riku's older brother.

OF COURSE!

priceless.

Anyway, Mostly skimmed rather than read. Didn't see any more plots arrising, but at least Aerith was introduced. The only plot I can see is Leon and Cloud, and as much as I'd like that resolved, some things just don't happen. However I think that if this fic isn't going to be finished, it would still be an acceptale ending. We can all assume that Sora told Riku and that Leon and Cloud just never spoke again or something, happy endings are overrated.

However if you are going to finish this fic at any time (even in a few years lol) please let me know so I can put an alert on it. :]

thanks for entertaining me these past hours 3

o0o here we go, it's bulletin time! *pumped for this*

Okay interesting. Interesting is good, but that probably means that it's not bad, whatever is there. If it was bad, Axel would be tripping over himself to tear it down.

Aww... 'I like you'. How cute. But was Roxas the one who put it there? Somehow I think that's too good to be true. And if it was true, then WHEN was it put there? What if Roxas put it there and then Riku talked him into confronting Axel about the cell phone, and Roxas would insist that Axel didn't have it because he wasn't like that or something, but then Roxas was proved wrong and that was why he gave Axel that disappointed look?

Interesting idea. Anyway it is a strange confession and it doesn't say who it was from so it's not even reliable.

Good, Axel thinks it's a joke. High school is cruel, there's nothing to say that the drawing is anything more than a nasty joke.

"When you're not watching him, he's watching you" AW!

Oh no, not the 'go ask him' tactic. That is a TERRIBLE IDEA! DON'T DO THAT, it never works out ever. If you ask someone if they like you, there's a large chance they'll just lie and say no either way, then ask you back because they're curious. And once THEY say no, then you usually say no too cuz you don't want to have an awkward moment, BUT YOU GET ONE ANYWAY cuz then the whole incident was pointless...At any rate, asking someone is never good, if they like you they'll show it, you should never have to ask.

Uh oh. Cloud you did NOT just push him in Roxas' direction! *dies inside* AXEL, RETREAT!

They're not having this conversation right in front of the others, are they? red alarm. When there's other people to witness, the chances of saying no are WAY higher.

Nitpick: "The both began at the" {the they}

WHAT they like each other. Totally didn't see that coming (as you obviously know by now). Much less dramatic this way of course.

LOL HE LEFT THE CELL FOR HIM! That's hilarious. But if that was the case then he was being rather mean when he cornered Axel and then started hurting him. That was uncalled for I'm pretty sure.

Oh, an insult of intelligence. Axel brushes it off, nice technique, Red lol. And he assumes that Roxas is his? Interesting.

So this story wasn't about Axel overcoming all the obstacles that Roxas' popularity and friends provided, it was about Roxas overcoming them instead. That's...a little disappointing. Sweet, but disappointing. I would have liked to watch Axel struggle and win Roxas over somehow lol

And now Roxas is acting all cute. That totally doesn't fit when he was acting so weird before, but I guess he didn't want to act like that, right? That was why the cruel smile didn't want to be on his face. IT MAKES SENSE NOW!

lol Roxas was the one who drew the picture. I was suspecting that because it is a fanfiction, but still it seemed a little too good to be true. However I'm glad that it was really him.

And SORa finds this too muchy, jesus christ lol that guy is like mashed potatoes. Too mushy for Sora? That's alarming!

And the relationship was a lie. (just like the cake. -shot-)

Axel's verbal skills reer their ugly head again. 'bee eff'. that's just bad lol.

Roxas should have replied with more msn speak just to make it cute lol. But that works too.

Awe happiness! I'm not sure what else is planned for this fic (if anything, it looks like a few years since it was posted), but I'm not sure I see any plot coming after this. I'm considering ending my reading here and going on to read the next fic in line, but that last chapter is begging me to read it...

So I guess I'll check it out. See what else is in store. Coudn't hurt.

Okay so I'm assuming Roxas' laugh was for sure a fake one. Poor Axel, he feels very victimized. By someone half his height, no less.

LOL crapping his pants. But figuratively. (laughed really loud at that part)

Looks like Roxas is a bit screwed up. Psychotic or something. Secretly sadistic perhaps?

LOL 'even his smile doesn't wanna be near him' PRICELESS

Axel is definitely seeing a new side to Roxas, but where did this side come from? And how important is that phone, but most of all, why is it important?

Nitpick: "let alone be apart of" {a part} gotta have the space

Nitpick: "invisible lent from his" {lent lint}

Lol and now Axel wants to lie his way out of it. Good luck with that, pyro.

LOL MATRIX STYLE. That was a perfect line right there. pure gold.

oh jesus, Axel pulled the 'Oh look!' move. But it worked I guess. Is Roxas afraid of spiders?

OKAY, scene where Riku appears was perfect. It was suspenseful and awesome. I'm starting to like Riku lol.

Though, try to keep the story in past tense OR present tense. You slip up every now and then and use present though it's mostly in past.

Sora WOULD be there too!

lol at Axel's fail plan-making. Why can't he go the other way?

Ope Roxas is there. Shouldn't pose much of a problem though, one would think.

Aw Axel was dismissed...Roxas expected better from him. Poor, poor Axel. I feel bad for him, he wasn't doing anything wrong! Kind of. Nothing bad though.

He feels ashamed...ARGH POOR GUY!

And cue Cloud, Axel's only real friend that he doesn't hate lol

"He told me...that he loved me. And then he freaked out." How does that make sense? I want to see a flashback sometime of what happened cuz that is weird lol I wanna SEE how this went DOWN!

Argh and then Yuffie and Demyx roll in. I really don't like them. And Aerith has been mentioned a few times already, but hasn't shown up yet.

OH NO. Not the school bulletin board! That's NOT a good thing. Axel, get there as fast as you can to take down whatever is there, it cannot be good!

enjoyed this chapter fully. :]

Aw Roxas won't smile! Poor woman lol no one is cooperating with her! She probably dreads school picture days. (and with good reason). Though I wonder how Roxas looks in the yearbooks all the time lol.

Riku had to model it out hahaha. I could see it, in this setting. Woudn't happen in real life but this is fiction so it works lol

LMFAO AT SORA OMG. Made him hold a teddy bear F jeez that's priceless. This is the first moment I've liked Sora (I usually hate him in all fics), and it was a good one. 'What the fuck?' You know it's bad when Sora swears lol

-

For a second I thought that Cloud was the one stringinf the cheese and biting it off of his finger. Might want to define that sentence so we know who's doing what.

Uh oh something is wrong. And I'll bet it has to do with Leon!

lol "super cool ninja move" I could see him doing one.

AWW he's crouching on a toilet...POOR GUY!

btw, burping is not attractive lol Axel is not getting points for that

Okay what happened? What is Cloud upset about? Axel knows but we don't know.

Why is it significant if Aerith knows?

Nitpick: ""Cloud didn't say" at the beginning of the sentence there is a quotation mark ["] that doesn't need to be there.

Oh boy Axel is on the search.

LOL KICKED. EPIC, AXEL, EPIC!

-

Four days suspension...well it was worth it, right? Does Axel have a bruise on his face from Leon's punch? I don't think Leon would have time to punch Axel if he'd just been kicked in the head lol. But alright.

Uh oh, broken cell phone. That is NOT good. What's gonna happen now?

Intruder? I woulda screamed RAPE if anything LOL

oh he called him baby. That's not good.

Or maybe it is, cuz Roxas seems to be enjoying that. Or maybe it's a fake laugh, or an evil one.

AND CHAPTER END.

WHAT?

lol.

I enjoyed that chapter very much indeed. Hope you had a good homecoming.

Nitpick: "there'd be hell to be" {hell to pay}

lmfao Axel keeps calling Riku. And Riku knows who it is too, so this is really not gonna go in Axel's favor if Riku tells Roxas.

Barbie clothes... I'm not liking that. I skimmed rather than read that section.

o-o-o

Lol Hayner and Axel as brothers...hardly even makes sense lol they don't look anything alike! But it's an interesting idea, I'll give you that much. Not sure I can picture it, though.

o-o-o

at "strange rash", I totally decided that Demyx has syphillis. From who, I don't know yet.

Axel walking...DISCRETELY? I don't THINK so! He's too tall for that lmfao everyone probably is noticing and he's just in denial

OH NO THE R WORD

RELATIONSHIPZ

but who texted Roxas that? I want to know!

Lol well at least this fic won't follow the blackmail-date cliche. I'm pleased to see that.

"Ah, friends." hahaha, poor Axel doesn't feel he has any? Though I'm not so sure Roxas has good ones, yet. If they're as stuck-up as has been suggested, perhaps he needs new ones.

sidekick is one word I think. And 'Mullet Man' should be capitalized. However, I'm curious as to what Axel's 'super' name is. Bean Pole? I hope not lol.

Going back to the ice cream was confusing for a minute lol I thought it was totally random until I remembered that they were at an ice cream place. You might want to mention Demyx walking in or something to bring the attention back to the location before switching to 'who wants ice cream?'. Just a suggestion.

inbox is one word. And Axel got totally owned lol...and his 'friends' aren't even sorry! poor guy! Roxas muct be popular though, with two messages in a few minutes!

"the amount of suckage Riku was" LOL.

why would Roxas name Sora 'squishysquishy'...

Nitpick: "acted all touch" {touchtough}

Axel finally left lol. I don't like his friends.

But nor do I like Roxas', so I guess that works out lol

-

LOL RIkU JUST KNOWS. MAgically knows lol. not sure how he figured that one out, but alright.

But Roxas knows now, so I guess that means another talk with Axel soon, hopefully in the next chapter!

Fake last names are fine lol. People do it all the time.

*written AS I read chapter, therefore might be hard to follow*

Totally thought that the 'blonde' 'blue eyed' guy was gonna be Roxas. But then WABAM, it's not lol love the surprise element!

Nitpick: "grand mater plan" should be {grand maSter plan}

"deviously deceitful" o0o LOVe the evil alliteration ] kukukukukuku...

Cloud gets upset at being called 'Blondie' but not 'Ice Princess' lmfao. Not sure how I feel about that

Nitpick: "You're on your own Axel." {You're on your own, Axel} should have the coma...

o-o-o

Chapped lips are not sexy lol

LMFAO how did he get a mouthful of grass to swallow? That's hilarious though hahaha, but the grass would probably stick in his throat and a coughing fit would ensue. *swears she doesn't eat grass...*

If Roxas is asking a question, a question mark might be a good idea to add instead of a comma

liked the description of Axel's tallness, that was one I haven't read before

I think that the sentence talking about Roxas' clothes and adorableness should not be attached to the cell phone argument. I don't think that mentioning Roxas' cell phone is necessary at all.

LOL Axel knows nothing about Roxas. hahahahahaha, oh dear. His ultimate crush and he doesn't know anything about him! Nice twist!

Axel's internal thoughts are very amusing.

Aww Axel hates Riku. Roxas seems to be pretty well protected by his friends, they set up an impenetrable wall for Axel. I'm looking forward to seeing what Axel has to do to get around them.

o-o-o

What does PDA mean?

LOL good lord poor Axel. Art class must really not be that much fun indeed!

Nitpick: "slamming head first into the" {head-first} gotta love the dash

WHY WAS HE BEING SO MEAN? He just blew his chance...no

But Roxas talking to him twice in one day has gotta be a miracle. He should really learn to react better.

After seeing his earlier plan, I'm not sure if I want to know what he's going to do with the cell phone...but I'm looking forward to knowing!

And I guess the cell phone was necessary to mention after all, therefore I propose that it is put into a different paragraph than the two sentences about Roxas' clothes and such. That paragraph just chopped off one idea and started on the next, had no flow.

Anyway that was the first time I've reveiwed while I was reading... Dunno if it was more helpful than a normal review or what, but I figured I should try it since someone said that they liked getting reviews like that. Please let me know if it was helpful?

OMG! Whut relationship? I'd say more if I knew what to say. Hahah.

Lol. I love your writing-style! It has something unique that I cannot quite place. Oh and of course, gotta lurve th CloudXLeon scene! Hahah.

Hehe. This is great! I can't wait for more!