| Reviews for Harry Potter and the Darkness Within |
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   Raven Evans-Black chapter 18 . 2/19 Needs a sequel |
| HoneyBear84 chapter 18 . 12/28/2019 Loved it |
| Guest chapter 4 . 10/17/2019 Go fucking kill your self you mother fucking retarded bastard and take this piece of shit with you |
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/4/2019 Wow, this is horribly written. You obviously have never heard of a run on sentence. |
| Jess chapter 2 . 12/24/2018 Why confine yourself to the conventional use of the word ‘your’? You’ve all ready demonstrated creativity in the use of punctuation and grammar, why not novel verbiage? You’re giving the phrase ‘creative writing’ a new meaning. |
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/24/2018 Your story is great because I love run-on sentences they’re the best who needs punctuation anyways did I mention that I think your story is the best? |
| Guest chapter 2 . 8/10/2018 Do you know what a ‘run on’ sentence is? No? I’ll give you a hint: I suggest you look up sentence structure you can improve your writing by learning where to place a period or comma no one likes run on sentences as they can be difficult to read your story is full of them. |
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/1/2018 Good first chapter. Nice set up for the situation and for the Draco truce. |
| kathyjo chapter 5 . 5/31/2018 Good work..would have loved to see hermoine at least still there and be a supportive influence |
| kathyjo chapter 1 . 5/31/2018 Good start! |
| Yakharelli chapter 1 . 1/6/2018 Me encanta! Se que solo voy en el primer capitulo pero lo que he leído es genial. Tiene muy buena trama y redacción. |
| Guest chapter 2 . 11/10/2017 Does the on your keyboard not work? Your senescence are smashed together into a big incoherent run-on mess. |
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/10/2017 Do you know what a ‘run on sentence‘ is? I strongly suggest you find out. If you want to write, you should learn proper sentence structure. |
| Owari no Seiryu chapter 1 . 8/29/2017 So the idea isn't bad. Like this story has serious potential, and obviously a good share of readers enjoy it. However, I would really recommend finding a beta for it. It would do wonders for your work. at the very least reread the entire story (I know) out loud (I KNOW) and see if you notice the mistakes in punctuation and grammar. Reading out loud will quiet easily point out incorrect word usage and run ons. Ex: wandermosey around maybe curiously or aimlessly but wonder feeling of awe, delight, and satisfying curiosity. My definitions are not entirely correct but it's repeated mistake I've seen and serves as a good example for a bit of what to look for. Honestly if the punctuation is improved as well as a good portion of word usage, only grammar hounds will get on you for there,their, and they're or your, you're |
| Guest chapter 2 . 8/24/2017 Wow. This is badly written. It's really hard to understand in places. |
