Ever heard of speechmarks babe? You know you can use them more than once...

Also you used the word buttocks so now I have to find you and kill you

Fiction MA, adult content with explicit sexual or violent situations, is not allowed on FFn. Neither is use of the second person or copyrighted song lyrics. Please take down "Moonlight Serenade" and repost on another site.

If you don't know where to post it, AdultFanFiction and Archive Of Our Own allow smut and second person. The songfic aspects are a little trickier. Removing the lyrics at the end is probably a good idea. The two lines in the middle might just be fine if disclaimed and moved to one of those sites.

not quite graphic sex, but pretty damn close. this was very sweet, I love the inner monologue

How cute. I wish those two really had gotten together.

I'm Terribly sorry to say this, but it lacked depth.

You said it was "Graphic" i don't think that was as graphic as i thought it would be!

Try more detail and try looking at a perspective of the men whom in which are actually having the sex!

Sorry about the harsh critisisim but hopefully i inspired you to keep going in your works, and hopefully i didn't crash your dreams in writing this magnificant story!

P.S: Sorry if there is some spelling mistakes in there, i'm very tired, and haven't slept well for a long time.

Once again congradulations on writing a brilliant story!

Krystal

so sweet! and a great mix of eroticism and love... hope you keep writing!

CUTE! Thats all I can say!

this was absolutely amazing- great job!

This was a surprise for me.

I find it hard to associate Jack with passion and romance. xD

THis is really good. Asome writing.

Great story!...love your writing style and use of characters true personality's

That was really fab, lovely writing. I hope you write more! Hx

This is really, really good. Just the perfect amount of romance, sex, and passion. I love it. I think it's great just as a one-shot, but I am intrigued to know what will happen when Grace finds out that it was Jack in Will's bedroom. Either way, great job!

?is it finished it's really good

aw, WOW. With fic like this, it's not going to take much to get me into the Will/Jack pairing!

This was great Sweetie, the writing was wonderful, and the premis was amazing!

I hope we hear more from you soon!