Thai story has the potential to be really good! You have an amazing storyline. You have chosen to write in first person; which is fine. Lots of story’s do that.
But... you kept switching between who was first person and who wasn’t. In one sentence Malfoy was first person... then Harry was... then Hermione was... It got really hard to keep up. My only criticism would be to either a) pick one person and have the story told through there eyes. And keep it that way through the entire novel. Or b) write in third person.

When you said “Romance novels that only Hufflepuffs read about hero’s who valiantly fight villains with their s/o on their side as support” (I am pretty sure I messed that up) I thought of Percabeth love this so far btw! Keep in mind I am living like 10 paragraphs in...

Love this so much it’s a shame it isn’t updated anymore though

From the reviews I've read it seems you dropped the story soooooo *puts hands in pokects and rocks back on heels* I'm gonna stop right here and hit the dusty old trail. Great book so far though, confusing but great.

The whole tongue swords is to give the readers a sense of who's gonna be the dominant/top/seme/pitcher in the relationship or at least that always happen in the fics I read. "Draco's tongue fought for dominance, and Harry allowed him to win before turning the tables and sliding his tongue across tbe roof of the blond boy's moist cavern. Draco resisted before succumbing to Harry's talented appendage...he grinded his body against the dark-haired boy's and melted in Harry's strong arms. . . . " or that's how it goes sometimes.

As it’s 2018 I’m gonna assume that this fanfic is abandoned but the first 14 chapters were an amazing roller coaster that I wish continued.

Oh, and what’s with the bad poetry?

I can’t make it past the first chapter. It’s just too damn whiny. The first-person narrative makes your story read like an eleven year old girl’s diary—a very whiny eleven year old.

"The story's not quite over yet" yeah especially when it's not updated since 2k7 lolsobs quietlyanyway, at this rate the whole hogwarts gon' be gay in no time lol

OHMMAHGERD THAT WAS PAINFU L i swear i was dying to read draco finally understand harry's feelings ugh- .And.. Harry is too cute lately! 0 /

holy crap a huge pine tee fell down right next my window and scared me half to death
P.S.
Best dark!Draco/ Harry story ever

Noooooooo! Is that it?!
-Scrappy2017

It's kind of confusing with the changing of pov. Maybe do a line break to show when it changes?

this is now my favorite chapter

Did you drop this fic? Or maybe my screen is wrong? You haven't updated in nine years according to my screen, since 2007 - are you not going to update anymore? I loved this fic, it was amazing.