Much better than the movie!

Once again, a VERY interesting bit of work, to say the least.

You continue to capture the complexities of the character’s relationships with each other very well, ranging from both the canon relationships- Picard’s strained relationship with his brother- and the original ones- his relationship with his children- while simultaneously managing to work in some new elements into the bargain; Picard’s thoughts on his relationship with his mother and the realisation about how she inspired his current path was particularly interesting to read about.

And as for the aftermath of Allie’s death...

DAMN, you went into depth on that one; Beverly’s reaction in particular was very well thought-out, while Andrew’s reaction clearly demonstrated the pain he felt at losing someone who’s essentially been a part of him for so long, to say nothing of the obvious details of Picard’s responses to that whole mess.

The only real problems I have with this story are in the scenes relating to the Nexus and the whole idea of Soran’s plot.

What you had wasn’t BAD, but I just felt that you’d taken out the best scene in the original “Generations” for no reason; specifically, that speech Kirk gave Picard about how he kept on returning to Starfleet because it was only there that he could make a difference, Kirk subsequently forsaking the perfection of the Nexus because it was only in the real world that he could have what he always truly wanted...

I always enjoyed that scene; it’s powerful, it’s brilliant, it perfectly captures everything that makes Kirk and Picard such exceptional captains and heroes...

And you cut it out for NO reason; it could have almost been more effective if Kirk knew that, somewhere out there, there was an “Enterprise” captain who’d managed to have a family.

And as for the whole idea of Soran setting up the fire at the vineyard...

The man was a genius when it came to stellar manipulation- and your explanation for the REASON for his ‘vendetta’ against Picard made a certain sense- but I generally saw him being able to ‘use’ Picard like that as simply being him using his race’s natural skill as ‘listeners’ rather than part of a long-term plan. Adding in this whole conspiracy of his really didn’t make much sense to me- especially the idea of making the Romulan presence part of his plan; THAT was CLEARLY a fluke that Soran wasn’t anticipating and the “Enterprise”’s presence at the incident had no effect on the stellar explosion-, and seemed to serve no purpose beyond you essentially ‘showing off’ about how complicated you can make your plots.

You’re great at exploring the EMOTIONS of your characters, but when you start adding in all this excess ‘technobabble’- a starship has an effect on HOW a star’s gravity disrupts local space; seems very ‘technobabble-ish’ to me- it just seems like you’re showing off about how good you are.

To say nothing of how COMPLETELY excessive Allie’s presence in the Nexus was; it made for a moving few scenes to look at how their lives would have been if Picard had known about the twins from the beginning, don’t get me wrong, and the part where the rest of his family ‘inherited’ Picard’s memories of that life was a nice touch, but when you completely fail to explain why ALLIE was aware of the false nature of the Nexus when she was just another ‘construct’ in the anomaly- or give any clear reason how the memories were ‘passed on’ like that- you show a real shortcoming in your plot.

Sometimes the trick is knowing when to STOP and leave the story as it is; you crammed FAR too much in at the end there without actually explaining how it happened.

This book was awesome! I cried so hard over Allie. This book was an emotional roller coaster lol. I do wish Wesley was more in it though. After all he is still a part of the family. But I loved it! I hope you write another sequel sometime. :)

Aw, cut poor Beverly a break here. Give her some sympathy; in canon, she's better than this and actually despite her sensitivity, she's courageous and faces her grief and other feelings head-on. She did this when she lost Jack and when the crew lost Tasha and later on, when she lost her Nana.

This chapter was very one-sided and leaned heavily toward Andrew and Jean Luc; I'd think Bev would be the one comforting Grace and Gabriel; Beverly was always wonderful with kids. I'll always remember all the times Beverly comforted Wesley.

Good writing, though.

Yuck, Bev sure slid out of character again here; I can't see her being so nasty, even when she's grieving nor so self-centered and lamenting about how "hard" things were for her either.

Other than Guinan, this seems to be male-centric with Andrew and Jean Luc being depicted symathetically and Beverly being depicted so unfavorably here; she almost comes across as a "Mommie Dearest" villian here screaming at everyone and acting all cold and unloving. I wish there was more sympathy for Beverly here and her pain; in reality, when Bev grieves, she cries a LOT, then shows concern for others; she doesn't express her grief by yelling at others and acting nasty.

It's also a bit stereotypical to cast redheads as being hot-tempered; actually redheaded Beverly is very level-headed and even-tempered.

I'd think Bev would break down and cry again at the sight of Allie's padd.

Like the part with Guinan; Guinan at least is in character here. Actually, Bev is a little bit better here also; good that you have her show concern for Data; that was in character for her since Bev always did have a heart of gold. It would have been neat if her tears had actually spilled over and Jean Luc had given her a little hug there.

But good writing; good chapter.

Good Andrew got back safely. I still think Bev would cry by now as she hugs Andrew; Bev never could reign in her emotions long.

Good description of Bev's forehead worry lines; she really does get these lines in her forehead when she worries; it's kind of touching and cute when she does in canon. Bev's always been a big worrier and her brows and forehead sure show it.

Good writing!

Wow, welcome to soapie in 24-century space...with Bev being totally out of character and off-canonly cold and emotionless and being nasty to Jean Luc while Jean Luc comes across as the hero here.

Wish you'd have Bev come across as more sympathetic here; she'd never be this nasty and obnoxious in canon, even in the face of great tragedy.

Wo-o-ogh, Bev is WAY out of character here. I kind of laughed trying to imagine her screaming at the ensign who is caring for her baby, then marching into their quarters and screaming at Jean Luc next; in canon, she is not that insensitive and callous.

I'd think she'd have sat and started to cry quietly at her console and maybe Deanna come out and see her and Bev blubber out the news about her daughter and Jean Luc's family, then really cry in Deanna's arms. Bev was always a cryer and would certainly cry if one of her children died!

Then when they were called to the childcare center, canon Bev would gently take her baby, still crying, the baby's crying making her own crying continue. Maybe the ensign would be puzzled, but would figure that Bev had a bad day in sickbay, knowing how emotional Bev can be. Maybe Deanna would softly tell the ensign, *family tragedy* and let her leave for the day. That would have been more realistic to me.

Maybe Deanna would guide Bev and Gabriel to a quiet place and let Bev and Gabriel just cry and cry for a while.

Then maybe later when Bev met up with Jean Luc, it'd be more realistic and interesting to have them cry in each others' arms, then maybe later fight some.

Spooky scene with Bev seeming totally alien to her true self.

Would have been more effective if you still had this part from the film *Generations* still in canon where it's BEVERLY who is pushed into the water and comes out a sopping wet mess and sputtering and coughing. That's typical, funny, awkward Beverly; she always had funny things like that happen to her in canon, despite her serious quietness.

Interesting cliffhanger of ending with Jean Luc getting the bad news about his vineyard family. Poor Jean Luc.

Aw, sad chappie ending, that fire and all of them except Andrew and Marie just dying like that. Poor Andrew and Marie.

I think Jean Luc is used to seeing the sensitive Beverly scared; that's not new for him or her. Bev always had self-confidence problems, so I think Jean Luc would take Bev's fear in stride and not be so startled or alarmed by it.

I would have had Bev have her baby in the vineyard or the house; that would have been more intriguing. And Bev, being a doctor herself, could make sure she and her baby were all right. I would have made her have a girl; there are already too many boys in too many other stories and here.

I wonder what Bev was like when she had Wes; I suspect she had Wes at home.

Good that Yvette's notes weren't burned after all. Robert's a complex one; one part of him is so jealous of Jean Luc, yet he also cares for Jean Luc also.

I laugh thinking about Beverly being preggers in her late 40's/early 50's; she must feel weird.

Good memories of Yvette Picard; I always liked her and how she stood up for her sons when Maurice tried to overcontrol them. Maurice was such an a$$ sometimes. I would have had Maurice die first; such a shame you had Yvette die so soon after Jean Luc left for the Academy.

Like how you have Yvette, Maurice, Robert, and even Jean Luc in character in this chapter.