Hi,

Very enjoyable and thought provoking piece.

It helped make a shitty evening a whole lot better.

Thank you for posting.

Tidy

hi

Wow... that made me tingle - which is a very good thing, I assure you! I honestly have a very hard time finding anything to fault with this.

You got a very good Young Kirk down, I think, but at the same time I don't know that it really matters. The story could easily exist completely outside of the Star Trek universe, because the message is true no matter what point on the timeline you're playing with. I'm not sure that that made sense, but I hope it did...

I loved the various callbacks to the show, though.

The one thing that I would have worked on is the line 'And things got worse.' It seems... awkward, somehow. Like it either needs to be expanded upon, to show things getting worse rather than just tell us that they do... or taken out completely, seeing as the teacher tells us the outcome only moments later.

I'm sure it's useless advice, a full decade after the original posting, but that's what I get for going backwards through the TOS-fic archives, I guess.

I liked the idea that someone took the time to make this eager, bright boy think about the long-term consequences of his actions. I guess he'll never forget this lesson. Great story!

That was an interesting form of advice, but very wise.

Being a long time Star Trek, and James Kirk, fan, I love this! You really do a good job on this; I like the way the instructor goes over his solution and then shows him his mistakes. (And i love the Dune references - awesome!)

The ending was a bit corny and clihce - which made it totally Star Trek...