Fantastic story.

I loved this story, and how Ororo was in such great character and I love you made Ororo spare Forges Forge he puts a bad taste in my mouth.
Taylor M. A.K.A Tay-Tay Mills

About the entire story-
I don't know much about Storm besides the movies and maybe a comic book or two, but I trust you. I doubt I will ever look at a Wolverine or Xmen movie again without imagining your story in my mind. Your writing is Storm. You are Storm. The fact that you took a creation of someone else and made it your own is remarkable.

Pros:
Action sequences.
You're excellent with describing the fight scenes.
Interaction with Storm. Any interaction with Storm is well-developed and well delivered
Character development of Storm-her feelings, her beliefs, her love, her emotions.
Gambit-he appeared at the right time in the story. Said the right things. well-developed. Just wish you could've did this with Logan in the beginning.

Cons:
Tense. Needs a little editing. A few grammatical errors, but nothing drastic
Transition of POV. I know it's not first-person, but the transition in various chapter seemed rushed or deleted. Just didn't seem to flow easily
Logan-I got the feeling that you didn't want the reader to know his true feelings or you just didn't really know what to do with him because you were busy setting up the situation with Forge. However, in the end you pulled through with Logan, but once again, it was due to the interaction with Storm that made his character better.

I think this chapter is by far your best in terms of writing style and focus. great job

Thanks C. A. Smith for your very constructive and insightful feedback. I have enjoyed reading your reviews as you read through the longest story I've ever written. I'm glad you are enjoying the story. I had to comment on your last review. Comments like that are really inspiring so keep them coming.

The last few chapters have shown your strength in writing increasing dramatically. Your character development of Ororo is uncanny. You really know this character inside and out. I feel like she was created especially for you to make your own.

Your action scenes are awe inspiring. I feel like you have developed Logan well up to this point. I'm not sure if you wanted to establish that connection with Forge first, but it was confusing. Did you want the reader to really like Forge only to betray us in the end? Many of my hang ups stem from my impatience with wanting more from Logan earlier in the story. Is that my fault ad a reader or something fot you to condider in the next story I don't know. Either way, it's a great story so far. Really keeps my attention.

"The pair, still holding hands, sat on the cement bench and enjoyed the peaceful, tranquility of the garden and their renewed friendship. Logan, sensing that everything was right between them, started back to mansion. Previously a scene like that would have sent him into a jealous rage but knowing 'Ro like he did, he didn't have to worry because he knew she was his. Wow, he thought, taking the stairs leading to the door two at a time, 'Ro have really calmed me down. Smiling, Logan decided that the kids could go another day without him and headed to the kitchen for a cup of joe. Now how am I going to do this, he thought, as he took a seat on the balcony, looking out over the grounds, his mind preoccupied with preparing for one of the most important assignments of his life – presenting a ring to the woman he planned to spend the rest of his life with."

I like when you describe Logan's feelings, even if it's just one sentence.

I didn't like the shifts in character situations in this chapter

"Set in a platinum setting, you have a one carat round cut blue diamond with a half carat diamond on either side," Gary said holding the ring between his thumb and forefinger, "The story behind the ring is one of the reasons I bought it. It was said that the ring was created as a tribute to a weather goddess by an Ethiopian tribal shaman who lived among a secret society of immortals," he said smiling into the faces of his captive audience, "It is also said that the symbols engraved in the ring are suppose to bring good luck to the wearer but if worn by the weather goddess, her power would increase exponentially and would never fail her."

awwhhhhh! so cute. loved the way you worked that in here

Excellent chapter. Loved the action, but I thought it was too much conversation towards the end. Seems to weaken the pace of the fighting sequence with Juggernaut

The best chapter for me. I guess I was impatient. I wanted more feelings from Logan earlier, but you provided it here.

Curious. Why use 'chere instead of chére?

I really liked the interaction between Storm and Prof. X and Gambit. You have a good grasp of describing the Storm with others.

Once again, loved the nightmare.

Did not like the shift in POV. I think it should've started with Logan and ended with him, not Forge planning a party for Ororo. That should be a different chapter.

I know Logan is not a sappy, romantic guy, but he is an emotional guy. It would've been great to follow through with confused feelings, nonchalant feelings, or any type of emotion from him to the end. I really want to know what's going on in his mind right now. You have established the thoughts of Ororo and Forge very well in this area, but I'm just not feeling it with Logan for some reason.

By the way, I'm liking the way Forge is forging a wedge between Ororo and Logan.

"Taking the hint, Forge made his way out onto the balcony. As Forge got closer to Ororo, he was amazed to see just how beautiful the Goddess truly was. The morning sun seemed to kiss her skin, making it shine under its assault. The wind's fingers seemed to comb her hair to frame her face perfectly. Awed by her unconscious beauty, Forge didn't realize he was staring until Ororo cleared her throat. Embarrassed that he was caught, Forge quickly took a drink of his still hot coffee, burning his tongue." Love, love this. I get a real sense of how he feels about her. Why can't I get this from Logan? Are you holding back for a reason? Okay, I will keep reading.

I like the tension you create with Gambit's POV. Gives the reader a sense of foreshadowing-trouble ahead

"Getting up off the ground a few minutes later, Logan looked toward the place where Ororo had stood before she disappeared into the house. Although he knew he was wrong for his behavior, his desire to kiss her overshadowed all rational thought as he looked down into her beautiful face and into the eyes that haunt him in his dreams. It's as if the Gods were tormenting him for the choice he made. Not being a spiritual man but knowing a sign when he saw it, Logan wondered what he would have to do to make right the wrong he had committed. The only logical choice, he thought as he gathered his stuff,is to make that woman his again." Really like this

I really liked this chapter because you described the action very well. You gave me more of what I was looking for from Logan, but I'm still somewhat confused about his true feelings. Did he give up on Jean? Is he confused about who he loves? I feel like I know these answers, but I don't.