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Dramione(Draco/Hermione): Tom Felton and Emma Watson / Draco and Hermione. If people can wrap their heads around this simple fact then no one in their right mind would ever consider them as a romantic couple. He tormented her throughout the series. He sold her out to bellatrix at the malfoy manor and she left him to be burned alive in the room of requirements. If it weren't for Harry, Malfoy would have been burned alive in the room of requirements.

Hermione is not a forgiving person.. and forgiveness is not a cookie. It's psychologically impossible to accept your abuser as your partner. His face would remind her the hurt he had inflicted upon her. And it would be EXTREMELY abusive for her. She would either hurt herself or him from sheer mental abuse.

Because a person can change. But sadly you can't erase the past. That will haunt you forever. Even if you move on the scars will be there. Always. Way too much stuff happened between Draco and Hermione that it's completely impossible to see theme even as friends let alone something more.

Forgiveness/ forgetting your past.

Or just EWWWW!

Whilst in detention Draco asked Filch what exactly was that large muggle looking device in corner of classroom. The one with an ominous Alpha & Omega symbol on it..
The caretaker told him that Arthur Weasley had confiscated it from a couple of strange types; one with badly burned skin & really long robes, & another who seemed to have been partially transfigured into a gorilla. He'd sent to Dumbledore that morning to see if the headmaster could figure it out.

After Filch left Draco could swear he could hear ticking coming from the object? Curiosity got the better of Malfoy & he went up & put his ear to it..

.. just as the 500 megaton cobalt salted fission-fusion-fission device exploded in his face..

Very fortunately Hogwarts magically wardings & planar shielding managed to shunt almost all the energies into another dimensional plane & seal the rest in trinitite like magical glass.

Argus Flitch returned two hours later to find where the classroom doorway had previously been, a now perfectly smooth blue-black rectangle of polished obsidian like glass .. that was slightly warm to the touch..

"Fucking purebloods!" he muttered "Always trying something to get out of punishments!"

Hermione & everyone at Hogwarts soon forgot all about Draco. Hermione developed a meaningful relationship with another person - possibly Oliver Wood or maybe it was Susan Bones. Either way this universe was spared yet another dreary dramione drama...

Draco's obviously not up to the job. My one's longer & thinker Miss Granger
(_)_)::::::::::::::::::::::::D~~~~~~~~

Bend over & receive with glee ...

Did actually laughing at last reviewer! Proof that Hermione would never willing touch Draco even to emasculate him if ever there was!

Draco came round in a room that reminded him of hospital wing of Hogwarts.
He couldn't really move much. Glancing down he saw below his lower abdomen he was heavily bandaged.
'Good morning Mister Malfoy!' a very familiar bushy haired brunette 'nurse' exclaimed opening a door. The term nurse Draco used only loosely in his head, as he doubted any actual muggle nurses would wear a uniform that short or revealing.
Or made of those muggle materials that had no wizarding counterparts .. ah yes he remembered now latex, spandex and that PCV plastic stuff that Blaise was always going on about.
The 'Nurse Danger' badge completed the bizarre spectacle. She was also ridiculously chirpy which wasn't normal for Dang .. , err, Granger.
'Those strong pain numbing potions will be wearing off soon' she stated.
'What potions!' Draco said breaking his silence.
'The ones you had after your castration of course' she smirked.
Malfoy junior was beyond horrifically aghast. Castration would mean a total end to the family line. All his surviving French cousins were females.
'Wwwhaart!' he managed to splutter out 'YOU HAVE REMOVED MY TESTICLES!?'
'Oh of course not' replied Granger. Draco breathed a sigh of relief. It had all been a hideous prank ..
'I didn't touch you. Hagrid did the actual operation - he's had plenty of practice on problem thestrals. And unfortunately he was a little heavy handed with the meat cleaver and rusty spoon" she continued with a bigger grin spreading "And it wasn't just your testicles - he accidentally removed your entire genitalia!' holding up a clear muggle bag containing some very familiar organs to Draco's face.
Totally speechless his hand shot to his wrapped groin - only to find it empty of contents.
'Perhaps you'll be less aggressive & nasty now?' she quipped & left, her shapely thong clad arse swaying as she did so.
Not that the former Slytherin school'boy' had anything left to appreciate that very sexy sight.
The end (of Draco's marriage prospects).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

well our group of trolls finally seem to have gotten through to this snowflake dramione writer: get this crappy pairing off ffnet;

took multiple postings from multiple accounts and some hijacked ones to get this idiot to leave for ao3 where no one cares

we've started on the easier targets but will eventually move on to all other stories with any positive takes on draco

you were warned often. take heed and stop now. we'll crack a mods account soon enough and then all of these will be deleted in an surprise erasion attack when least expected

"Are you?"
Now isn't THAT the most disconcerning question. Brilliant.

Oh, wow. Interesting setup.
The timeline is a bit rushy, by the time the seventh year starts the Malfoys have a dozen deatheaters living with them, on top of a dark wizard and his snake... But still it's an interesting setup.

As for the characters and the going-ons, I adore the moment Draco sets his dead mother in the armchair. And not yet thinking about how Harry and (even less) about how anybody else will react.

TN/ We are an extremely immature pathetic idiot group. I know. Out of boredom, I crack this girl's passy for fun (and it took less than 8 minutes to do it too) and will probably get us in a shitload of trouble. Which we probably deserve 'cause I'm being a troll right now. Meh.

And I present to you MY crappy part in this story. (And take note I haven't even finished reading this fic yet, but instead skip over to skim a random chapter) Flame, laugh, do whatever you want "preps."

I, the American retail wearing british vampire Stu, coughed up blood.

Satan kneeled down beside me.

"Noooooooooooooooo! Don't die!"

I gave him a rueful smile. "I'm sorry. It's something I had to do, to fufill my duty as the noble gothic Slytherin Stu."

Satan sobbed. "I love you Tom Felton."

"I love you two. I'll...I'll see you in hell." I mumbled, already finding my surroundings fading to black.

All the bloody feltup fangirls suddenly popped into the room for no apparent reason. They frowned when & realized the room was oddly quiet, but at the sight of Tom Felton's lifeless body, They screamed. Their faces became pale with horror. They screamed for the healers, Dumbledore, Mcgoogle, and every single badboy in leather pants capable of reviving person they could think of.

Suddenly, a glow started to surround the body of Mr Felt on. Everyone stared in shock. His body started to lift ever so slowly and then, to everyone's shock, it started to incinerate.

When everyone realized what was happening, they rushed over to try to rescue the body, but it was too late, the actor had became nothing more then a pile of ashes.

A loud resounding of everyone bellowing "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!" filled the room.

A flash of white light from the ashes then started to bounce around the room. Everyone cowered in fear and were temporarily blinded. When it was all over, things changed.

All the silly goth clothes dropped from everyone's bodies (TN/I will refuse to explain how the hell that happened.) and, in their place, clothes the characters would normally wear in canon appeared on their bodies.

When everyone got over the shock of becoming free of the gofick power, everybody cheered. Everyone started singing 'Ding dong this fanfic is dead...' Well, that is, until all the HP characters realized the true implications of becoming more canon like again.

All the characters who were supposed to be dead fell to the floor, their bodies cold and lifeless. Harry and Voldemort started dueling. On the left side of the two, the battle of the Light Side and the Dark Side were reaching a climax.

And, because the replacement author also likes to screw around with canon, Draco and Hermione fled the scene and got married.

Troll Note/ And that dear readers of this little review is only way Draco & Hermione should ever get together. Please await further copy and paste versions of this all over fics of this silly ship.
~~~~~~

( this metatroll collaboration by hogwarts **** *** ******* chat group on 05/11/2020)

I think it’s really ironic that the essentially entirely different character/alternative universe is still called Draco? How about Lacerta Mal-Foi? But then fan girls won't get that squeeee quick & tingle in their panties every time Draco is mentioned, would they?

Clearly we've have not read this story; otherwise we'd be falling under accusations of 'don't like - don't read' illogical trope.

We - & yes it is a group of us - do not Troll every dramione story; we poke fun at many, laugh at the vague ridiculousnesses authors have to plow through in attempts to redeem Draco & convoluted, contrived back flips they pursue in some vain efforts to drive those two together!

We only come up from under the bridge when truly over the top stupidity, misplaced rage is directed at us or when hypocritical authors & reviewers despise & condemn other ships - Rormione, Hermione/Neville, Draco/Astoria - in total preference to 'the one & only ship' of Dramione. And then they themselves troll/flame/spam in boxes/threaten over social media etc, etc any who post while logged in or have recognizable identities.
Thus we must remain anonymous in our disparaging of a certain blonde Slytherin & the horrific attempts to attach him to an driven, intelligent, hardworking role model for young women.

Sing a song of shipping,
That'll make you cry,
Smart & decent Muggleborn,
Forced into this lie!

When the plot was opened
Readers began to wail ,
Coz they tried to stick her with Draco,
A total utter fail!

JK was in the World Bank,
Counting out her cash,
Despairing at this pairing,
That is completely trash!

Dramione writers were typing on the net,
Writing out their silly fics,
Never ever really realising,
They look like total dicks!

Sing of wish for filament,
That just goes on & on,
Coz so many of these shippers,
Just want to shag Tom Felt-on!

When this ship was ruined,
They began to scream,
As sane intelligent reviewers,
Poured scorn upon their dreams!

Why so negative on this pairing you ask?
We - and I do mean we - are sick & tired ever 10th new update seems to be Hermione/Malfoy fic.
OK he's got that badboy vibe going, but it's beyond reason that he'd want to be with someone who he's been raised to believe is inferior & beneath his status. Love does not conquer all - despite wishful writing by a certain type of author.
JK herself is at a loss why such a bully would be so popular. She'd be extremely loathed to admit who she actually based Draco on, but let us just say that he's an incredibly nasty piece of work! Now in his fifties, very over weight, balding with thick lensed glasses, he terrifies his workmates to this day. And so obnoxious & arrogant that he doesn't seem to realizes that Malfoy was based on him!
Fangirls fall into trap of thinking canon!Draco is actually like the polite, funny & charming Tom Felt on. HE. IS. NOT.
Illustration graphics from 1999 featuring Draco show him to be thin faced, haughty looking & those kind of facial features common in inbred British aristocracy from early twentieth century.
Unaware causal readers need to bw informed of such information & not fall into fatal cliché of good looking actorgood looking decent character.

Many blameless persons have been victims of bullies of similar types as Malfoy - would you want a kind, hard working & intelligent character like Hermione falling for such a bully?
Thought not.

Nice to know that author spent so much time obsessing over draco, she failed her exams!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Nice to know it all started due to one actor hitting puberty:

In one of the first film reviews for Prisoner of Azkaban, a critic remarks that Draco must be good deep down since he's so handsome! Especially funny considering all of more recent fangirls insisting that Draco is redeemable due in no small part to him being played by the handsome and charming Tom Felton. Lampshaded by the official Warner Brothers Tumblr, which mentions "the first appearance of hot!Draco and the first appearance of a Draco fangirl."

Pity Hermione had to kill Malfoy in end. But he was such a fucking wanker no one will miss him.
Hermione & Neville getting married at the end was a surprise but not that unexpected. Ron wasn't an option & well Harry is just Harry.

And spunk is thicker than blood.
Your point being?