what a cute story.

I am forever impressed how you can get so story into a one shot. There wasn't a single conversation in this piece, yet it accurately depicted what could have been the interpretation of Mokuba and his thoughts on Shizuka had things turned out the way you envisioned. There's even room to wonder what exactly Kaiba has on his mind. It is no easy task geting into the minds of anime characters, let alone getting their characterizations right, so you definitely deserve kudos for that! I especially enjoyed the innocence of this piece. It leaves a lasting impression of Mokuba's first crush.

Please excuse Flame a moment, she needs to fangirl.

SQUE! SQUE!SQUE!

Okay, I'm done.

This was just SO cute! You got into Mokuba's little head well and I could hear a little boys voice. (My brother is ten, so this sounds like something he would do.) And yes, Shizuka's pretty, no?

-Flame

AWW SO KAWAII! x3

This pairing is as cute as Ryou/Serenity! x3

I epsecially loved this quote, "I sometimes wonder if he will one day get his cell phone and laptop surgically implanted in his body."

xD

You did an awesome job on writing Mokuba and what he thinks about Serenity :3

That was adorable verging on creepy. XD; Mokuba is such a dork. I would like to think most 11-year-olds are thinking about where girls could nibble or what one could do to them in the back of a limo, but it somehow fits.

And the last line is perfect. :3

:)

Thanks for reminding me that wonderful authors still exsist. Fantastic. *faves*

See? *very smug* This is me reviewing (for once), just like I said I would.

I remember when you posted this one in your livejournal, actually. I'm not sure if I ever commented on it, though. In any case, I'll do so here. I picked this one from your list to fling a review at first precisely for that reason.

Simply put, this piece is adorable.

Not only were you able to characterize Mokuba how he ought to be - that is, as a kid, but not obnoxious, whiny, or overly perverted. In this, unlike many fics I've read, Mokuba is a personality, rather than a stereotype. And I think you've got a good grasp on Mokuba's personality, for that matter.

My favorite aspect of this, however, is the way Mokuba interprets Shizuka's behavior, as well as Kaiba's, and their interactions. It's through the lens of his perspective, which is infinitely better than, say, just slapping something like, 'Kaiba's doing this for this reason while Shizuka's doing that for that reason', in the middle of an otherwise (for want of a better word) intimate narrative.

I'm also pleased with how his focus on the subject (Shizuka) tends to wobble off target at times, but never far enough to disrupt the flow of the piece. It makes the introspection more natural. After all, people aren't perfectly one-track minded. I, for one, can't even finish a grocery list without thinking of a dozen other things first, ranging for related to completely unrelated 'wtf'ness, depending upon the circumstances and whatever mindset I'm in at the time.

-

I went over this again with the intent to nitpick, for the sake of offering constructive criticism if I could, but I really can't find anything wrong with this work.

Now, I could point out that I want some silentshipping goodness, because the ambiguity of their interactions makes me itch for some sort of ship validation (be it Mokuba/Shizuka or silentshipping), but that's just me craving something the work isn‘t obligated to give, thus taking no issue with the quality of the piece itself.

In fact, because it doesn't say for certain how Shizuka feels about Mokuba, or how Kaiba feels about Mokuba or Shizuka, it just makes it all the more realistic. After all, how could Mokuba know for sure? He can't read minds.

And, I suppose, that's it. It's a great one-shot.

Marvelous! Just about died laughing... It was like reading Seto-Without-the-Horrible-Angsty-Past, only at age eleven. Perfectly in-character for Mokuba, and he'd better watch himself or Jou'll break his fingers. Really nice piece of work!

mokie is cute, so i like it

Psh, nonsense, my dear, it is a very useful talent indeed. For instance, you can teach sixth graders... *hugest laughs*

I remember reading this, my dear. It's good, as I remembered.

Cymoril, you are so multi-talented (fluff, never thought you could've/would've done that). I really don't like Mokuba/Shizuka but through you hands, I guess they're okay. I absolutely adore this!

You did a great job! Of course, I was smiling the entire time over how CUTE this is (ah, childhood innocence). My dear, you're one of the few good YGO writers left -and you're the only YGO writer I bother reading. Keep writing and bringing a smile to my normally morose face! :D

"She’s pretty and I’m awesome. It’s a perfect match."

*snerk* Marry me. Okay, not really- but please do keep writing lovely awesome wonderfulness like this. Mokuba has the perfect balance of embarassment and arrogance, and this fanfic kept me laughing at both of those qualities. :D

-Kat

-giggles- Mokuba is so damn cute XD

adorable

~Leaf~

You really do seem to have the ability to channel an eleven year old boy, and Mokuba especially. It's sweet that Seto reacts more to Shizuka when he notices that his brother is staring at her; it's like he only pays attention to her as a human being when he sees her through his brother's eyes. It seems like a thing Seto would typically do.

Mokuba's decision-making skills in the last paragraph are just ... *yes*. XD