Another excellent story - and BTW I do appreciate that you made the effort of changing that ugly sounding word 'snuck' to 'sneaked' LOL.

Holy shit. You sneaked (;)) the defeat of the-one-whose-name-is-too-ridiculous-to-say, the-overly-much-hyphenated, in the middle of the honor-duel between Harry and his tormenter? :D

That's brillant.

In general i've liked your way to tackle the basic premise of this story, but i also agree with your own assessment that many things could have done with a lot of fleshing out. I'd say the tenfold number of words could be easily reached without saying too much or become repetitive. But when you've been targeting a "one shot" all the time while writing that's a bit out of your scope, right?

Your duel was an interesting tactic playing fully on Harry's mobility and Dumbledore's arrogant reliance on his superior strength and "ability"... But in the end i like that they've worked out such a tactic before challenging the allegedly strongest wizard of their time...

Then there was the "week" in between the duel and the final demise of the snaky-one... It might be hard on the side of too easy, too quick and too unopposed, especially with the Gringotts hiding place of the horcrux protected by Lestrange, but it is at least a good example of what should have been possible in canon when that never nearly sufficiently damned old fool would have opened his gob more often to people who truly deserved his trust... and i don't want to hear anybody even think "Snape" in that context! Just because he always took himself to be the only trustworthy,wise, allknowing, reliable avatar of goodness and champion of the future so many things have gone deep south, it's a crime.

Of course that's why you had Harry challenge him to your little duel so we run completelly d'accord.

And i like your choice of Tonks and Moody... Moody has a lot to make up to Harry what with him being the cause that he was found and freed in time to survive? And he would be a mentor figure Tonks would naturally go to when she had noticed something wrong in the way Dumbles treated Harry or rather the way Harry reacted to the treatment... maybe Shacklebolt could fill a similar role but Moody has the advantage that you can believe him knowing all the dirty tricks and promissing tactics for such an opportunity...

It's just that half of the story your Alastor does sound hell of a lot like a Remus Lupin... I don't know it's somehow in the style of his talking. too smooth, too loquacious, too few harsh truths or painful reminders to be "constantly vigilant". You could say his way of talking is missing the scab and scars of the real deal Moody...

But that's neither here nor there... you've done a great job of surprising your readers with a nice story and surprising twists... all the while concentrating on Harry and Tonks and how they helped each other to improve... and that's enough to fill ten stories up to the brim.

short and sweet- quite enjoyable even if you did let Dumbles and his boyfriend Snape live

thanks for sharing

Since you clearly stated that you were certainly not allergic to reviews, I decided to humour you with one. So... yeah, good story, hope for a follow-up, though I rather preferred your other one-shot [the one about the Earl of Wizarding Britain and all]. Well, review finite.

Loved the duel, liked Tonks, and your dictionary is right. 'Snuck' is definitely not a word, and you should also avoid 'momentarily,' as it does not mean 'in a moment.' It means for a short time, but is one of those words so often misused that one might as well concede that the meaning is in the process of changing. Best to avoid it. I hope you'll write more, and found the last two stories enjoyable enough that I'll even give the unfinished one a go.

First time I've seen someone use antivodka. Could be a fun concept and it's the right amount of impractical, that wizards love.

But completely jumped-the-shark with that ridiculous duel between Harry and Dumbles. Insane power-ups are bad enough, but this one had even less rhyme or reason than usual.

Other errors follow (horcrux count, etc.).

Still it was good until the shark encounter and mostly entertaining, overall.

I like it, it certainly put the MOB in his place while yielding a victory over Tom, however unintentional that may have been.

Good one!

good short story

Great story thank you.

Hemotem

nicely done.

Great Story

dave

Nicely done. A bit angsty for my tastes, but very enjoyable.

Hey Tara, another very good story. Thanks for answering my review earlier. I write as Herman Tumbleweed and have a story here on ff.n as well as a Yahoo group. This one shows you have progressed with your writing, assuming you wrote this one second. I'm looking forward to reading what you've done with Keith's world. This story, while telescoped and almost too fast paced, does cover a lot of ground and show you have definite talent. Some of us, not to mention any names or point fingers at myself get too caught up in the details, you avoid that by keeping the story going forward and summarizing things which would only make it a very long read. I congratulate your ability to tell a story so well in so few words. Keep up the good work.

Hey great story, love these types where he not a wimp anymore and decides to do something about voldie. Although I do like long fictions I also like these types here where something really AU happens and it finally ends on a good note.

Thanks for the entertainment. so far all three of your fictions have been very interetaining.

Excellent.

It's refreshing to see Dumbles get a good old-fashioned smackdown for his various BS in dealing with Harry. The only thing better, IMNSHO, is seeing Snape get his head busted in with a ratchet. Nice work.