This is a very good story. You mentioned the possibility of a couple more chapters. Is this still an option? I would like to see where it goes!

Lancelot raising an eyebrow to himself in the mirror was quite priceless. (love the way he gives those glaring looks, *Rowr*) I just absolutely could see that. His cockiness coming through, even though he was working through some heavy stuff, about trusting Arthur, trusting himself to be able to work well with the man. He's a hot-head, you showed that well.

And Arthur, you so captured his essence perfectly with your internal monologue. I caught such an intensity of his desire to just be a good man, follow Pelagian theory, be the best. You caught your song perfectly for him in this chapter I think.

Your english is starting to get good, yo uare adding desciption into simple action sentences! Just be careful of tense. By this I mean, make sure that your action verbs. See present, Saw past... Make sure that when you use a word like see, to make sure that you have the verb agreeing with the tense of the person doing it.

Also make sure that your suffixes match. -ed is past tenses, -ing is present tense. You switched it up a few times, but that is a common mistake when people learn english.

But over all this is really nicely done. You have a real knack for internal monologue! Its very hard to do and keep voices distinct, but you did it here. Lancelot sounded cranky, cock-sure and a bit moody. Arthur sounded methodical, a bit contemplative and overall a bit more level headed.

Kudos! And glad I was able to give you the reminder! Very happy you liked Merciful God.

Tristan next chapter? Really? Wow, an excited me I now am! (And that was really REALLY bad english there).

This chapter was wonderful! Not too many mistakes either, your English has really gotten a lot better, especially with the grammer. The only mistakes here could be pawned on spell check so go you!

I loved how you divided it into both men's points of view, with Kay's words echoing in their minds. And the messages you drove home in this chapter were really powerful and well thought out. You can really see how it's all going to start turning around for them, and how the trust can do nothing but build now. Very nicely done there. I loved it completely and totally!

Well as always I can't wait for the next chapter (more so now for my glimpse of Tristan) and update when you can! This story is going really well and I know it may seem harder to write, but it's coming out spectacular!

I really enjoyed this! Interesting take, giving Arthur and Lancelot this common role model to bring them together. They would not have been able to without Kays advice, I think. And the dialogue is quite snappy! I think it suits the pair really really well.

One suggestion would be to intermix the dialogue with some description of character mannerism a bit more, or description of the surroundings a bit more. Like wind playing with hair, sunlight glinting, etc etc... That might round the writing out, and support the great dialogue! Make it fuller sounding, more colorful, more robust. Add to the already great idea, and give it an environment to work in.

This chapters wording and grammar was so much improved! You have really improved! I am so happy that you are enjoying this learning process, and doing it by writing something you really enjoy!

Looking forward to the next! You're doing great!

This was a great chapter! It really showed the foundations of how their friendship will develop. And with a few well placed words from an older respected figure no less. I loved it.

I can't wait to see what you have for us next. This is even better than your drabbles, since your telling us not only a part of the story, but the whole thing. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE your drabbles, but this is just somethign else entirely and you should be very proud of how it's turning out.

Update when you get the chance!

Interesting idea you have here, even though I do not know the song, you tied the story back to the words very well. Your grammar misstakes inherent with learninga language are a bit more evident in the longer story, but all in all you did wonderfully! My suggestion would be to use your grammar checker in your word processor if you have one. It will catch most of them and teach you at the same time!

The interesting fact that you give Lancelot this hardened edge is very fun, and I can't wait to see you develop it more. he's interesting this way. Intelligent, dark, brooding, and must definitely explosive.

Sorry for the delay in reviewing, but I am glad to see you posting a larger story!

Looking forward to the next!

This is awsome, love this younger version of Lancelot, he's amusing and still could be well- Lancelot! lol And poor Arthur confused over why his own knight distrusts him...

Cant really blame him, Lancelot that is.

Romans enslaved Sarmatians with that 'pact'.

Arthur is roman.

Lancelot is sarmatian.

Thus Arthur remains the enemy until its well and trully proved otherwise.

That how i think Lancelot here sees that.

And I think i agree...would you trust a roman knowing they were responsible for your ensalvement and possible(inevitable) death?

Hey!

I read the summary, then I read the first lignes of your story and I thought : YES! Thats going to be cool! I havent yet read your story but Ill read it now.

I thought I must write this cause I think there are still so few very good KA Lance/Arthur friendship storys here!

Read ya ;)

Yay go you! I'm so happy you decided to try your hand at a longer story! And what a wonderful start so far! I'm excited to see how the friendship develops between them.

And kudos to your original idea. I've never read a story where it starts out with an older knight getting their discharge. Props to you for that.

You're grammer mistakes show a bit more in the longer peice, but nothing major. You can still understand it all so I wouldn't worry on that at all if I were you. Your English is still incredible and you should be very proud of it.

Anywho, eagerly awaiting another update! (I did a happy dance when I saw your name in my inbox proceeded by new story!) Can't wait for more, so update when you get the chance.