No need to be sorry. If that is the way you feel then it's perfectly okay to stop writing this story.

Maybe someday you'll post another story with which you can identify better now. Until then, all the best!

Hey,

I applaud you. I never thought of this story that way but then again, I haven't read it in years. I applaud you and I totally give you my full support to go your new way!

Good on you and Good Luck.

You shouldn't feel or say sorry for, you just ... evolve. You re older and wiser than when you first start. You change so does your work and your view of it, and i know it will continue this way.
Your're a good person, and i hope you will continue to do what you like.

All the best to you, Spirt0! Please keep writing and growing. I am certain you will go on to bigger and brighter things. Take care of yourself :)

i love this story please update it! i keep on reading it over and over again. i can't wait for them to get back together again (if you're planning it to be like that). UPDATE PLEASE!

Oh please tell me that you will be updating soon! This is so wonderfully written! How sarcastic and human Van and Hitomi are is brilliant! Van's comments on life makes me laugh and the metaphors... oh the metaphors! I especially love how you put a lot of thought into this, and it can be seen. Also the heart-pulling emotions!

You absolutely need to update again. This story is just amazing!

I will be checking back!

Youve done such a great job with this. The chapter lengths are awesome and the way you write is fantastic!

Keep it up!

I loved the chapter! I always love it when you get inside Van's head. There's such an honesty to his thoughts that it's just plain heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time.

Yay, I was happy to see a new chapter was up for this story. Hitomi's kidnapping seemed so disturbing. Hope we'll see more chapters soon.

Another good chapter! Was super psyched when I got the alert! (smile). All I got to say is daaaaaaaaaaamn I can see why Hitomi has some trust issues. I'm curious how they got through it. Van is such a hard character to pin down as to what exactly his motives are and what he wants. he's very much living in the moment without thinking of future consequences sometimes which I enjoy but also makes me to want to smack the crap out of him! Bah! And noes! Only 3-4 more chapters! GUH. While I want them I don't want it to be done! I'm a conflict of emotions!

But anywhoo, another great chapter! Such a dark and twisted story (in a GOOD way) with glimpses of light. Enjoy it since it's not all unicorns and faery dust, you know?

Nice chapter. keep up the good work. :)

Awesome chapter but so sad! Reading it I just wanted to be that girl in Mean Girls who sneaks in to express all those feelings bottled up inside of her. I also want to sit those two down to sort their sh*t out and get on with it! I mean I get the angst after all they've gone through but I want happiness! Guh! And with an ending like that you BETTER update sooner than a year from now missy! Can't wait for the next chapter!

p.s. sorry I'm such a slacker. I totally read it on my phone when I got the notification that it was published and didn't review. I repent for my error!

Well, I wanted to review this story before, but now I really feel I have to say something. Not only because the radios are currently heavily rotating Adele's "Set Fire to the Rain", which I realized reminds me of this fic OR because I can TOTALLY relate to your college experiences. (I don't wanna dwelve too much into that but the feelings you describe are exactly my own. I dunno what is worse - being directed a question and getting the answer wrong or (feeling like) knowing the answer nobody from the students knows and not being capable to speak it out loud in front of everyone, while feeling like having a heart attack real soon) The fear of failure is just too much and the desire to be the best is strong XD. It has never occured to me though that this could have a connection with why ever since I started college I never finish what I start when it comes to my free-time activities. Now you gave me something to think about. Anyway, I hope you'll get more comfortable with your college life. I want to get professional help too, it really sucks to feel so stressed all the time.

Now, to your story: it's great, don't ever doubt that. I've read crapton of fanfiction (mostly back in the days) and never read one like this. I think it takes a real courage to post such a story. These are heavy issues you are dealing with, and I think your writing does them justice. The thoughts of the both characters are sometimes so scarily real, not just your usual lovey-dovey stuff. Like when the thought crosses her mind that he may actually kill her somewhere in the woods (even if she loves him)... or when she slaps him, he automatically reacts with cursing her in his mind, and first then admits he deserves it. Well, this story is scary altogether. Scarily good, I mean. After the first few chapters I thought: "no way this can be fixed EVER". And I just knew that if something like what happened to Hitomi happened to my friend, I would try to yell into her dumb head to never give the bastard a second chance. And yet you can't help but feel for them and root for them. The combination of the brighter high school flashbacks and the grimdark reality is really interesting. Your ideas are refreshing. I don't know what else to say :D Looking forward to the next chapter even though I'm already fearing what happened to younger!Hitomi.

OH, and one last thing I always wanted to say: I love your "hockey playing Van" because, obviously, I love (watching) ice hockey! :D

It did NOT suck and you did NOT lose your magic! I thought it was great! I really want to know whats going to happen and if there will be this big showdown between Dilandau and Van...I hope no one gets hurt! *covers eyes*

Please please please continue it!

I hope everything goes well for you though! Good luck!

This has got to be one of my favorite stories, I like reading it when I feel blah... It's the perfect mix of romance and angst, sweetness and ...ah, bittersweet, that's the word. It's awfully bittersweet. You're aw~ing and trying to swallow tears. Like the whole "our eyes make christmas"...that was...how'd you even think that up? That was deep. Poetic. It's the line that stuck with me, and the way it was said by Hitomi, it was like a truth. Like: we belong together. But these trust issues, the abuse...it's hard to get past, hard to get over. My favorite line from the whole story because it's reality: love does NOT conquer all, no matter how much the fairy tales say it does...some things you just can't forgive... And chapter 8 was...amazing. I am actually incapable of doing anything while reading your stories and it takes me ages to finish 'cause I keep re-reading. The conversation between Allen and Dilandu took me 10 minutes to finish, the whole "everybody twists reality" part. Your stories make me think by the way, I get the feeling that there's a deeper meaning that I should be chasing (is there? I think too much). Um, anyway, Van was honest in this chapter. Everything that ran through his mind he said out loud...and Hitomi didn't believe him, or didn't want to believe him... I love the way you wrote this fic, it gives you insight to all the characters thoughts and motives, it's better than skipping from POV to POV, like some stories. It's original. What else did I want to say? ...oh...in the flashbacks, when Van and Hitomi were in high school, it reminds me of Life in moderation...it's sweet. Falling in love. I really look forward to the flashbacks (the jacket...so sweet it made me jealous). Ok, you've probably have had enough of the rambles of a fanatic... I'll go quietly. Just please update at some point. Not necessarily soon, just when you can.