Plz continue

Hola lei toda la historia y me encanto, deberias retomarla para terminarla, saludos

Wow, this is really good. You've got Vegeta in character (can't say much about his GT or Super self as I never watched those seasons) and at the same time showing a soft side and having Raditz as something of a jokester in his teens is a great difference to his rather ruthless self in the anime/comic/manga and I'm really loving it and especially loving him being something of a big brother figure to Vegeta. I can totally see you having him in the present with slight changes and he's constantly teasing Vegeta or Goku (though Goku would likely laugh right along with him knowing his care-free personality) Definitely gonna keep an eye on this story since I can't really find too many good DBZ stories where Pan ends up back in time where Gohan (her dad, not Grandpa Gohan) was a kid. Though there are minor spelling errors here and there so you might wanna do a double check on the chapter you've written before posting it. Just a little friendly advice. Cheers! :)

I like ur fic, i don't c much witg pan and bra timd traveling when they r younger and side pls post a new chapter i've been waiting for three years.

So this is your ending? Got to admit kind of a let down. Well maybe you are not done or just posted the ending on another site. It seems to be close to the end but not the end. Lots of questions still remain. Plus more importantly Bra and Pan are not home. Guess I'll have to search a few sites to see if I can find your ending.

I'm rather curios about the time travel rules you have for this fic. They seem to break with Dragonball rules. Which is fine. But it's kind of a contradiction to have a Mirai Timeline and then have Vegeta remember things from a new may be premature however. Seeing as I'm not done yet. The time machine difference may yet explain the plot hole. As well as they might only be memories and not a whole new timeline.

I see you switched to Vegeta referring to her as girl. I think that just fits the situation better. Seeing as how they are kids right now. I also thought it was funny you brought up mind reading. That was just one obscure power used only once and never explained. It's kind of like Piccalo's clothes beam. It was used once and just not explained. One of the more obscure powers in DBZ.

Just a few notes on this chapter really. Wouldn't Vegeta refer to Bulma as Girl since she's not a woman yet. He says woman in the anime. But he is meeting her much younger here. Just some food for thought.

I wonder how you feel about Gine. This story was obviously written before Dragonball Minus. But Goku's mother actually has a name appearance and backstory now. Crazy huh? Some were a little disappointed when they finally saw her.

Myself I'd personally be more interested in the Queen of All Saiyans. Gine might be in the next movie. But learning about the Queen would tell us much more about saiyan society in general and Vegeta. We could learn what class she is from. Given how the Royal Family is in the manga she's probably an elite. But still I'd be interested to hear about her.

I'm not sure they should have told Gohan everything. They could have left out the future battles and much more about Goku's fate. I guess the same could be said about Vegeta. Plus the future is already changed since it's likely things will not play out the same seeing as how Vegeta and Raditz are likely profoundly changed by these events.

You must have written these authors notes a while ago. Not surprising given the posting date was 8 years ago. But actually Bulma and Vegeta are married. Just not in the Cell Saga. They are unmarried there but by the Buu Saga they are married. It's made more clear in the new canon movies Battle of the Gods and Ressurection F where Bulma does refer to Vegeta as her husband. That and the New series Dragonball Super. You are half correct though she is definitely not married in the infamous 3 year gap. And you can't really judge the main timeline on what Mirai Trunks says. Since Vegeta no longer exists in that timeline. And they don't likely get married until after the Cell Saga. But I can see how you would think they never married since only in the new material does Bulma refer to Vegeta as her husband. I don't you to amend the story or anything. Just pointing it out.

I think this chapter was good. After having a serious chapter you need a lighter more comedic chapter. Or before a serious chapter you can have a funny one. I always thought all the good storytelling should be peaks and valleys. Basically your story should flow like a roller coaster. You should definitely put some more comedy in your future writings as well.

I always like the name Scratch. I thought it was a good name for a cat. I always thought they should give Mrs. Briefs a name too and her husband. Well I guess Dr Briefs works. But I did hear Toriyama wanted to name Mrs, Briefs Paunchy. Some kind of underwear reference from Japan I guess. Not sure how that would have worked out. I am glad she is left unnamed.

I am ok with you making up a race or names really. I am even OK with Saiyan magic. I guess some people are turned off by it. I am too sometimes if the powers aren't well thought out. But ultimately we have to remembr this entire series not just about about power levels and ki blasts. There is a huge amount of magic and mysticism and unexplained powers in it. So I am ok with anything new. Look at Frieza's race. It was never named. A lot of fanfics either call them Arcosians (wrongly from the anime) or Ice-jin. But even this does not take away from good storytelling.

It's an interesting history you gave the story of the first Prince Vegeta. There is very little on the show about Saiyan Culture or History. Most of mysticism of the show revolve around Earth history and Deities. The Saiyan likely had all kinds of things unique to their culture beyond the class system. Though most of it is likely buried in Tribal history and oral tradition. It was the original Sayain Tuffle conflict that gave the Saiyans access to technology. And the Arcosian deal allowed them to travel the stars. So it's probably like the oral traditions here on Earth with a few shrines to deities as well.

I am unsure about Vegeta's father since you don't get much information on him. He did take the boy on purging missions with him. And likely trained him from a young age. He looked up to his father obviously in the show. Seeing as how years later when trying to become a super saiyan he still remembers his words to him. The Saiyan Queen is a complete mystery as she is not shown in either the show or manga. Goku finally got a mom (Gine). But Vegeta's is still missing. He probably did get his coloring from his mother and possibly his height as well. Though in the first episode you see Vegeta he does have brown hair like his father. But that's an anime plot hole mostly.

I m going to let the dates slide. But in Dragonball they refer to the years as ages. As in Age 850. You put in AD which is how we tell time in this universe. Also the years and ages of the children are heavily depended on which version of the show you watched. In the english dub, Bra is born in Age 780 and Trunks in 766 making him 14 when she was born. I am unsure why they did this. But it's because in the english dub Bra appears 10 years after the defeat of Buu. While in other dubs the gap is only 5 years.

I am not sure to be honest how official any other timelines are anymore. With the new Dragonball Super I guess we'll get something more official. Between that and the two new canon movies we'll get a more concrete age on both Pan and Bra. Though it looks like Pan will be older than Bra in the new canon.

So you went with him being afraid of worms. Interesting thing is that is an anime only thing. He had no fears of worms in the Original Manga. In a filler episode of DBZ they gave him that fear. Which is for comedic effect. Seeing as how his personality is. Personally I like it. It's just another quirk that makes him a well rounded character. But you always get those manga purists who say it is not canon. Well I guess it is anime canon technically, just not manga canon. So it gets confusing. Much like GT is not technically canon but it exists. At least until Super comes in a wipes out GT.