Very good. It was an interesting idea, and I'm glad you took the the time to devolp and write this. I'll definately be checking out more of your work (I've been lazy lately) as well as updating my own. Anyways, interesting and creative story, I really enjoyed reading it.

Interesting premise marred by sloppy writing. In addition to your usual awkward sentences and erratic punctuation ('Looking up through the shower of red hair that topped my head, and tended to fall in my face. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw the view.' That's bad. That period in the middle should be a comma, at the very least. Better yet, the whole sentence should be redone. As it is it's stilted and formal. It needs to be more dynamic, to match the situation. For example: 'My hair had gotten in my eyes. Pushing the long red locks aside I looked up, gasping in surprise at the sight of a monkey ninja looming over me.'), the scene contradicts itself a couple of times: Adam hits concrete when he falls, and groans as if hurt. But he's wearing that uber-armor, which should have protected him, yes? Then he kills four monkey ninjas with a sonic weapon, after which he and Kim sneak out of the room to avoid more monkey ninjas they can see in the rafters. Do you see what I'm talking about? Being stealthy and using a weapon that uses sound to kill...don't really go together. Another thing. You take pains to describe how the ninjas are armed, but that info has no bearing on what happens. As such, it's unneccessary. A reference to how his blade flashed as he swung it would be enough to let us know he was armed.

Ron snapping isn't a far fetched idea. With all he has experienced bottled up and stored, he is a bomb waiting to happen. I think we see a bit of that from the So the Drama movie with him and Drakken at the end. Also, he seems to enjoy being evil more than Drakken ever did.

Looks like this might be a little more than Kim can handle.

Very interesting. I know the story you used for a back story on this one. I either lost track of it, or it has been abandonned.

This seems like it is going to be one TWISTED ride. Is the other woman with Ron Shego? Or perhaps is it Yori? Questions abound Man. Update soon.