This seems like a really cool story, but I don't like ocs with dirty mouths. Too uncouth

I Like, I Lust, I Love!Please Update Soon!

Even though it's probably AU now, I can't help but adore this story. Well-written Rachels are hard to find, and I already adore yours. Esp her interaction with Bruce. Also, the subject you're touching on - "justice without compassion is corruption" is such a delicious one. I really hope you haven't abandoned this story.

Oh no, no, don't tell me you have quit updating this story? I just found it, and it's marvelous and witty - it has plot, it has characters, it has humor! Please continue on? Did you write this before you knew the TDK storyline, because it kind of mirrors it somewhat, but different enough that it will be very interesting to see how it will merge back or veer off completely into AU.

wow! Great story! I wish you would continue!

Everyone is very in character and believable. I like your Rachel much better than the Rachel in Dark Knight. I'm glad you're trying to explain a little why she let Dent take over her job and that she's not blindly idolizing the arrogant, over confident guy.

The Bruce and Alfred banter over the morning newspaper was cute! And Gordon's reaction to Dent was well written.

Please please continue this! :D

i really enjoy this story so far. u're doing an amazing job situating setting and plot. im looking forward to seeing the bat in action and also what happens in this story. keep it up

i really like it so far. summer is whitty and catchy not some hair head. ha i even believe she can get the story. excited to read the next chapt

Absolutely great! Keep it going, keep it going, keep it going. I can't wait to read the next chapter.

Hi, I really enjoy your writing. Are you going to update this story soon?

I love the bantering between Rachel and Bruce. She really has him pegged. This one chapter defines their relationship so well. So far, each chapter has been primarily from one character’s viewpoint. I do hope you continue with that. I am amazed by how well it is working.

You are doing a brilliant job with the politics of the story and handling it with class and intelligence. We are getting the opportunity to view the different angles and each character’s perspective. All the while, it’s highly entertaining.

Favorite lines:

“If it were business, he would have tucked it away, passed it to Alfred, shoved it aside. If he'd left it out, he'd done so on purpose, to send a message.”

“She bristled at this commanding tone, trying to pass off the shudder along her spine as indignant rather than chilled; his voice had dropped a register, become a growl-Bruce Wayne's environment only partially contained the Batman.”

"I don't want to know how much that bottle costs, do I?"

"It costs a moderate amount of money."

I hope the next chapter comes soon!

Lisa

This is a great paragraph:

"Dent's a bad sign for all of us, Bruce. Hill and he will go one-hundred-and-eighty degrees in the opposite direction trying to smother crime in this town. It can't be done that way. It takes time, patience, and compassion, something politicians like Hill and hot-shots like Dent don't understand and can't afford. They'll want results immediately and they'll step all over innocent people to make it look like they're making progress. That's not justice."

I love Rachel's nuanced understanding of the situation. She really is Bruce's conscience.

Only one tiny bit of con-crit . . . the phrase "servile class" struck a wrong note for me-I think "serving class" or "servant class" might be better. "Servile" suggests a "submissive or fawning in attitude or behavior" and is characteristic of slaves, not servants.

Okay, that's way too much criticism for such a great story, and the only reason I noticed it is because the rest is so good.

"I've been re-educated" is also such a brilliant line. It implies not just Bruce's years of self-enforced aceticism, but also the time with Ducard, and further implies Chinese re-education camps, which makes sense given where he was.

intelligent and intriuging. i'm very pleased to see Harvey Dent in this, and your characterizations are flawless. A truly impressive piece of fanfiction. WRITE MORE! Will Scarecrow be in this? I am DYING to see how his character would develop in your capable hands. keep up the good work!

intelligent and intriuging. i'm very pleased to see Harvey Dent in this, and your characterizations are flawless. A truly impressive piece of fanfiction. WRITE MORE! Will Scarecrow be in this? I am DYING to see how his character would develop in your capable hands. keep up the good work!

An excellent chapter. The conversation between Gordon and Dent was exceptionally well written. I love the way it begins with Gordon being suspicious of the new attorney in town and how the two men play a verbal game, and observing the reactions, to feel each other out.

I’m very interested in where you will go with Harvey’s character. Will he be an old friend of Bruce’s here? Will he become Two-Face in this story?

You have a wonderful talent for making small observations on behalf of the characters that really make them stand out and become three dimensional. A couple of my favorites from this chapter:

“Years of pretending not to see had taught him how not to react.”

“Gordon had met tough-real tough. It didn't have to pretend, even if it did wear a mask.”

Also, I must apologize for an earlier review. I can’t believe I didn’t know who Summer Gleason was! How embarrassing on my part. Several people have reprimanded me for that mistake. Still, I love what you are doing with her character.

Looking forward to more,

Lisa

I'm really loving this fanfic. Probably the best Batman Begins story out there right now. Kudos to the great characterizations and intriguing plot.

It would be great if you could work in the return of the villains in the movie as well. Thinking Scarecrow/ Dr. Crane here. His background and character wasn't all that well portrayed on screen, so you'd have a lot of leeway there. That's all of the constructive criticism I can offer for today.

Apart from that, superb writing! Keep the updates coming!