Great job

The 'Beginning' was a super first chapter. The plot seems fun and your writing style keeps things interesting. I'm going to keep reading.

They can't marry until their in their mid 20s? That doesn't make sense...I've know 16 year olds that are married, also their NINJA, they go on missions from age 12! They could be dead by 16, statistically WILL be dead by 18, and MORE the statistically dead by 20. Not to meantion that with the kyuubi thrown in the mix we have the added problem of Naruto aging to maturity quicker then human... Or had you not noticed that Naruto is FULLY grown at 16? (with the sage training)

Even if English isn't your main language you express yourself well and the chapter is easily understood. I like the ideas you have here in the first chapter. I am going to read on:)

OMG! total OOCness on Neji's part. I couldn't stop laughing XD

your grammar is fine i didn't even notice anything

and ether way the story is good

YOU ARE SO A VRY SMART GEINUS I LOVE YOUR STORIES YOU ROCK MY WORLD [and I am a women please dont forget thank you]BUT STILL AWESOME!

U R REALLY AWESOME AND YOU HAVE TO WRITE MORE YOU ARE A GENIUS MAN HOPE CAN CONTACT YOU [IN FLAMES OF MOE]AND YOU ARE FILLED WITH AWESOMENESS

P.S

I AM YOUR NUMBER 1 FAN!

HOLY COWS U R SO AWESOMe

you make good jokes but MAN YOUR SO AWESOME WITH PAIRING OTHERS AND YOU SUCH A AWESOME PERSON AND I AM BURNING OF FLAMES OF MOE U R AWESOME KEEP WRITING PLEASE

P.S

YOUR STILL AWESOME _ XD T_T {LIFT MY FIST OF AWESOMENES} YOUR STILL AWESOME

I AM BURNING FLAMES OF MOE YOUR SO AWESOME WHERE DO YOU GET THIS IDEAS!HOW YOU GET TO READ MY OWN STORY AND HOW YOU UM CAN UM GO UM I AM JUST KIDDING I AM A GIRL HOPE I CAN SHOW MY PICTURE AND I GONNA HAVE A HEART ATTAK AND I MEAN IT I LOVE YOUR S.T.O.R.Y YOUR TRULY A VERY AWESOME WRITER

BY:redhunter313

MAN YOU ROCK YOUR SO COOL AND I MEAN SO AWESOME AND PLEASE WRITE MORE

YOUR SO AWSOME[AWSOME IS MY MEMO]SHESH I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR GRAMMER JUST KEEP ON WRITING AND YOUR SO AWSOME!

she accepts

This would totally be a insane story but really needs work on grammar to make it easier to understand whats happening.

nice though .