Wow, I just loved this. I don't know how I hadn't read it before. It's perfect. I hadn't thought of it before, but that's exactly how it should have happened. Thank you for this.

I wish it had ended like this. Beautiful.

*Sigh* If only the CSI producers could spend one day reading all of the wonderful GSR fanfics. Lovely job! I really like it!

~Jenna

“You don’t look at them!” Sara could only nod at the order, “You keep your eyes on the floor.”

Sara kept her eyes on the floor before her. She felt exposed, and just wanted to be in the safe confines of her apartment.

Suddenly Grissom’s hand was on hers, taking the keys out of her hand, and guiding her through the door.

*

I loved that part. You jumped from the past into the present, connecting the two in a swift move. I like the way it reads. You should try that more. Retrospection's a good way to jump back and forth without losing the plot.

Well done!

Aww..nice..

AHh if only.

Awesome. Just awesome! Very well written. Bravo!

Absolutely awesome and how I so wish this was how it ended. Perfect!

Congratulations, a great story overall. It seems that you’ve written what everyone wanted to see, but you’ve managed to keep it in character.

Now some nitpicking:

“Opening her locker, she used the mirror hanging on the inside of the door to look at her injured skin. Shaking her head, she was surprised Adam hadn’t broken the skin.” I think these two sentences are too close since they both end with “skin”. It’s no big deal, just a suggestion. The same happens with this two other sentences: “Sara trudged up…” “Sara stopped…”.

There were also some punctuation problems and a couple of typos, but nothing serious. I’m only mentioning it because your story was very good; if you fixed those it would come dangerously close to being perfect.

This is my favorite bit:

‘This is it,’ Sara thought, ‘He’s going to kill me, or worse. But Grissom’s here.’

I love that. The way I see it, it’s not that Sara is convinced that Grissom will save her, or that he’ll even be able to open the door, but merely a realization that he is with her. Even from behind that glass, even if he is not able to stop Adam and he kills her, Grissom is there. That line says that much without stating the obvious.

Very good job!

Very well written. It really ends the episode nicely. Good job!

This was really good :o)

Very well written!

Too bad the shows writers would never write something like that.

Now, THAT'S the ending that I wanted to see! :D Wonderful, wonderful job!

(also, can't wait for the next chapter of "A Trial of the Heart" :D )

Beautifully written, I would have loved to see Comitted end like that.

I wish that was the ending... while i'm dreaming, i'd like a million dollars and a pony, too. Good story!