I like cliffhanger XD

u must not leave it like this!

i'll die of suspense!

more soon please!

You need to learn how to write dialogue into the story, not just post it in script format while the story's written around it. Dialogue tags exist for a reason. Everyone else seems to believe your writing is fantastic, but it is nothing more than mediocre at best. You need a lot of improvement with your prose, and I'm sorry if you don't like the fact that I'm not afraid to tell you that straight out even if it's going to injure your pride.

You say in your profile that you're sixteen, but your writing is hardly evident of that. Please, if you really are as old as you say you are, try to stay awake during English and actually learn something about the language you've so masterfully butchered in this so-called work of art. Run your stories through a spellchecker. Take the time to write your dialogue into them-any high school English teacher will be willing to help you learn how to write a proper story. You don't need to stick scripted dialogue into a story. If you write well enough, you can work the dialogue into the story without even needing dialogue tags.

I'm not going to say that this outright sucks, because it could be passable with a bit of work on your part. It's not my job as a good critiquer to make you feel good about your writing no matter how awful it happens to be. I know what a good piece of writing should look like, and this fic does NOT fit that description yet.

Please Update

Great job! Write chapter 3 as soon as possible! Maybe something with Arnie in it, cuz in that one episode, he said he liked Helga...;)

nice

I await part 3...:)

(pulls head back and-hey!)

!

Oh man, how can you stop here? Please finish. What'll Gerald think? Pheobe will be way happy. What will happen between them? UUUPPPDDDAAATTTEEE!

The flood, good touch.

(Looking at Arnold with the 'no' finger going tsktsktsk)

Arnold, you know better. Not only are you eavesdropping, but you're breaking and entering someones closet. But even more important, YOU DIDN'T REALIZE WHO IT IS! I mean, come on. Footballhead, Cecile, Little pink BOOK! You can't be this dense and dumb!

Now to the author. (A big grin, then drops on the floor with hands toghether)This is SO CUUUUL! Helga's gonna blow! And he's starting to like Helga! And he saw the shrine. Can we get some water, this is a Helga's about to be a fire hazard. Once again, this story rocks up mountains! ooooooo

(Falls to floor cradling self)I can read the rest, I have to find out, I can click the-*click*

This chapter is very sudden, but hurry up!

I like it, but it's more of a play script than a story. I could imagine it being acted out on stage.

That was a wonderful story! I can't believe that you only have 29 reviews for it. It's such a wonderful peice of work! I congratulate you! Please do continue!

Wishing you,the best of luck,

~*~Angel~*~

aaaaaaawwwwwwwwhhhhh this is really sweet, write more please

I like how you let Arnold have a plan X. From what I recall from the show, although Arnold is noble and compassionate, he can be impish and aggressive when push comes to shove. Keep up with the good storytelling and write on!

Hey that was great! But, I think you should leave it as it is. Maybe rescue the kids from the flood, but I don't think you need a sequal to tell how Arnold and Helga would break the news to the rest of the class, it would be too akward. But hey, it's your story! Good job!