Nice story you should mark it as a crossover with X-men or whatever those Japanese people were from so more people can find it.

It helps the reader if you identify the crossovers you are attempting in the summary. I recognize Charles Xavier from the X-Men, but have no clue who the Japanese characters are, and you've given no background to help the uninitiated understand.

Also, there are many misspellings, which makes it difficult to read. Examples:
diren driven
Surray Surrey
Amarica America
welp whelp
decendent descendent
plce place

This looks like a good concept for a story, but you might want to find a beta reader to help you make sure it's ready for publishing to a wider audience.

Sirius would have left. Especially after the pardon. This would allow him to take up his life and marry. Besides Remus is also there and needs him as well.

Excellent, Harry! Well done!

Really excellent! Would both Harry and Severus except their relationship that fast though?

What an unusual idea for a story!

Sad, can't believe you ended it. But it's interesting.

Hey

This is really cool, I love the story line, there are a few things however that you could do to improve it and I understand that it is an old story so if any of this is irrelevant please just ignore it.

You could find a beta reader who would be able to help you with your spelling and grammar. Also the ending is very rushed, so maybe you could expand it? I dunno if that would be possible but the ending seems almost crude.

Keep writing

thepip

it wasn't long anough... lol, it's the only bad thing I had to say.

I loved the deities and everything. I just wish it was longer because it ended to quick for me.

Every words was read and loved.

loved the storie had a good few laughs and am hoping to find some more in your future stories

Yay...

Sequel...

Please...

love the story, hope you update asap!

I find the characters acceptance to each other far to quickly then normal. It's like all those feelings whether it's happiness, sadness, and angry emotions disappeared like never there at all. Even if both people that is Harry and Severus notice or acknowledged the fact of Dumbledore did them a great injustice, but it can not totally get rid of the emotions of years of anger,resentment, and hatred between the two. Unless both of them never really hated each other too much. I like the parts where the Weaselys and Hermione actually stood on Harry's side, at least stood up to Dumbledore and not always listen to his plans and orders.

I feel that the story itself need more work before posting. It can turn out to be a good story if more effort is put into writing this story and with will throughout ideas to put into words then perhaps the story will look much better than now.

Right now the story is more of a draft than a actual story. I'm not trying to be harsh with u but just letting u know that with a bit more effort everything will turn out great. Nice try by the way.

you gotta be kidding me! that was way too short! please write a sequel!

I'm sorry to said this is one of those suckiest ending have ever read about. But overall it's a pretty good. SOme of the chapters kind the missing some details but if the reader can think on it then you don't really need to write it all out.