This was a gorgeous little story. Bravo!

For some reason, this chapter (especially Kyoko and Rei's moments) make me think of the EVA equivalent of Mame, of all things.

This story is so cute that I can't find the words to describe it. Compliments, dude!

This is a good read. It goes places I didn't expect and is definitely a very competently written piece, which portrays Kyoko as someone that fits into the Eva universe. That is, as messed up as the rest of them.

The tone reminds me of canon, if somewhat more positive and I think the ending does have the "we survived, things are messed up, but it might get better." So it seems you succeeded, at least for me.

One thing: I think Asuka spelling out the "felt like he was raping my soul" is a little too blunt. The use of the words like "violated" in the situations where the subject of the merging of Shinji and Asuka worked better with that bit more subtlety. My first thought at the first "invasion" of Asuka was "this sounds like rape", so you were plenty obvious there, so I think you didn't even need to mention the word, because I at least had perfectly understood how Asuka felt about it. That said, why isn't Shinji more affected? That violation goes both ways, as is said several times.

Still, that is a minor thing. This is one of the better fics I've read and one of the closest to the tone of canon, without being as depressing. I usually find the "people get awesome and fix things", so this is closer to original flavor and I think you did very well. Well done.

10/10

This was a great fic. Hope you make a sequel. Keep up the good work.

Shouldn't Kyoko be just as insane as the part of her that wasn't absorbed? Walking around with half a soul must be bad for your mental health.

Very good. the originality doesn't overly clash with the original series, and the end was entirely fitting, even if it was a tad rushed, as you say. But that doesn't make it bad, on the contrary! It gives the feel of a story at it's beginning, somewhere where the reader's mind can decide to leave off, or spurn their imagination towards a seperate end, so far off, yet not entirely inconceivable.

Anyway.

thank you for this, and i hope to find more like this in future!

Great story!

A beautiful story! I love asuka's characterization here.

While I find this chapter a much better improvement from the first chapter, Kyoko is still annoying, nothing ruins a bit of the story if one of the characters seem to be all knowing and practically omnipotent and doesn't seem to have weakness.

The shinji and asuka scene in EVA-02 seemed a bit cheesy, the fact that they can telepathically speak didn't really have impact. Perhaps if it was more subtle and Asuka felt, rather then know what shinji was thinking and maybe if shinji wasn't really aware of her.

I find Rei's behavior a tad bit out of character, I would rather think she would tazer Kyoko then and there. And if that wasn't "suspicious" behavior then I say Kyoko should be tazered anyway just cause so far she irritates me. If you meant to create her character to that extent then I say you have succeeded sir. The fact that she has already adapted herself to this time period and technological level of Nerv already makes me doubt this story believable-ness a bit.

I found the 'how' of the story rather lacking, but once I got past this initial bump in my suspension of disbelief however I found it to be an original and worthy read. Kyoko's charecterization (especially in her moments of interaction with Rei and Gendo) was quite a bit of fresh air.

This seems to be something of pattern in many of your fics that I truly hope you get past; you have an interesting idea that you want to get to but tend to leave the set-up moments of divergence quite vague. Don't be in such a rush... If you spent a little more time explaining just how that initial jump from cannon continuity to your fic takes place it would make the rest of the story an even better read.

A melancholy ending, very rare in the fanfiction world. This had been a very enjoyable ride.

If a sequel is ever made, I will try to be one of the firsts to read it.

It is very sad was sad to see cold relations between Asuka and her mother. There is much more sad things in this story, sad but realistic. Respect to the author.