NICE! :D

This is pretty good! In this fic, Keitaro seems like a male version of Naru. He's not willing to admit that his misfortunes are HIS fault. Nice work man...

UPDATE SOON DAMMIT!

Hanku

Not bad, not bad at all. I like it. )

Couple of things. Check your spelling a little more by reading your own work. Even a spell checker would miss the word weather, when you meant whether. Second, you had a good thing going but it seemed you started to rush things towards the last 1/3, about when Keitaro and Haruka met.

Overall, I like it and can't wait to see more.

Good start to what seems like a good story

Hope u update it soon

This is a pretty good story, at the moment, the only thing I can think of is to use the Spellchecker a little more in the future, I spotted a few misspellings and whatnot.