Posted 23 November 2012, at and the Coruscant Entertainment Center in my The Critic's Two Cents. I was posting directly to the actual story threads, but my computer went down for the second time in six months with a virus in June of 2012. Then in November kotorfanmedia went down for reasons unknown, so I was stymied in my attempts to post the reviews. I had waited for it to revive, but you on deserve your reviews.

An aside; someone got mad at me because I used the term Generic to describe their work. All it means is that instead of putting themselves into it, they merely followed the plot line slavishly. Anyone can copy, a good writer creates.

TSL from the beginning: The hero thinks

Remember to sight edit. When you said 'removed from the vents' I believe you meant 'removed from the (e)vents'.

The prologue made this good reading. Like my own work, the main character has a lot of angst over the war, but unlike mine, she pretty much ran from it. Though that was a valid option. Mine got a job where her non-Jedi skills were still usable.

yeah, I like this so far. one question, though. are you gonna add the cut scenes? well, not all, obviously, but I was just curious. if anybody hasn't heard of the cut content dialog and are interested, there's a link at the bottom of my pro.

I like it. :) But as it has been mentioned, having the dialogue word-for-word from the game will get tedious quickly. Try putting your own twist on things, and your story will be even better. :)

Brings back the game.. oo jah.

:D hope you oppdate and by the way, you could thake the next chap to be from Atton view.

( less time on Peragus )

... _

Nice chapter, like the interaction between Atton and the Exile

Good so far. I'm looking forward to seeing how you're going to handle this. One critisism, though, and it's more like a suggestion, when you follow the game dialogue to the word, it can be a bit boring. When you include the exile's game response as well, it just seems like we've seen this all before and there's no point in continuing because we know what's going to happen. I've done a fic where I used the game dialogue for the minor characters and sometimes for the main ones, but wherever possible I tried to expand on it or change it so it waa something more than a script. As for the main character's dialogue, I took ideas from the responses given, but I expanded on these as well and developed her character as my own, instead of just a light side, neutral, or dark side character, and I felt that it made the story a lot more involving. A lot of fics I've read following game or movie plots are often just the script with the occasional line of action in between which just makes it seem like we've heard it all before and you're not giving us anything new. Your fic isn't like that, but the script looks too familiar for it to be much more than a game follow-through, and I'd love for you to develop this more and create your own unique character instead of the ones the scripters thought up. This isn't a flame in case anyone takes it that way, it's just what I hope is some helpful advice from one write to another. I'll be looking out for this fic.

Oo. you must continue this one. I'm amazed how you managed to follow the game dialogues so closely but I'm glad you do. Makes the story feels alot more 'real'. Please post more soon.

Now that you mention it, it IS kinda creepy the way she hangs out in the morgue...

Anyways, still going good, keep it up

Good so far. You're sing the dialouge well

I've been looking forward to reading the first of the kotor 2 fics, and this one looks very good!

It would certainly seem that its a she dr. Evans. I think that because of her undergarment remarks.

I'm enjoying your take on this. I love the feelings you are putting into the Exile. Great work, keep it up.

I liked it so far. I like 1st POV, I'm a sucker for those...yet I write none. lol, keep up the good work.

This is good but haven't answered my question. I would like it to be answered if you don't mind.

Sounds good so far... I've just started the game - and my own fic - I look forward to reading more. Keep up the good work