Creepy monologue... Eh, what did I expect from Muraki... Arigato!

Well, even if you aren't, *I'm* very happy with the way this turned out. Very Muraki, and very, very good.

like it v. much - v. good Muraki thoughts. I'm not sure which bit you meant by the middle exactly, but it did seem to be in two halfs. But good halves, so hey...

i know how you feel about those symbols. i liked the poem. and of course, i like the story

I'm with you on the subject of QuickEdit, but that's beside the point.

The piece itself is good. I don't think it sounds forced so much as it goes on a little bit too long. The repetition of images and ideas, by the end, has made its point and is starting to blunt said point. It's not enough to ruin the piece, but it distracts a little bit. The beginning and ending are both strong though, and both the philosophy and psychology are very Muraki. It flows very well from one point to the next. I'd like to see what would happen if you cut...I'd say a quarter at absolute most...out of the middle. And while the poetry bracketing it is good (regardless of what you say), it doesn't actually add anything.

EEH! *loves this pairing*

...I KNOW! I hate this new Quick Edit crap...I miss the old when you could acually FIND STUFF YOU WANTED TO FREAKEN READ! Now...whenever I try to find a thing with the search in the Harry Potter section...I can't find a thing cause there's too many damn people. . They should have some type of test to be able to make an account, that they should.

Stupid quick edit...it won't let you do double slash or double ANYTHING. And no happy faces! v.v *cries*

_;; *ish sick and ranting* Good story, nanodaa! *offt*