I just read your story today because I had nothing else to do, so I went back and looked at some old stories that people wrote. I thought that it was an amazing story and I would like you to finish it since it came so far and then stopped. I think that it would only take another chapter to finish it and wrap up your thoughts. I love stories like these and I got really into it. Please finish it.

Raven's been keeping secrets again, with her life sliding out of control, will she find someone to hold onto? Ch.11 is UP!

This is beautifully written. Very moving. You're now my first favorite author. Wow.

What? (This is to the last line...) Okay, so somehow Robin, Raven, and BB are w/ X but Robin is in Raven's head while Id has her body, right? There's a lot going on in that chapter. Not to mention that Id stabbed Nova w/ a dagger and yet she seems fine. Hm...definatly interesting...need some more chapters though...

I loved the beginning of this story. But I got so confused during chapters 9 - 11 that I don't even understand the story anymore. Chapters 1 - 8 were well written and the storyline was good and detailed. No offence but I think you ruined it after chapter 8. Where is Raven? What's happening about the rape? I had loads of questions I wanted answered in the last few chapters. This is one of the best fan fictions i've read overall but if you are going to add to this story, please please please make it less confusing!

It's me, with more of my patented literary critique. The story is progressing well, but if I might say so, I think you're going just a little too fast. Not so much in terms of dialogue or actual plot progression, but in terms of setting each scene.

For example, this chapter really hit the ground running. Raven/Id is back to giving her monologue right away, but it only slowly becomes apparent that they're at X's home. Where is it, and how did they get there? What does it look like? The reader could be forgiven for thinking everyone is still in Raven's bedroom for the first half-page.

Similarly, there needs to be a more visible segue between things taking place in the real world, and things taking place in Raven's mind. This could range from a simple "Meanwhile, in Raven'd mind..." to something more descriptive. Show me the twisting purple sky in the world within Raven's head, tell me how the hallway Robin's in seems to run to infinity in all directions. Give me something "weird" to tip me off right away.

The triple-dash you sometimes use to mark the break between scenes is a good touch, and should be both more visible and more consistently used. Above all, don't leave the reader thinking "Okay, Robin's talking again. When did he wake up? Wait, he's talking to Nova. I guess that scene must have ended, and this is the next scene."

Anyway, I'm quite glad to see this story hasn't been abandoned. By all means, keep it up. Raven's gone bonkers, Id's holding the wheel, Robin's in her head, and I need to know who X is. Good times. But feel free to move the plot along more slowly, if that's what it takes to paint each scene in the reader's mind more clearly.

Its a realy good story, and realy, realy confusing. It looks like Raven is completely screwed, she doesn't seem to stand a chance here.

Gaspeth!

Took you long enough to update. Thanks for doing so, though. I am very proud of you.

Now, next chapter. I demand it now.

...

Or whenever...

You know, your choice.

Whoa, rather freaky Chapter. Poor BB, sure got the crap knocked out of him. Wonder what'll happen next? Update soon.

I still remember this! More!

okay that is really confusing, i know i sound really retarded but in the next chapter could you summerize it for me please?

This is a splendid story! Been waiting for you to update this! pleae update!

OH MY GOD,I LOVE YOU! WHATS WITH THE CLIFFY HELLO WERE WATING!(WHEN I SAY "WERE" I MEAN MY FREAKY FREANDS OUT THERE) SORRY I HAVE HORRABLE PACENTS...PLEASE TELL ME THERE IS A TWIST AND BB/REA GET TOGETHER! THE SUSPENCE IT BURNS! UPDATE SON LOTS"O"LOVE,

HAPPILI INSANE WHOE

K BY

Awesome story! But wait is BB dead? Because he can't be dead! He and Raven gotta end up togethers! BB/Rae forever! Luv you bunches! UPDATE PLeASE _

what's going on? was i supposed to read something before this?