I love the x-men and i love your story. It is really good. I can't keep reading it tonight but I will finish it. It is too good not to finish.

Yay! Excellent chapter, I'm so glad you've come back to it! I can tell from this that you've got an excellent plot laid out and I can't wait to see it. The Underground concept is intriguing, but a little confusing on what it has to do with mutants. Would that make Alex half mutant and half Underground-ese? That was the only problematic thing, the rest is perfect. You've got a flair for action sequences most writers would kill for. The only other thing to watch is a fault I myself tend to make in my stories: I come up with great things for the OCs and forget about the actual X-men. That's not a real issue right now, but just keep it in mind. Anyway, I really appreciate your putting this up! Keep up the great work!

E

Uh, don't know if you've noticed this, but you seem to have replaced chapters 1 and 2 with chapter 3. I just discovered this story(saw that it got a good review from J Harper, so I thought I'd give it a try), but I'd like to see the first chapters instead of diving midway through it. Just thought you should know.

WOW a princess that's one cool twist I wonder how she'll do meeting the rest of the team or if she even will. and i have a question for you is there going to be like any romance going on between Alex and another X-man if you do that will be cool if you don't I won't care so if oyu can tell me! Great Chapter! UPdate Soon!'

MImato-4eva

WOW I mean Wow this is awesome for a first fanfic! I like it alot, and on to the next chapter!

MImato-4eva

GOOD STORY KEEP WRITING

hey! I liked this chapter a lot more than the last one. Looks like it'll be a great story. Is Alex at all in the comics or did you make her up? I love doing that.

Frost is definetly up to something. Isn't she always? I'm subscribed to Astonishing X-men, one of the best things in the world is having comic books come right to your house.

Deathless is one of my other favorite stories. Jeremy Harper is a great writer. Have you read Paper Flowers by OldPrydeFan? It's another great Kitty/Peter fic.

looking forward to chapter 3!

Hey there.

You've been kind enough to give me multiple reviews of my stories, so now I'm happily returning the favor. I just hope I can give you something a bit more useful than 'attagirl'. Let's see what I can dredge up for C&C...

First off, I'm going to admit this is a pleasant surprise. I was a bit leery when I first noticed the low word count (in my experience not usually a good sign of quality) but when I actually read your first chapter saw almost right away that you have written an excellent prologue, setting up some intriguing questions for the reader. Who is this young woman (the eponymous Alex, perhaps)? Why are her ribs bandaged, and why is she on the move? How does she know of the X-Men, and who is the person who snuck up on her? All of these were very well presented, interesting from the opening paragraph, and succeeded in drawing me into the story with ease. Your spelling, grammar and composition are all excellent, which is quite refreshing. You have definite talent. I'm looking forward to the next chapters, which I hope will be longer.

Now, one or two pieces of advice: First, you probably shouldn't open a story with author's notes. Those can be distracting. If you have anything authorial to say to your readers, save them for the end of your chapter. Also, consider using line breaks (-) to mark transitions between scenes and notes. Quadruple spacing between scenes can also serve that purpose, but for some reason the FFNet formatting software doesn't seem to translate such large breaks.

Second, be careful with new characters. They can turn off readers real quick, if they seem to smack of Mary Sue. Try not to make any original characters to overwhelming or powerful in comparison to the original characters, and don't having them solving everyone’s' problems or saving the day all the time. It's not too difficult, on the surface, but fan fiction authors often be snarled up by OCs.

Lastly, you should always head each chapter with the title of your story, the chapter numeration and chapter title (if any) and a disclaimer. Disclaimers are very important, though neglected here on FFNet. Not only is it polite to the owners of the property, acknowledging their ownership, it also gives you a bit of legal protection by saying that you're writing this without permission and not for profit. True, the chances of getting sued are pretty slim, but better to have even a fig leaf of protection than none at all.

All in all, I enjoyed this prologue. You describe very well - I liked how your viewpoint character thought about the differences in weather between New York and San Diego, and the scene with her wind surfing with the dolphins was brief but nice. You also created good tension with her not being able to control her board towards the end and being fearful of crashing into the rocks. I'll be keeping an eye out for further, longer chapters. I hope they come quick, or else I'll have to send out Solovey Razboynik to 'encourage' you. ;) True, it'll cost me an arm and a leg to hire him (perhaps even literally - gulp) but it would be worth it. Quality fan fiction is something to be cherished.

Welcome to the Kiotr clique here at FFNet. Cheers and good writing!

Jeremy Harper

looks good so far. Can't wait to see how it turns out. Keep it up!