heyy! This is a good story so far. I like it...but I have a few critiques:

1) Mechanics could be beter. I see too many missed commas.

2) Kerri's a sue. I suggest you read "The Offical Mary Sue Manual" by TA Maxwell. You can find it on It will aid you into turning Kerri from a Sue to a good character. I'm using its suggestions wisely.

Well, continue please.

GG

Okay...let's see. I'm limited for time but I'm gonna give you some constructive critisim.

1. Most people are out of character. Let's take Braska for instance...he wouldn't just let a stranger stay at HIS house. And the way you describe it, it seems that they think she's (Kerri) is some type of theif or something.

2. Kerri is way to...she's a mary-sue.

Anyways, I encourage you to keep writting this...just change it alittle. I liked the plot though. So yes, I like your story. No, I'm not falming you. And I'll keep reading this...just for fun.

I would jsut like to respond the comment i got from "mourning bird" ok Cee Crowe is my best friend, I asked her to review and she was in lamest terms being an idiot, but i love her to death neway, she happens to enjoy the story, so there ya go ]~

Okay...I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that THAT was sarcasm. Either CeE Crow was being kinda mean(and at the same time she was being frank)or she was being sincere with her reveiw. Either way, I think this story needs a ton of work because everyone is OOC and this story line is way over-used. And your character is an overly perfect MARY-SUE! She's angsty and perfect and basically copies Tidus. *sigh* I suggest you just re-write or stop writing this story all together.

Okay...I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that THAT was sarcasm. Either CeE Crow was being kinda mean(and at the same time she was being frank)or she was being sincere with her reveiw. Either way, I think this story needs a ton of work because everyone is OOC and this story line is way over-used. And your character is an overly perfect MARY-SUE! She's angsty and perfect and basically copies Tidus. *sigh* I suggest you just re-write or stop writing this story all together.

I liked the start. I think you did very well on it but what do I know I have'nt wrote any fan fics yet. "Yet" is the keyword. .

wow this story is great! im anticipating the following chapters written by the story's brilliant author ..the story made me laugh, it made me cry. Its a story that provides you with a whirlwind of emotions. I could'nt keep my eyes off of the computer screen. I recommend this story to anyone and everyone. The story brings in all of the memorable characters from the Final Fantasy games, and it very clearly portrays the different personalities that each of the characters have. While it had its fantastical side, I also felt that I could relate to character and the way she percieves the world around her due to the author's use of vivid detail and realism. Being a veteran Final Fantasy game player, it was enjoyable to see all of the characters be brought together again in a whole new and exciting story. The writing is spectacularly creative and never ceases to catch you by surprise while the story twists and turns down unexpected roads. Its an adventure that keeps on giving. It tells us about a girl just trying to find her place in a new world. All in all I would have to say its one of the best fan fics I have ever read and I hope the author will contine to dazzle us with her writing skills with some more stories like this one.

wow i feel like such a loser .. no one reviewing my Fanfin [ ok i will not let this stifle my writing abilities! Never! so i will continue until i am done and then cry because everyone hates my story [ ::hides in corner watchin comp hoping someone reviews::