That was a lot more serious than the other two stories. Hmm.. though, not as scary as I thought it would be...

This was the first time she had ever experienced a toilet do anything but the standard flush it was suppose to, and for some, indescribable reason, it terrified her.

Donatello had not yet mastered plumbing.

Wow. That's funny! Okay, this was defiantly more funny than scary. LOL

Okay. I don't know if I find that more funny or scary. I really think it's almost funny... Heh, heh, *shudders* maybe not.

no, dont kill splinter!

You were right the first 2 were funny but this one is more Dark Good Job

Hoping to hear more stories

aw...

(cries)

poor splinter...

very well written chapter, i liked it a lot. and yes, it was more somber then the other two chapters.

Wow...Cool.

The bits of a young Mike and Don running into trouble, which can only be expected almost begs a a deeper more full telling. perhaps one day you will write that.

For now it suffices for the flashback that it is.

The last line gives so much depth and leaves things on such an angsty note. So glad i know the movie so well or I'd be begging you to continue.

Well done.

Sorry I missed when Chapter 2 went up. Well I'll get both 2&3 with this one review ok?

Chapter 2 definitely fell into the funny category. Chapter 3 definitely fell into the not funny category. I like the way you mixed it up.

The explanation of the toilet 'overflowing' was incredibly well done. Timing is just as important in writing as it is in spoken comedy, and you nailed it. :)

You got into Splinter's head really well too. Poor little Don and Mikey. Incredibly scary situation.

Only grammatical thing I noticed was a lack of apostrophes to signify possession. Splinter's instead of Splinters, and rats' is several rats owning something. Little stuff.

Once more, great story!

Ah, well, one can't help but laugh a bit with the previous 2 chapters. Yeah, I know you like to write serious stuff, but a little levity is all right now and then - even when it's unintentionally written.

This chapter, however, is not funny. I'm a parent my self, with adult children. I can't tell you how many times I worried about my kids when they were out of my line of sight. I lost my daughter for about 5 minutes in Mervyns one time - she was around 6 (now 21) - and I nearly went out of my mind. I kept calling for her over and over, almost hysterical...but she thought she was in trouble so she was afraid to say anything! I was so relieved when I found her. Wasn't anything that I did or didnt' do since I was a stickler for always knowing where my kids were at any given time. It was just one of those things that happens to the best of us! :0)

Either way, I totally relate to Splinter's fear depicted here in this chapter.

I do have a question, though, about his doubts concerning his own ability. Maybe it was a normal assumption that where he didn't conflict with any enemies until now, the thought would be that he might not have enough skill to ward of an attack. Given tbe fact that the movie showed he was subdued, would allude to that. Yet, at the end of the movie, he was able to thwart Shredder with only a simple move from a nunchuk. I would think if that were true, he wouldn't have much fear about thwarting any of Saki's minions. Hmm...it would be interesting to explore that battle scene in the lair just a bit.

As for a literary critique, you used began when begun would work better. Begun should have been used as is it is in the pasttense and that was how you were writing, Splinter thinking back to a previous time.

There might have been a minor punctuation mark omitted, too, but all in all this was a nice introspective look at the three 'horrors'.

Nicely done.

Be blessed.

Forgot to review this one...very cute. I love the last line where 'April ,always,always gets fully dressed first and ready to run before flushing (a toilet) one." ! Loved it and I can certainly relate. We have one in our house that you almost have to flush first before - er - cleaning up. Otherwise...it's just a pain in the rear, no pun intended. :0)

Well, now on to chapter 3!

Be blessed.

This IS funny...

Thanks for the e-mail haven't checked the story since yesterday.

Oh, ugh. I think I would be nervous of a toilet if one ever did that to me. Too bad Leo's warning came a tad too late.

The water definitley sounds unsanitary but then we are talking sewer water aren't we? The dead rat of course just finish everything off.

I think after this chapter I'll be very wary of over flowing toilets.

lol!

i hate when toilets do that...

LOL! LOL! This was hilarious though I actually could see a mutant cow and steer. The story would end up being like Charolette's web. The poor mutant cattle wouldn't be able to go anywhere. Since pretty much every restaurant we go to has some kind of cattle product. Still this was hilarious and I would also scream if a rat popped out of my toilet. When I was little I had nightmares about the bathtub drain eating me alive. I dont know where that came from but anyways. Keep writing.