Very confusing indeed. Do you even edit? Haven't read a story with such bad grammar (from a native speaker !) in a long time. Btw, demanding people to review every chapter and telling them you won't write more if they don't is very rude (and childish...) I'm surprised I read that many chapters. Telling revievers to fuck themselves? Dafuq? If you can't cope with critique, maybe you should stop posting. Or improve your writing. Because it really sucks. :)

You want a review so here it is. One, it is unreasonable to demand that people review every chapter. It makes you sound big headed and demanding. Two, I have read two chapters and am already done with this story. Two not very long chapters as well. This is poorly written and confusing. There is the review you requested.

I see what you mean by it being slightly too short, but the imagery was amazing. I think I drooled a little

Oh shit

That standoff though

...Jack

i got bored

Im still ocnfused

I didn't really understand most of the first chapter prologue thing. I get that will went to like a seduction master to get people to give his group what they want. but how did he gt to that point? i will read the rest of this unless i find a reason not to, in which case i will tell you why I wont read anymore

I like it. Just tinsy bit confused it seems that Will is very naughty lol.

How about I continue reading and NOT review every single fucking chapter?
Because I can :D

I absolutley loved this story, though I prefered the first ending more. Will got what was coming plus i kinda like sad endings sometimes more then happy ones.I love how you portrayed Jack! Finally someone who doesn't make him sound like an illiterate idoit who can't form a correct sentence. I also love your Will; thank you for making him a man and not a little sissy! I also love the ending because Jack finally stood up to Will! lol you're the reason i finally got around to creating an account! Just so i could tell you that you are an amazing writer and to ignore any other douche bags that say you're not! They're just jealous of your mad skill!

Personally I liked both endings and I'm not sure which I liked better! This story was very well written and I enjoyed it a lot!

If you were trying to make Will seem dark then you have failed dearly, all I see is an arrogant whore who is indeed one of the biggest gold-diggers of them all. It's amusing to read how hard you try to make him seem different when he acts just like a common whore. Disgusting

This is very nicely copied from Poison, a novel by Kathryn Harrison ...