Awesome

hey, the urls on your profile are gone, would you be so kind as to pm me the link for this chapter's full version?

I read this is don't know how long ago but this is great still

Its really this fix discontinued? Cuz I've started to like it a lot. Can't wait for the next chapter.

LOVE this story! I can't wait till next chapter! :) :)

OMG! It was so sweet! Sasuke's hidden feelings and Kakashi teasing Sasuke were my favorite moments. The story is great and I like how it was innocent and pure. I like how the ending has closure and it was also subtle. I wish there was more, like more feels or progress in their relationship. Also, how about a story focused more on Kakashi and Iruka ;)).

Ps. I like how Naruto has Godly cooking skills. :)) Sasuke would be dying to taste some of the cooking.

Honestly, I have never read fanfics due to its stigma among anime, manga, cartoons, comics, movies and video game fans. Most of ranters will sway the public that fanfics are only personal gratifications of very-obsessed fans. At first I somehow despise canon or crack shipping. But as a fan, I personally believe that every fan has a right to fulfill their desires by creatively express their personal ideas. Writing fanfics is one of the best way of showing off your love for your fandom.

In terms of writing style, the techniques are great. The scenarios are vividly illustrated through careful detailing. At least this series stayed loyal to its source. Another good thing about this fanfic series is that it gives us a very new perspective and narrative. I have never expected that each of the characters will have different thoughts compared to the original series.

Reading this made me want to listen to Kanashimi wo Yasashisa ni, Haruka Kanata and the like again.

I didn't expect to be reading a story almost a third of my age. With this story as old as it is, any comments I make about how it was written won't really matter much, because you would have improved quite a bit already. I mean, six years is a long time. That said, it might be best to focus on the content instead.

I see that this story, at its heart, is a "What if" fanfic, though the "What if" is beyond me at the moment. However, it suffered from the common sickness that this strain of stories do, which is the fact that the direction it's taking isn't very clear. Well, the romantic interactions, whether external or internal, are clear as day, but it feels less like reading a story and more like watching a wish being fulfilled. Then again, that's how most fanfics are, and I admit that I've enjoyed stories like that before, so I can't really say that it's a bad thing.

One more thing I've noticed is that a LOT of information is dropped. Of course, it's expected that people who even bother to read Fanfiction already familiar with the source material, and really, a little research would grant you all of these facts, but it still feels like there's a big hole in the metaphorical piece of paper on which the story was written with their absence.

I don't think I'll be able to get the mental image of Kakashi doing this out of my head soon, though:
"He slowly brought the said to his mouth and sucked on it, his stare never leaving the chuunin."
HAHAHA OH GOD KAKASHI

I don't really have much more to say, so I guess that's all for now.

hi ate! I just want to comment on how I love the way you make kakashi tease sasuke and making him act all tsundere. I am a fan of shounen-ai/ yaoi and you were able to trigger the fluffy feelings in me :D I don't read fanfics that much though.

I also love how you made KakaIru work well, especially the cake scene :" I want to see Kakashi's face too :

all in all, I like it :) -aliya

I don't read fanfics that much, especially yaoi, but I actually want to read more...
PLEASE CHIBI-SAMA, I NEED THE NEXT CHAPTER!

-ahem-

anyway, that was a good story... I didn't know that iruka and kakashi could be such a good couple, but now that that's covered, I hope that the next chapter focus on NaruSasu more... I personally vote for NaruSasu since they look like the perfect couple, and I think that it's what kishimoto wants deep inside too... Maybe if naruto isn't watched by kids, he would've added a yaoi theme too... lol

Concerning the other part of this chapter, I'm getting the feeling that sooner or later, there will be a scene where sakura has to face the truth that sasuke isn't interested in her... if ever it does happen, it'll be a very emotional scene, and I want to see how you would handle that...

That's all I want to say(I guess), unless I'm forgetting anything... either way, good job, and keep up the good work!
_

Sorry for the wall of text Ate Rach, but here goes my review from chaps 1-11 :)
I have not read a lot of fanfics to be honest. This would only be my second time doing so. It is also my first time reading a BL fanfic, so I really did not know what to expect. I am familiar with Naruto, but have not read the manga nor watched the anime to gain decent knowledge about the world and its events. At first, I felt that I was going to go through this story blind-folded with a feeling alienation. But what I felt as I continued to read was the opposite. The story was written with such detail that it created imagery which helped me gain a connection to what was happening. The imagery also changed as the point of view shifts from one character to the other. This helped me know what how different the characters are from one another and how they perceive and react to certain events.
I think that a rivalry is the best place to start when creating relationships, and the tension between Naruto and Sasuke were ripe to create this love-hate, more-than-just-friends relationship. I did not expect an Iruka x Kakashi coupling though, but I like it because why not? :) The presence of a clear and mature love was a good contrast to the young and still confused Sasuke. I enjoyed how Sasuke is tormented by his emotions which keep bubbling up because of Kakashi's provocation. The 9th Chapter was the height of this, and I could not help but laugh and be entertained by Sasuke’s “tsundere” moments. Please torment Sasuke more!
Some may say that the pacing is slow, but those who are patient are rewarded. I like how things are building-up between Sasuke and Naruto. This makes their relationship and emotions more believable and meaningful, as opposed to things escalating quickly. The build-up also created a lot more “tension” for me, and I think that this “tension” is what hooks the BL audience. I am interested to see what happens next. I look forward to how Sasuke’s will come to terms with his emotions. I hope you keep it up Ate Rachel, waiting for the next chapter! XD Be honest w/ yourself Sasuke haha!

Hey, just read your story and even though most of the fic is light-hearted(in my opinion) it still cuts deep into the heart :'( The amusing and funny moments when Sasuke is being jealous over such little things and Kakashi being slightly sadistic makes it fun to read and with the addition of 'dramatic' angst, it becomes a very fun but quite an insightful read :D Haku and Zabuza's story is heartbreaking(as always) and it really brings pain to the heart. Hope you update soon (even though this has not been updated for quite a while now :( ) and I hope to see more of the romance soon *wink *wink. Keep up the good work!

Damn straight! I'll be waiting for an update! Chiao!

(Straggles athur.) If I didn't know he ususally wakes up later from the episodes I'D KILL YOU, MOTHER BEEEEEPPPPPP!

(Chuckles evilly.) Ahhhhh, poor Sasuke-san!