Love this story. ;)

Great story!

It's actually C-3PO, not C3-PO. Just wanted to point that out. I like this story, although I think Owen should have objected a little more.

Sailor Earth

I read this awhile back and just realized that I never reviewed this story. I really enjoyed this AU. I thought it was quite imaginative and liked the interaction between Luke and the Lars', as well as with his twin. I found the part about them having the shared vision together and reaching for one another as they were being torn away especially touching; and tear jerking.

You definitely have a knack of making your characters come alive. They read like real people and you masterfully make the reader empathize with their various emotional states.

I thought too the first lesson between Luke and Leia was well contrived. I think it would make an interesting follow-up to read about their subsequent lessons into her Force training. Especially since their's wouldn't be the traditional Master-apprentice pairing and how their relationship as siblings would work around that.

As always, simply awesome. Hope you grace us with more of your works in that not too distant future

Nice job on this fic! O liked it.

This is a great story, even if, as you say yourself, you 'can't hold a plot'. Who cares? This is the kind of thing all of us like to see; great character interactions that never were, but should have been. I especially like your characterization of Beru; who knows what she might have been like if she'd had a larger part in the movies or any decent treatment in one of the books? But, as someone who was raised primarily by my grandmother, I can say that I can't imagine Luke turning out the way he did without a strong moral compass to point him in the right direction, and I can see Beru filling this role more readily than I can Owen. I just found this, BTW, in case you're wondering about the late review, and keep chugging 'em out; a lot of us here like your work.

Hey. Great story you got here. Also, thanks for reviewing and offering encouragement and constructive criticism on my story. :)

Fantastic. Well done. :)

This is a great story so far,except for one thing that really bothers me: Luke is OOC (he's acting the way he did in ANH, and this is post-ROTJ)

Yay! Wonderful ending!

Absolutely brilliant and well written...

~pharaoh

You're welcome. Oh, and have you heard of semicolons?

(Hint, hint. [amused smile] :)

Anyway, when you first said the ending would come in this chapter, I expected it to be "forced". It wasn't. Good, natural ending. (I think. ;) Fast, but not breakneck speed (as some stories are, to their detriment).

I've enjoyed the chatter, myself. I'll work to fix my e-mail. (In fact, when at the store my mom never knows if I'm talking to someone I know or a complete stranger.) I'm very wordy in person, actually. But writing gives me the time to organize my thoughts better, and I've figured out ways to shorten little unnecessary phrases and such which really help. I write in a "conversational style", meaning I have to go back and get rid of all the meaningless modifiers from my formal papers after I write them.

My school doesn't have a paper, though I might start one next year… This past year we had about forty students covering all grades. There were half a dozen highschoolers including my brother and myself.

Thanks for trying "I no longer have a name". (I don't capitalize it because it's a quote from the chapter "Leia".) I tried to make her sound so you could tell there was something eccentric about her before you find out that something. I hope you like it.

Keep writing! :) (Uh, I mean in general, since you're done with this story…)

P.S. This is completely uncut. In case you couldn't tell.

P.P.S. I was serious about working on about 13 in-progress stories, by the way. Most of them are original.

I should go find my seed beads before the woman I'm helping design & make the bridesmaids' gifts for gets here…

Okay, seriously, bye! —Misti :)

Well, sorry it's over...

My only complaint is that the whole viral thing feels somewhat contrived somehow-I know you can't have Dark Jedi hiding around every corner, that's a bit over-done as well, but there's just something about the viral thing that doesn't flow...

Otherwise, great story!

Yikes. Stress. Good way to increase your readership, hm…

I'm sure you're going to have a very good reason for all of this. Perhaps she's in shock from using the Force so consciously for once in her life?

(I still think I'm chatty, by the way. You should've seen my last review BEFORE I edited it. In fact, I don't think I'll cut this one to give you an idea…)

Two years ago, my teacher said I wrote so concisely she couldn't tell what I did; and this past year I struggled with generalities. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm on a pendulum of writing styles, right now…

One thing that confuses my friends is that I can have a dark-toned story, with humor in it that doesn't sound out of place! I don't know how I do it. —Oh, wait, I do… God does it! How stupid of me to forget…

Yes, you need to go into Barok's story. There's too much potential in that character to leave it hanging. But if you want a real challenge, try writing a story with a character with absolutely no potential—say, dead. That's what I did for "I no longer have a name." And she didn't even have a life full of adventure she could amuse the reader with—she died at 2!

My e-mail is currently not cooperating, but when I fix it I might take you up on that chat offer.

Keep this up! :)

(Sorry. I had too much sugar with lunch. I.e. a ripe peach.)

Arrgh! I hate cliffhangers.

This story just keeps getting better and better. Makes me wish that I had time to work on my own.

[achem!] (That's a chuckle/cough so I don't laugh & hurt my chest.)

I understand about the sense of humor. My family literally says I don't have one.

Okay, to tips:

1. "your" is the possessive. You need to use "you're", the contraction, for "you are".

2. You might want to read your chapter aloud & pay attention to commas. Is it a complete sentence on either side of the comma? Then use a semicolon, please.

3. When I use a foreign language where I don't mind the reader knowing what they're saying, I put the translation in brackets after the quote.

4. To me, at least, Barok's Force-sensitivity is rather obvious—& Jeboe'i's, after the little lightsaber tap. Is it supposed to be?

5. Since Barok & Jeboe'i are Force-sensitive, won't they notice Leia? Or are they just being polite and pretending not to notice?

I know that sounds like a lot… It's not, really. (Actually, I'm surprised I can offer tips on your actual story. Normally all I can see is the grammar. I'm guessing we might have similar writing styles, but I haven't paid close enough attention to your actual stylistic techniques to tell… & I think I'd need a bigger sample, anyway. Do you by any chance think in complex sentences?)

You think working on 3 stories at once is a lot? I'm currently working on something more like 13.

…Sorry. I let my chattiness come through on this review. If you mind, just say 'shutup'.

Keep writing! :)