Me again...slowly but surely catching back up. XD

Great grit and mood right off the bat...I love it.

Haha...'who can't find a drink hard enough to kill the day anywhere's else. They're the only ones that know about O'Beasley's... the really poor off, and the really hard up for a drink. So, of course, almost all us newsies knows about it.' This is fantastic. Love this line.

Like the dialogue with the accent. Very real.

Oh...the working for the sugar...nice mood...and I like the "and that's all I'm tellin' on that" bit. Nice.

Oh! Quite the picture you paint with Skitts and Race! Hm...I like it in its twistedness. XD

Wow...crazy dark, but so captivating, and well done.

O_o Oh! Race getting robbed blind! Not something you see...VERY nice. *nods*

Oh...and nice full-circle/association with Snitch and the dogs.

Excellent story, hon! XD

Crunchette, you never cease to amaze me. I read this with a frown and finished it with a half open mouth. I could hear the voices perfectly in my head, and.. wow. It's.. wow.

You are a god.

I love you.

You need to write more, damn it.

Gothic Author

...

Whoa. Just... whoa. Wow.

I am completely in awe of this. Seriously. This is... just... wow. It's good. It's REALLY good. It's better than good, but I can't think of a good word for "better than good."

I think that this is DEFINITELY your "triumphant" return, Crunchy-dear. *grin*

SO going on my favorites.

-Da Sita-

I like that. It's such a good portrait into life and it's not organized, which is just like a good story. It speaks like the mind of the character.

I approve.

*squeaks excitedly* Ooh, I love it! I LOVES the precious. *grins frighteningly* We wants it, yes we does. We wants *more*.

Um.

Yes.

I like it a lot; I usually *HATE* dialect with a burning, burning passion, especially outside of dialogue-but you use it brilliantly and painted a very nice tapestry here. (Yes. You painted a tapestry. It's all... Vivid and panoramic-view sized and... No, I'm not on drugs.)

Race kind of scares me in this. That's not very nice, what he did to Skittery... But very well done and very interesting. As I said, I want more. Quickly, if possible.

(Also, if this is slash, which it seems to be, you should go post it at the Refuge. *grin*)

wow, that story was awesome! I absolutely loved how the slash wasn't really illustrated on, but was deffinately there. And I loved how it showed the newsies as a not nice bunch, probably much more like they really were. ALSO, I loved how the preson telling the story was never revealed, so mysterious! yay! haha, so, anyways, this was not at all bad writing and you have my praise! which, isn't much, but i'd be proud of it! yay!

ok, so i must go back to my history class, where i'm supposed to be working on finals, oh boy! byebye now!

i would NOT call that bad writing. methinks that we are two peas in a pod, m'dear, we both tend to trash our own stuff lots.

the first thing that struck me about this was that it's sort of random, and sometimes the amount of abbreviations and apotrophes makes it hard to follow. the random part was resolved, however, because the whole thing is written in first person, and in that case jumping from subject to subject is fine. the creepy, slashy undertones are so, SO awesome.

all in all...i thought it was really brilliant. i love your one shots, because...i dunno, dammit, you're just GOOD. i love how you take the newsies and move them some place where no one has ever imagined them before...like in front of O'Beasley's. it's awesome. no one's ever thought of it before, but it works. congratulations, my friend.

and so ends my erratic review...peace...