I loved it! So hilarious... aww...

'I don't know any floating blue things, sorry.'

I am dead.
XDXDXDXDXDXDXD

No! Don't throw me out! Tammy will kill me! NO PLEASE! I DON'T WANT TO MEET BEATRICE!

But really though. When were you going to shut up?

-MJ

Finally! Tammy and I are celebrating. Also, she is demanding that you write about what happens in Hogwarts. Or else.
You might want to do that. Tammy does not say "or else" lightly.

I assure you it's not Hannah. Tammy told me, she's falling for N- no one. Absolutely no one.
I do hope you two manage to straighten this entire mess out.

Really? McGonagall?! She's about fifty!
No, I'm pretty sure he fancies YOU.
As much as your previous actions would cause me to not believe that.

That certainly wasn't something I was expecting him to say either. Even Tammy's listening now.

WHAT DID YOU DRINK?!
YOU'RE HALLUCINATING! WE BETTER GET YOU TO ST. MUNGO'S IMMEDIATELY!

How on earth you manage to get into these situations is completely beyond me.

You really do have bad karma. Although please don't fall in love with Professor Lupin. He's a swot, anyways.

Tammy and I are none of your concern. Although now that you ask, we are doing quite well together.
And it's karma, not kharmu, or whatever ludicrous name you've thought of. I can see why you would have bad karma though, after forcing your poor diary to put up with all of this girly wailing nonsense. You know, Hannah Abbot is much nicer to Tammy than you are to me.
Well, I have to go meet Tammy now.

P.S. (By Tammy) He HUGGED you?! After EVERYTHING?! He is doing a right terrible job!

You know, I really thought you were doomed.
And what do you mean I'm not special enough to dream about?! You literally tell me EVERYTHING!

You're doomed.
Very much so.
Honestly, where do you even get such bad luck?

I'm not really that evil, you know.

And I do talk!
(Your list of 101 Ways to Kill Yourself is absolutely ridiculous.)

Good job! Loved this story.

This was SO funny. You did a great job.