*o* Wow. Just the first chapter and I'm already addicted. So happy that there is a part two after these 25 chapters! .

This fic was disappointing to say the least. Firstly, I will say that you had/have an interesting plot and decent (sometimes great!) writing skills. You obviously know your way around a page. However, that's what made this fic so disappointing. You have the ability to write good fiction, and this story really fell short.

Chihiro is riddled with continuity issues. In one chapter a character attends school with Jou and in the next he doesn't. Or Jou's actions in a later chapter would contradict his actions in an earlier chapter, which led to him being characterized as borderline bi-polar. There is discontinuity in the quality of writing as well. The beginning chapters are written very well, while the last 15 or so are hit or miss. I actually thought your action scenes were pretty outstanding, but I felt the remainder of those chapters fell flat.

Jou completely changes after becoming a vampire, which I realize may have been a conscious decision considering his drastic physical changes. But, there was no mention as to whether or not his vampirism was causing drastic personality changes and whether or not that was a normal occurrence for fledglings. The most notable shift is how Jounouchi became a complete horn-dog after his change. I swear I read more about Jou's sex drive in the last half of the fic than I did about anything else. And I'm hard pressed to believe that Jou would have been so prudish and particular about who he slept with and then suddenly not give a damn if he lost his virginity to a stranger. Vampirism or not, that was a dramatic personality shift especially in relation to his absolute love of Kaiba.

It would have been far more believable if there had been a gradual change in Jounouchi's personality- if you'd really capitalized on his sexual frustrations as opposed to having him go from virgin to raging cock-slut in under a week. There was an awful lot of potential for expanding Jou's character in this way.

Kaiba was bland, to say the least, which I can understand considering the POV and the potential for a second part to this story. But, still doesn't make his lack of appeal any less noticeable.

I thought the sex scenes were pretty fundamentally un-sexy. They were inn accurate, considering that no one ever used lube. I do understand that Jou is a vampire and that the pain of dry penetration wouldn't affect him, but that doesn't mean that any of the humans he slept with wouldn't have considered it. Keith, having potentially slept with men prior to his encounter with Jou, would have had some sort of lubricant on hand or would have attempted to ease their coupling in some way. A human's ass would have ripped, and since he didn't know Jounouchi was a vampire, you'd think he wouldn't have just jammed it up there. The other scenes were a bit ridiculous because of the verbiage used, such as 'squirting' or 'starfish head'. I just found that to be silly and therefore couldn't take the scenes seriously.

But, honestly, I had a lot of difficulty taking the majority of this fic seriously. What with Jou's emotions being all over the place, Kaiba being unbelievably cold, and the quality of the writing sometimes aligning itself more with a comedy than a drama. I remember, in particular, Marik asking 'Is that a Millennium Rod in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?'. Considering there has been no mention of millennium items and barely a mention of Duel Monsters, I can't understand how that specific phrase was necessary. Any other euphemism for penis could have been used and the line would have been effective as a comedic counterpoint to a rather dramatic chapter.

The ending of the fic was rushed to say the least. Suddenly Jounouchi and Kaiba were together and we barely touch on their relationship after their first coupling. And, though I appreciate the reintroduction of the painting, I feel like it was an afterthought. It was just ignored for so long, despite being so important to Jou, that it's unrealistic that it hadn't crossed his mind for months.

This fic honestly has a lot of potential, and I think that with some rewriting and editing, it could be outstanding. But, as it exists now, it leaves a lot to be desired. I did supremely enjoy the first few chapters and I had been quite excited when this fic updated. I was even so enamored as to add it to my favorites. I just think you lost steam after a point. Still, good effort. Keep writing and keep improving.

It took me a few hours but I just read Chihiro: Part 1. First time I read it and I'm simply amazing and speechless. I usually don't like vampire fics but I didn't know that this was a vamprire fic till after I was hooked. I couldn't stop reading it. Now it is 3am and I have to write a paper for my class tomorrow. Damn. But no regrets. This was too good of a story to stop reading. I hope that the 2nd will be just as good. Who am I kidding? I know it will be this good! Well, I hope you update chihiro part 2 soon!

Finally I've finnished reading this! :D I'm so glad you managed to finnish it and didnt give on this great fic.

I think this is a great vampire story in it's own right as well as a great piece of fanfiction. Can't wait to read the next part of this, hoping you'll make it into a series.

Also Kudos on the plot twist at the very end when Jou buys his favourate painting I loved it.

Yours

The mad novelist

OMG And Part I is done! WOW! What a wonderful ride that was! Truly enjoyable and I can't wait until March~

Also, I have to admit that when Pegasus introduced himself I LOL-ed so freakin' hard! XD Good choice! I can totally see it! ... And I should have expected it! XD

Love your story. Good to see Pegasus again. Can't wait for Seto's reaction

Wonderful story. Simply wonderful. I'll be looking forward to Chihiro PartII!

Great end to the first part of Chihiro! I actually loved every bit in here. Jou's angst, Seto's care, their resolution, and Pegasus as the cliffhanger! Best of luck with everything!

Woah. Just wow. ... Have I told you yet that this is the ONLY vampire-universe fanfiction that I will read? XD You are just that amazing. 3

Oh, wow. No words. Jou killed Anzu and then had sex with Seto. All in all, I'd say a great chapter? Poor Jou, though. Having to see Anzu's memories... do not like Otogi at all. Who is the real villian of this fic? Why, it's Ogotgi, of course! Nevermind that Jou's vampire and has killed people. Breaking hearts is a worse crime than sucking the life outta someone. Of course, Jou is loosing his humanity... probably going to end up like Marik.

I guess I'm just sentimental, because I thought it was sweet that Jou's old friends(?) were concerned for him. Ok, Anzu could be a lying drama queen, but Jou's old life coming back to slap him in the face? And what Bakura just said at the end of the chapter? It was funny, maybe a little bit sad it has to come to that. All the killing Jou does is cool, but where the hell are the vampire hunters? Great chapter, fuck yah!

HOLY CRAP! ... I almost want to say that I'm going to be sad when/if Jou does kill Anzu, but that would be a lie. XD

Wonderful, wonderful chapter! I always look forward to your updates.

I always knew Jou was a hidden wonder. ;D

Also, AMAZING SEX. Yes. 8D

"There’s nothing quite so incredible as watching Seto climax. You think he’s beautiful just on his own, but when he’s naked and sweaty and in the middle of an orgasm, he’s a god." - Favorite description of Seto. Ever.

good chapter. can't imagine why Otogi looking for Jou

Oh good.

Kill the bitch ;)