O.O; Alice dying.

o.o; absolutely the most wonderful(!) description of Alice dying. That was great; I almost stopped breathing right along with her. (Not that that takes much... asthma!) but really I felt her fading away and then, surprise!

I like how you detailed her "dying" thoughts, going from her deep and abiding love for Yuri to her unaccepting jealousy over Margarete. That's a great dichotomy that I haven't seen stated in any other Shadow Hearts fic. People usually just write Alice as sweet and pliant. Not so pliant here!

One query: Halley's war cry? what? "I hate you! I hate you!" ? Hm.

And to the rescue: Koudelka! Yehaw! That was surprising (I'd forgotten about her) and the other companions. It was fun! It was delicious! It was... Koudy's got a mean streak! (Why you never piss off a witch, in technicolor!)

Seraphic: Ya know, everyone I've talked to, just like myself, always pictures SR as calm. Dunno why. You've just shown us that we're talking about a pissed off god possessed by an equally pissed off fusionist. All I can say is WOW! hardly seems adaquate.

Ack! You killed Maggie!

Ack! You brought her back!

Ack! forgot why I said that 3 times... oh yeah, the WAY you brought her back! Geeze louise talk about messing with the straight and narrow. I'm still getting my mind around the idea that, whatever Yuri feels Maggie feels, and vice versa. That's got to be horrid!

And you topped this whole thing off with a heart to heart between "our heroes". I really enjoyed that, and no, I didn't need a detailed account of what might or might not have happened. _

Overall a great chapter; surprises in more ways than one. It was also a lot better than I had anticipated. Glad I finally got to finish reading this.

Great story Random!

Sorry it's been decades since I last reviewed. Life etc.

I liked the dialogue between Margarete and Yuri: there is a sense of comaraderie there... right down to the “I’m… not that good at talking to the Big Man." I had forgotten how much I liked these two together.

And I loved your description of the contact between holy and hellish. The explosion and results was great!

And I'm glad you're still alive. _

I just read your entire story and I just want to say that it was magnificently done! The entire thing was very well written with only a couple of mess-ups in spelling that came from writing a real word but not the right one, like though instead of thought, which you did in one of the chapters ... can't remember which one... doesn't matter cuz your story is awesome!

What only two readers? WTF? That's so wrong! Sorry I wasn't here for you; I hadn't gotten hooked on the game... but I'm doubly hooked now! Thank God we have good writers like you!

I liked all the stuff about God in there, btw. Very well done one that.

Ah! You added Shadow Heart and seemed to explain the name! YAY FOR YOU!

I really, really like you. :D Keep writing!

I like it, though I secretly hate the idea of Yuri having any romantic feelings for Margarete. It's possible ofcourse since the game was pretty blunt about Margarete's feelings for Yuri. You did a great job writing the tension between the three. 'Course Yuri and Alice were the cannon couple in SH1..and sorta SH2, but this was a well written story. Nicely done!

When something's too much of a coincidence, you know it was meant to be. Shadow Hearts was one of my favorite games, even if it was condemned by the gaming community as bad. But I enjoyed it, the macabre feel to it. So when I saw this story, it was a nice surprise. And Random succeded in capturing that same darkish feel the game had, lined with a few rays of light in the couplings.

Heh, and if you want another coincidence, just as I finished reading this story, I just got my hands on Shadow Hearts Covenant. It just doesn't get any better than this. (but after working my butt off to get the good ending in the first game, I find the sequel takes up after the bad ending. gah! Oh well)

I'll give you one thing: You were honest with the title of the of the last chapter. That said, this isn't the bad framework of the story, but it fails to be anything great. Why?

Too many stretches of the suspension of disbelief is the main symptom. The Everblack bible just being exactly where it needed to be, Azrael's Tear in general, Koudelka's rescues, and so on all grate at it. Too mayn 'Why, isn't that handy and perfectly timed' events wrecked things. 'Tis a shame, as there are the bones of a fine story here waiting to be fleshed out.

On a final note, I'll readily admit I wrote this at 2 AM, so any idiotic mistakes or lacking clarifications can be chalked up to that.

*takes a deep breath* hehe, i was scared there for a minute. i thought he was going to leave! very well written story, the plot development went along very nicely. hope to see more work from you!

Okay, so you put Halley's mom in a fight. COOL! You don't find that often, that's why I liked it so much. Alas, I must depart. I will read this chapter one day. *sighs* Keep it up!

What can i say? u are a great writer but its only one thing that i hate...suspense! What has happened! Hurry up and write more!

Hello there. I'm still reading this as you can tell and I jsut got on this chapter. I love it so far. It's long... but I like stories that are long. More reading, but it goes deeper into detail. I love the way the you protraed Yuri. Priceless.

Ime happy and sad about the updating thing, afterall there is not menny shadow hearts fanfiction.

Bad Margarete. :(

Pretty! _ I hope Margarete won't try to come in-between Yuri and Alice though. .;

Sounds like a good start, I'm looking forward to reading the rest of the story. Only 10 more chapters to go. XD

Great fanfiction! Margarete did sound pretty b*tchy in your story though... could it be the necklace affecting her? Hmm... And don't sweat it if it takes you a while to complete a chapter. As long as you get it done eventually, you won't hear any complaints from me. _