"Wes was surprised when Jag actually laughed out loud, not just a quick laugh even, but rather clutching his sides funny. Then, Wes silently congratulated himself on being the funniest man alive to have accomplished such a feat."

I love your writing and have been binging it lately, but this scene is perfect. The fact that Jag is laughing at the irony and Wes takes it as he must be the funniest man alive, just (chef's kiss).

I learned to love Kyp Duron through this story. Beautifully written.

when are you going to publish "healing hearts" I would very much like to read it.

Only read chapter two by now but this is bound to be good :)

For clarity: The review for the last chapter was until the aforementioned sentence of Jag. And the review became to huge parts superflous at the end of the chapter.

-

"Jaina, you have to earn that trust too."

Jaina pulled away. "What do you mean?"

"I mean the visions you tried to hide from me. I can't go into a marriage if you can't share everything with me." Jaina could not hide her shock. "Yes, I figured them out, but before I could find a good time to talk to you…Well, you know what happened. Marriage means trust; trust means no secrets."

-

Therefore: The pie tasts bitter on the one hand, since I have been proven wrong by you, and sweet on the other hand, since I can continue to enjoy this story.

Now only add one or two scenes where Jag pulls off something great, and I'm completely happy with this.

I really tried to hold onto myself until the end of the story but this sentence from Jag put an end to it: "Hopefully, you haven't decided to dump me, based on my past performance."

Stupid, stupid Jag. Why don't you just shut up, and let Jaina do everything. Because she can do everything. While you accomplished in this story only to pick her up from Naboo until now.

I'm really disappointed that the whole issue of Jaina's pride/lager than life attitude ("Only I can do it." "The wieght of the whole universe lies on my shoulders." "Why should I give anybody even a hint why I have to go?") is completely dismissed or ignored.

If she can't trust anybody to relate her reasons for going to anybody - it doesn't have to be Jag; how about Luke or Wedge, who have clearly proven that they can make the tough calls of putting somebody close of them in danger - what does this tell you about her trust in over people?

Base line is: Jaina has no flaws (except for the ones, which make her funny or endearing like her temper) and Jag no backbone, because you laudably repeat the point that Jag is better in some areas (like piloting; I think you wrote that in the reception of the Chiss fleet), but it remains of no significance, since it has obviously no effect on the story itself ('...accomplished in this story only to pick her up...')

Add the fact of the force suggestion of Zekk, and I have to fear that during the following chapters Jag has to eat humble pie all the time, while Jaina herself is only the victim of the evil menace of Zekk.

AND Now comes the but: Your writing style is fresh and fast, the mixture of romance, drama and action fitting and you nicely switch between the different points of views. Therefore, I will continue to read this story until the end, and keep my ranting to myself.

I want to apologize if my words are too harsh, and I can imagine how I can be to get criticized for your writing, but I'm no friend of keeping it short, or to only point out the good things.

In addition: I want to be proven wrong by you with the continuation of the story. And if that happens, I will eat that humble pie instead of Jag.

With all the best wishes to your continuing writing,

Thot

The greatest star wars fanfic i've read...complete awesomeness!

Now that's the way NJO should have ended. Good story line and great writing. Thank you.

i was on the edge of my set during the battles...

This was a very good fanfic. Sad but good. Please write more

I absolutely loved this. It's possibly the best Star Wars fic I've read so far (I just started reading SW fiction, specifically Jaina-centric, a week or so ago and have since been on a mission to read everything I can find). I'm currently reading the sequel on

Thanks for writing!

Aw. gorgeous I like that there was a twist but things were still happy.

~Priya

Nice work. Little nasty having the kid blind, but if you had too...

Good to see people agree with me about getting Jaina and Jag together!

I see Mara's own experiance acted as a guide here...

I guess you wrote this before Ep3 right?

Great chapter. Sad but also true in life

I swear to god, if I were the editor for the Star Wars Galaxies Expanded Universe series, I would pick this book up right then and there. It's wonderful. It's past the limitations of "fanfiction" and should rightfully earn it's place amongst the published Star Wars continuations.

It's been fabulous dahling. )