My goodness.

This is so, so tragic and so very beautiful. It actually made me cry, especially Lugh's thoughts. Incidentally, I've always loved the name Lugh!

"I swear I'll never break anything again, he pleaded. Please, come back.

I will be a good boy, I promise.

Just come back."

...just wonderful. I love all of your stuff, really. Your cats are so full of personality, and your interpretation of Beruthiel is magnificent.

complete start to a comprehensive ending. Tragedy is right and you hit the nail right on the head. write moreHP please!

Nice choreography here. I like the way that it wasn't just "see strange man, see wand, die", which is a formula repeated all over the place. The fact that there was time for another person to pull over in a car and get out and defend her makes the scene vivid.

'The sun rose that day as it had done every day before...'

Which means that the reader immediately knows this WON'T be like every day before. I feel as though the foreshadowing is a little heavy here. It becomes very clear that something bad will happen; we don't need it spelt out.

'thinking that perhaps she should buy that skirt after all'

*smiles, enchanted by small details such as these*

Well-written, of course. I think this prologue is best in the parts where it is not overtly dramatic, although I do like the touch of typifying "the Old Wizard". It gives him a ceremonial significance. Beginning line strong.

oh.. *sniff* you made me cry.. you seriously me made me cry.. and that's really incredible if mere words can cause my eyes to water.. most heartbreaking part was Lugh's thoughts.. Was very happy when he got to see Claire before he breathed his last..

Gosh vengeful ghost! gonna kick herself some butt non?

Can't wait to read more!

More!

:)

RK

greetings!

pardon this late review, I was busy with exams :)

O, another HP story and well-written too I may add. Loved the way you write from a muggle's pov. A muggle with a name and a short look into her daily life gives her death more impact as the reader has been introduced to this person with a 'face' and not merely a '2D' character.

Very good

:)

RK

awesome story so far! love the idea, great start. poor lugh and poor claire. not what's gonna happen? keep on writing more and post more soon. i look forward to reading the next chapter! btw, i love the pic in your profile P

Oh, that made me cry.

I'm glad that Lugh got to see Claire before the end, and I'm glad that he stayed faithful (even if it is a "dog's" way). And I can see why this chapter would take on a life of their own.

I am surprised that a Muggle can become a ghost. I thought the only ghosts were witches and wizards, but perhaps that's just at Hogwarts. I wonder who Claire will blame more, the man who Oblivated her or the man who killed her.

I can't wait for the next chapter.

Wow. People are always telling me that my story has made them cry, but I couldn't really believe it. It didn't seem so sad to me...it was just make-believe, but I now know that that doesn't matter. This chapter just made me sob like a baby...do you have any idea how long it's been since any piece of writing has made me cry? Years! This was so lovely and so unfair and so sad. Now I'm afraid of what you're going to do next. Those wizards had better be afraid, too.

Wow. I've always thought the perception of cats not being devoted was just a negative stereotype- why am I not surprised that you think cats are as loyal as dogs? Very nice chapter, and I'm glad you're going to let Claire get her revenge.

O Werecat, your sad tale brought me to tears. I've grieved cats who passed, as many of us have mourned dear companions, but to think of a cat grieving a human - well, it wrings the heart.

Beautifully done! I hope your fictional Lugh finds the place of the tall green grass where the People play in the sun under the benevolent gaze of the Great Dam.

Blessed be,

Dame Niamh

Wow. Color me impressed. What an amazing story- highly original, but very plausible, given what the Ministry did in OP. This is fantastically written- the imagery is extremely vivid and you've managed to convey a lot of information and mystery in relatively few words. I wish I could write like this.

And of course the cat. I love the cat, whose dedication will throw a wrench in the best laid schemes of wizards and men.

Just a great story.

I thought Ministry Obliviators were supposed to be intelligent? Tina told him the cat belonged to Claire, yet he ignored that completely. Will Tina simply think it's hers if she didn't before? This is a depressing but probably accurate turn of events. How arrogant of the Wizarding world to think that they have the right to simply remove all traces of an innocent from this life simply because the unfortunate person came across the worst that Wizard kind has to offer. Interesting beginning.

Ah, didn't see there was another chapter.

These procedures sound more extreme than anything that ever appeared in the books, where just the Memory Charms are used. Is this going to be a story about the Ministry learning the error of their ways?

And good plan on leaving the cat as a loose end; the wizard could easily have assumed he belonged to Tina.

-Limyaael.

Hello, here I am!

Interesting tactic, to focus on a Muggle victim rather than wizard; I don't think I've seen that before. And the perceptions are what I would expect of a Muggle, who would have absolutely no idea that magic was causing her death.

A few suggestions:

-Would the wizard world use the term "crossfire?" It seems to me largely associated with guns.

-Why are the Dark wizards launching attacks in a random Muggle neighborhood? Do Muggle-born witches and wizards live nearby? Voldemort seems the type who wouldn't simply do random attacks unless he was already crazy-drunk on power.

(By the way, thank you for your beautiful reviews on 'The Game of the Gods.' I'm glad you're enjoying it).

-Limyaael.