Really love , love , love this story. I wish you would come out with chapter 2.

Some of your sentences in this didn't make sense, but if I had to guess, it would be from lack of proof reads, and I'm really confused as to the lack of quotation marks from here to the last part (and in Hercule's review special as well). It's still a great story though.

Wow! This story is great, I hope you come back for chapter 2!

This is a really great story! I loved it!
Please continue to chapter 2

This is a great story so far. I have enjoyed the roller coaster that this story has brought, though I wish you would have used quotations. Pain in the rear to try and work out what is what.

I hope that you pick it back up again some time soon.

While not very important, here is a bit of information to keep in mind next time you try and write a dramatic scene.

You say, "She saw the muzzle flash, igniting the powder within the bullet, causing the sharp point of the ammunition to drive forward, moving faster than the naked eye." And shortly after that, you say, "The bullet still hadn't left the chamber."

Muzzle flash is not something that ignites power within a cartridge (which is the casing, bullet, powder, and primer in each round fired). Muzzle flash is the small amount of the explosion that follows the bullet out of the muzzle when a round is fired. The muzzle is the end of the barrel from which the bullet exits. The muzzle flash does not CAUSE the bullet the power to ignite as your story says. The explosion of the powder is what causes the muzzle flash. The only way you can see a muzzle flash is if the bullet has already left the barrel and it is heading towards its target.

If you are going to write a dramatic scene in which you observe every detail, make sure you have the facts straight.

I think this story is amazing and I hope it's going to be continued. It's to good to be forgotten ;)

I love this story! i am still waiting for chapter two.

hahaha

(please?)

Excellent Story!

This is an excellent story, but when is it continuing you say March 1st but it is a lot later now. Excellent story and i just can't wait for the rest of it.

Well, you finally got to putting out Videl's past (and just *who* helped you with that tidbit, hm?). Anyway, I know I owe a bunch of reviews for all those chapters (and probably owe you some pre-reads) but cut me some slack for, um, slacking off.
Now, I honestly have no idea where this is going from here on since I've been nicely left out of the loop by 3 certain people, so I guess I'll have to wait like the rest, eh? Just smoc-ing wonderful.
But I'm glad you're throwing out chapters to make up for the rest of the quartet so I won't complain much. But know that I'm now back in action! HAH!
Mike, Sage, Fred... Ann has returned. Ph3ar me.
Supreme Matriarch of Cliffhangers,
Ann

realy like it like gohan atitude its realy differint ya know,kinda angsty...

chatper, was good cant wait for the next, keep up the good work, byes

"Finally, thanks to my pre-readers sage and PsYChO for a job well done. I couldn't have done it without your help and input."
What the hell? That's it? 'Thanks'? That sorry excuse of a tactfully administered red-herring won't acquiesce any nullification of arrears from me...where the hell is my money? There are much more imaginative ways to get out of paying someone their dues than saying 'thanks', immediately followed by 'sayanora'. Pre-reads don't come free, you disillusioned American. Just because your country can beat the living daylights out of anyone doesn't mean you can screw us out of our hard-earned money, and if on the off chance that it does...well, don't you have any morals! Any decency?
I dunno 'bout Court, but I'm expecting my money order! I don't care if it costs more to send one to Canada...see, over here, our dogsled mail service is much more reliable than your obese, impregnating-domestic-housewives mailmen...
Gotta jet
Lataz
So...money, please. I need to give my bike an oil change...so have mercy! Not on me, the bike! It's been going without oil for days now! Thing of the gears! OH GOOD GOD! THE GEARS!

Bah - "The Thirteenth Step".
You fucking unoriginal bastard.
Umm... I hope that's not misplaced. And it's not like I'm any better - check out my chapters.
Well, Fred, what is there to say, besides another job well done? I like the direction you're taking this in, as well as your interpretation of Gohan, mainly. At least you're not making him a sniveling coward under Videl's uber-cliched Chi Chi-ness, which, dammit, ist GANZ bloed...
So, what of that Lateralus trio concept? I can't remember if that's "Ides" or not, but I don't believe you told me what you would call it.
- Nick
resident layer down of the white-ass funk, otherwise known as the minimally talented bassist from the "hick southwest", in the words of the resident Canadan (intentional misspelling) named Mike