That was fantastic. I agree you would never have thought of trenches in a wizard's war, but I think that's why it stands out, why it works so well; it's so different. I love the way you've made James seem young and yet so hard... you can really tell he's been through a lot already.
I now feel thoroughly ashamed of myself for writing unoriginal fluff.

Hmm...no, I didn't think the trenches were too believable either, but the story was incredibly well written. Just for that I'll forgive the totally out of place plotline. ~_~ For some reason I've never quite discovered, I gravitate towards war stories. But I never thought I'd find a one-shot that's this well done in the Harry Potter fandom. Seriously, this would've been a killer original piece.

James was brilliantly characterized, brilliantly portrayed. The dialogue was crude, but it was pithy, too: "...It's not a compliment. Sharp ones blunt faster" was probably one of the most pithy of those lines, in my opinion. I'll reserve judgment on whether or not that's true because a line like that is pretty open to interpretation, but in this context and the aura you gave us, it's an excellent piece of dialogue. I appreciate that muchly. :)

Also, the idea of morals-how James didn't kill his opponent when everything about war demanded that he do so-was great. I've seen a lot of really trite takeoffs on that, but this one wasn't. You didn't overload us with angst-instead you gave us a clear picture of how James perceived his surroundings. The only objection I have is the fact that it's a fanfiction. EGAD. This should've been an original one-shot or something-you could've won first prize in a writing contest! This was powerful, witty, well-written, edgy, and totally convincing-but it was a FANFICTION! Gah. You're killing me.

Ah. Sorry. I'm having this problem with my own fanfic, and it's driving me crazy. I keep thinking about how great it would be if I'd gotten roped into writing an original story instead of a fanfiction, and whenever I see something like this, my neurotic heart starts to bleed. Seriously, you're an amazing writer, and I think you'd have a pretty good shot at getting an original piece published.

So keep going, eh? I'm adding you to my favorites list. ;) Later.

Jenna

Brilliant. Bloody brilliant.

You know what this piece reminded me of? The Vietnam War. Oh, I wasn't alive then. My parents weren't even MARRIED then. But my mom told me things. There was a pilot she knew, who couldn't even TALK about Vietnam. He said he still had NIGHTMARES. And the ditches? Sure, not entirely what you would expect, but what do you expect in war? NOTHING. But what I really enjoyed, was James. I think it would be true, that you would begin to lose your mind. I think that I could, and would, and knowing that made this story so believable. I thin kthe trenches added a nice affect, and while I think Zetta has a point, that muggles would notice, don't you think they did anyway?

I think that even though you prefer not to write this sort of story, you undeniably could pull it off. This was an excellent piece of writing, and I think all of the ideas that James is turning over in his head are brilliant. It shows that he's not all-knowing, and that's something we all are, and that he's still figuring out what innocence is, and what it is to have revenge. I like that. He's only nineteen, and he's thinking about that. Some people can't, or won't think about things like this. I think seeing it for him made him consider it, and I think that's wonderful. Thank you, very much for giving me such thought.

Later,

SM

You really are good at this, you should take up writing someday, that was a great story, you really hit everything in just that one chapter, love your style, I mean it, try some real writing

well done

Really well done, I love the tightrope analogy.

I definitely liked this bit. It gave a different spin on the war, I guess I've always imagined a wizarding war to be with the wands, and sparks and cloaks and darkness. But in the end, it's all the same isn't it? The loss of life, of innocence, of heart. For some reason, this particular ficlet reminded me of 'All Quiet on the Western Front', I think I've read/watched/written about that movie/book enough times, but it still gets to me.

The mood was definitely not light-hearteded, but I think more introspective than anything..er..if that made sense *_*.

Great use of bringing in a character of 'The House of Wolves', so is he's still not dead yet? [I've meant to review that last chapter for the *longest* time..I'll get to it eventually, I promise], but the idea that James' hands were stained with blood because he'd had to use actual force was both kind of disturbing and yet crucial to the story.

I really don't think I'm making sense here (it's been a long day), but in a nutshell, excellent piece and I'm looking forward to reading your newest work _.

~Skye

I know that,” Knox said simply. “You think I’m out of the loop? I know what Dumbledore’s planning, and frankly I don’t think you’re going to cut it.”

“No, you don’t,” James said, getting up and shrugging the blanket off. “That’s exactly why I’m going to cut it.”

Interesting little story.

You're right- I had a hard time with the trenches. I can't imagine it would be easy for Muggles to ignore a real war like that, complete with trenches, and there are only so many times you can use a Memory Charm before someone slips away- I think that's probably why it's so hard to see trenches. It's too obviouos a sign of war.

I wish you'd gone into a bit more detail on how he got involved in such a famous unit- since he's so young, wouldn't it have made sense to send him to one of the other battalions to get him training?

You do a good job with his thinking.

Also, this line was good:

James wasn’t quite sure what to think then, so he thought nothing.

i have too imagine that in his situation there would be a lot of occasions like that.

Knox was interesting, but a little too talkative... I liked James's thoughts more than the conversation between them.

I do like this story though- a bit angsty, which is just the way i like it.

Anyway- I can't wait to read the next story, so please feel free to hurry up with it. :o)

Wow...that was REALLY RREALLY good!

~Courtney~

Nice way of putting it up. It could've with a little bit more spacing. Continue!