Wow you wrote this without remembering key details. His mom used something akin to a blood magic or ritualistic magic not charms. Also after Voldemort used Harry’s blood to recreate a body the protections Harry’s mom made no longer did anything. So this is probably going to get progressively more annoying.

This has been an incredible read thus far. You have some good talent here. As an author who’s struggling beyond belief with writers block and life problems myself. I know how hard it is to pick something back up. But I hope you continue this one day, it’s truly a great story.

JD

This is a really good chapter.

This has been a very good story and I was hoping it would have a conclusion when I started I guess I was wrong . It was a good story even though I felt it needed a bit more.

a ood idea but why did tonks not apperate her self and harry once they got out. it seamed to be a long trip and risking life for nothing. also it does not get that cold in England in the summer even at night temps will be at the very lowest 10 and that is a really bad night. also she is an aura and trying to mount a broom is not hard and even tonks can do that without droppening it out the window.

You need to make Harry more assertive. In any story I read about any of the slytherins becoming a main character, Harry is always forced to reveal things and I am tired of it. Have him put his foot down and tell people to sod off. Blaise is acting like she needs to know everything that is going on and its annoying as fuck how shes getting it.

Wait... Is Blaise a girl in this?
I'm pretty sure he's male.
wiki/Blaise_Zabini

The first chapter was ok, but now the second... It's terrible! I mean, it's like five thousands words to decide if I jump or not... Several times!

I hope gets better in the next.

A couple fragmented sentences, but not bad on the story. Harry is kind of a pussy though. In Goblet of Fire Voldemort used Crucio on him twice then they dueled and that was after the whole third task. This story he is always running and we are supposed to believe the torture curse from one of Voldemorts flunkies hurts more than one from Snakeface himself? In cannon he was tore up from his godfathers death and would have welcomed the fight. What happened here? He could have used the doorways to funnel them and made quick work of them. A Confringo, a couple Reductors, maybe a Sectrumsempra and Bobs you're uncle, half a dozen less Deatheaters. Also 12 Grimmauld palace is under the fidelius, again what happened?

Very good story and I wanted to wait till I read clear through it to review. I really like how you took the story and made it your own. You didn't make Harry overtly powerful but gave him his natural ability to learn magic quickly and with more power than anyone else normally uses. The relationship with Tonks that has grown throughout the story is great and the other characters are also well written. The story is fun to read and flows very well. I hope you get back to it soon as you have left it hanging precariously on a razors edge. Will look forward to more.

It's amazingly well written, but you wrote Harry as such a fucking pussy. He's 16, not 10. He's acting like he's never been in a fight with death eaters before, when he's done it multiple times up to this point. He seems like he knows way less magic than he should after running the DA for a year. Also he's way too tentative and unsure of himself even compared to cannon and, he's a hell of a lot tougher than you portray him considering what all he's been through. Except for that, you are a very talented writer, fantastic descriptions, I could see it in my minds eye perfectly; which is rare, considering most story's on this site.

I don't know about you but I would be severely pissed if I was locked into a room like that.

how can he see you said he lost his glasses last chapter...

Good start! Where's the rest?

"Harry felt loss, even though they'd tried to hurt him they were still human and deserved better than death."

1) hurt, HURT? Casting the AK killing curse is trying "to hurt" ?

2) "Harry felt loss...they were still human and deserved better than death..."

No, they deserve worse than death, they are freaken death eaters.

So freaken silly, another fanfic with guilty conscience Harry-the-boy-turn-the-other-cheek-kiss-your-enemies-ass-aka-Jesus-freaken-Christ-Potter.

Reminds me of so many, like fanfics with graphic thru-the-scar visions with Harry tormented seeing children under imperious made to torture and murder their parents, brothers to rape their little sisters, and put under the crucio and tortured with various mutilating, nasty curses. Beautiful innocent ittle girls wetting their nighties moments before being murdered by death eaters who are in ecstasy ENJOYING the torture and murderous slaughter. Then later in the same fiction we will get the drivel where Harry feels SO GUILTY to "hurt" death eaters with some spell that causes some physical damage. Good freaken grief, what an abomination. Well, numerous flaws, and problems, plot and continuity holes ETC. But this example one of the WORST of many SHORT comings so far in this fanfic.