Hmm... Not the happiest of endings, is it? Still, it's not the saddest of endings, and it's very true. Amazing poem. Reflects Shadow very well.

*claps enthusiastically*

Congrats. You got me to click on your story and read it when i saw it. You're doing better than more than half the writers who write Sonic fanfiction just at this point.

Now for the story. I do LOVE the idea of writing it in poetic form. It's something i haven't quite seen before, and you do it quite well.

However, there can always be improvement.

When I see poetry like this, i think "they've got the right idea..." and with this one in particular, you've definately got a great idea here. However, i think this poetry is lacking in an element that is, in my opinion, quite important to the aspect of poetry.

It should be short and sweet.

Not the entire poem itself, but the words. The longer it takes the reader to read, the harder it is to pull up the images and emotions that you're trying to give them. Verbosity is one of the biggest pitfalls in poetry, i think. There are quite a few places where you could shorten up a verse here or there, keep the meaning, but give it a bit more ability to sink in.

For example, this line near the end of the poem:

"... I turn backwards, to head to my..."

In this case, backwards is the only two-syllable word in the sentence. It makes the reader look at it more, not only because it's different, but because they HAVE to, because it's before a comma. In my opinion, those extra 5 letters on the end of "back" are quite unnecessary. Short and sweet.

Another word stood out, near the middle of the poem.

Synonymous.

4 Syllables. I cringed, personally. I like it when words are short, readers don't have to take as long to read them. In my opinion, i would much rather replace that one word with two shorter ones "the same" to convey the same idea in fewer sounds.

Now, again... I'm being quite nitpicky here. Your story was awesome. It lends to the character a side nobody sees at all, a quiet thoughtful side that i think everyone knows, or wishes, is there. I'd definately like to see more of this, because you have talent here. Just keep working.

~Solis Knight

So simple. So philisophical. So poetic and poignant. I still am moved by this story. I love the fascinating way you provided these contrasts and how they related to Shadow's life. This inspired a story of my own. This was delightful and moving. Wonderful story, Ryuko...

~N.R.

*sniff* I love it! I should make one like this! This is really good, it really shows Shadow's character! Keep it up!

(sniff*)emotional...beautiful...me sad(sniff*)

O.o there is nothing i can say for this, really my mind is blank

;_; Beautiful

...I don't know what to say, I read thet outloud and it was really nice. I want to ask Shadow if he likes this, but I know I can't. But I know he would like this.

Wonderful angst just wonderful angst. I did/am doing/not really an angst fic about... the same person based on this one...but the concept is basically dumb, and I started in the middle and didn't finish yet...-.- yeah, I could nunca compare to your angst! Keep writing! Ja ne! -Pet Isis

cool, I like this

Real thoughts of a tormented black hedgehog...very well done! Shadow's left to wander and choose to either succomb or conquer his angst. Cool!

Wow... very nice, I love it. I always love well-written stories... especially if they involve Shadow! Keep writing! _

oh, awesome! i think thats Shadow, right? i think it is! - this poem is so sad, though, but it's great! _~