I FINALLY GOT TO THIS CHAPTER ZACH. I'M HERE LOL. Ive feel like I have been beginning all of my reviews this week like this. I've been so far behind with everything lol. Well I absolutely wish I read this sooner it's is so good! Once again I'm astounded by your ability to worldbuild. By the end of every chapter I always feel like I fully understand the vibe and operations of the district. This chapter is a perfect example of that, the bit with a quarry being used as the stadium is super cool

Alex- Definitely my favorite of the two, he certainly is a chaotic one isn't he... I was like oh here we go again during the training sequence as I thought it was gonna be like a typical career. then he mentioned fire and instantly became a lot more interested. So I assume he's gonna be this chaotic, quirky, confident career with a tendency towards fire... Abosletly perfect. I can't wait to see the way he interacts with the other tribs. He's also such a bro which I love.

Mel- I like her! She's very confident but has that vulnerable side to her with her impossible mother and sister. If I was in her position I would lose my mind. I can't even imagine being so invalidated. Sorry girl! Good luck in the games haha!

The mentors-I love you included enobaria. Such an iconic but small character in the books. I'm excited to see her back. I'm excited to see how her and Hercules continue to train the tributes. It's really interesting seeing mentor perspective on the tributes, I always enjoy it.

Mine: Cicero
Love: Narancia, Algernon,
Like: Loc, Alexis
Nuetral: Arelio, Lara, Roman, Deimos
Dislike: Petal

Ahh I was so excited to read this chapter (mainly because it was my own tribute)! The Grading was an interesting aspect of the Career Academy, and I was fascinated by how the mentors selected their own tributes.

As for constructive feedback, I think the writing and grammar were great. My only suggestion for improvement would be to begin a new paragraph when a new person speaks. I mainly noticed it during Hercules' POV, when Mel was introducing herself and Neilos was greeting her. Instead of having them speak in the same paragraph, separating the dialogue makes it easier to understand that someone new is speaking.

As for my impressions about the tributes . . .

Alexis: I found him to be a very unique person, not at all like someone I would expect to hail from District Two. His humorous disposition was refreshing, even if his jokes occasionally made me cringe. I'm also curious to know more about how he became an orphan. With his interest in fire and his comment about how his house burned down, I'm wondering if HE unintentionally killed his parents by setting their house on fire. I feel like there's a lot I want to know about his character, and I can't wait to read more about him.

Mel: I absolutely love how you captured my tribute! With the pressure of victors/mentors watching her, I was glad that you portrayed her tendency to "people please." She definitely seems to be in a very upbeat mood, and I am curious to see if it lasts or if something happens that ruins it. Either way, I can't wait to see what you do with her!

Mine: Mel (D2F)
Love: Loc (D6F)
Like: Alexis (D2M), Narancia (D8F), Serenity (D9F), Arelio (D10M), Deimos (D11M)
Neutral: Roman (D6M), Algernon (D8M)
Dislike:
Hate: Petal (D11F)
Love to Hate:

Wow. Both Mel really has a tough home life. She gonna be fighting with an extra chip on her shoulder, not doubt about that. I like her. I def got a feeling the Alexis is gonna make a mistake in the games due to his obsession with fire. It seems too difficult to control and he might be a loose cannon. Great read once again!

Similar to District 9, I really like how this chapter focused on a single tribute. Although it can't happen for the districts that have two submitted characters, I do find myself better judging the characters by themselves than comparing them to their district partner.

Arelio: Right from the start, I really appreciated how he is bilingual. In some stories I read, when a character switches from one language to another, it can seem unnecessary at times. (Like a superficial way to portray that someone is Spanish, Italian, etc.) However, I thought it worked well in this story. The switching of languages seemed relatively natural. I also noticed that this story has a ton of LGBTQ characters, which I absolutely love! His feisty nature also caught my attention, and I think he could have a really interesting character arc throughout the Games.

Love: Loc (D6F)
Like: Narancia (D8F), Serenity (D9F), Arelio (D10M), Deimos (D11M)
Neutral: Roman (D6M), Algernon (D8M)
Dislike:
Hate: Petal (D11F)
Love to Hate:

This was a great chapter! Since District 9 was the least mentioned in the books, I love seeing how different writers choose to portray this district.

Serenity: Serenity's gambling struck me as a really interesting facet of her character. Furthermore, her name really seemed to align with her personality. While her family was in tears, she was able to maintain a calming composure. Although I sometimes find this cliche, I was not at all upset about it. I'm excited to see her character grow!

Love: Loc (D6F)
Like: Narancia (D8F), Serenity (D9F), Deimos (D11M)
Neutral: Roman (D6M), Algernon (D8M)
Dislike:
Hate: Petal (D11F)
Love to Hate:

I really like that you develop all the mentors and escorts equally which is awesome

Alexis: You got my tributes sarcasm across really well thankyou! I'm guessing we will see more of his backstory later.

Mel: Mel's whole thing seems to be trying to outdo her sister. She seems like the complete opposite to Alexis so they should balance each other out well.

I know it might seem repetitive writing the reapings but I'm not bored at all, infact I'm enjoying every single one!

Mine: Alexis (D2 male)
Love: Deimos (D11 male)
Like a lot: Loc (D6 female)
Like: Narancia (D8 female), Roman (D6 male), Serenity (D9 female)
Undecided: Petel (D11 female), Arelio (D10 male), Mel (D2 female)
Not a big fan: Algernon (D8 male)
Dislike:
Hate:

In all honesty, I don't know how I feel about this chapter. Your writing was amazing, but the characters were so different that my emotions were constantly swung towards positive ones (Deimos) and negative ones (Petal).

Petal: I think Petal would be a more interesting character with some explanation about her viewpoints. Did something happen to her as an orphan? Why does she despise the mayor? I understand that people might just be naturally bitter, but for her, I think there's something more to it. As of right now, though, I do not like her.

Deimos: I absolutely love how his entire family seems to be named after moons and star constellations (Deimos, Phobos, Aries). How, what made me really like him was his fascination for art. With the higher-numbered districts, the tributes tend to be more somber with depressing backstories. He stuck out to me for not fitting into that stereotype.

Love: Loc (D6F)
Like: Narancia (D8F), Deimos (D11M)
Neutral: Roman (D6M), Algernon (D8M)
Dislike:
Hate: Petal (D11F)
Love to Hate:

Great chapter! I really appreciate that we get multiple point of views from the tributes with additional point of views from the escort and victor. It creates a fuller view of the world that you're creating!

Loc: From the first sentence of her first point of view, I was intrigued. She fights in a place called The Pit? That's iconic! Although we've only seen two tributes before this, I think she could be a huge non-Career threat in the arena. Furthermore, I found her Justice Building interactions with her mother and friends both touching and funny. (Like, her mother tried to comfort her and she just said "cool." Freakin' hilarious.)

Roman: I found his character to be intriguing. He does drug runs for his drug-addicted aunt, he has a solid friend group, and his parents decided to show up at the Justice Building. It leaves so many questions, and I think it'll be interesting to see over time what his parents talked to him about. Nevertheless, I feel like his character was less remarkable than Loc, so I don't have a solid opinion about him until I read more.

Love: Loc (D6F)
Like: Narancia (D8F)
Neutral: Roman (D6M), Algernon (D8M)
Dislike:
Hate:
Love to Hate:

Because I have been busy this last month, I'm going to be catching up on all the reapings rn. Starting off with this incredible chapter.

Narancia and Algernon are both interesting characters on their own. Narancia has such an amazing relationship with her dads, and her politeness with Tecida spoke volumes. Meanwhile, Algernon struck a conflicting chord in me. On one hand, he was undeniably interested, even with his character flaws. On the other, his general rude thoughts (towards both Narancia and Kalik) and his borderline arrogance irritated me. I'm not sure how I feel about him quite yet.

I also am incredibly happy that the two tributes are connected to one another. Especially since the two of them are in the fashion industry and working for the same person, I'm excited to see how their relationship grows. Will this life-or-death situation make them understand one another more? Will this just fuel their rivalry? I can't wait to find out!

Love:
Like: Narancia (D8F)
Neutral: Algernon (D8M)
Dislike:
Hate:
Love to Hate:

Arelio: OOOH this is an angsty boi for sure! I also love that you're incorporating Latino culture and just diverse culture in general into this story. I wonder what will happen with this dude for sure.

ALSO! Zach i am NOT disgusted by your writing! You are doing such an amazing job and I'm so so so proud of you! Keep up the spectacular work

Loc: First of all, I absolutely adore the name for some reason, and she seems like a really cool gal, even though she's had a horrible life so far. Unfortunately the Games won't make things much better. Poor baby.
Roman:Maybe it's Xan corrupting me, but District 6 males suddenly are all really cool (probs because he was just THE WORST) so I really like Roman even though he's a bit of a bad boy.

Again, this is all really solid stuff, especially for a first SYOT. The only thing I'd work on is maybe less dialogue. I was guilty of this at the beginning too, but I find showing characters thoughts goes a long way, though I absolutely love the way you write dialogue.

Narancia: We DO love gay dads xD! She seems sort of like an obnoxious rich kid but like in the best way possible! I am so excited to see more from her.

Algeron: OH! he is so so so BABY! I love him though. "That bitch Narancia" had me dead!

Overall: Very good chapter, I enjoyed the two of them. Only thing is, I would put their ages down because idk how old these kiddos are. I'm really enjoying your writing so far tho and I can't wait to see what you do with my Merlot

I'm so conflicted about Arelio, because there are parts of him that I really liked and then parts of him that really weren't my fave too. I think that his Hispanic heritage rounds him out really nicely, and the little bits of Spanish here and there are a fun change in pace from a lot of the other characters. I also really like how he cares about justice and equality. But then he comes off as such a hot headdddddd gosh, I know I'm a broken record, but why we gotta have so many pessimistic characters? Lmao. I'm not even an optimist myself, I don't know why I yearn for the happy go lucky tributes but I doooooo. I'm lowkey in love with Dixon, sue me. I want that kissy kissy and Arelio won't stop pitching a fit. Very rude, do not appreciate that.

Like: Narancia (D8F), Algernon(D8M), Loc (D6F), Serenity (D9F)
Neutral: Deimos (D11M), Arelio (D10M)
Dislike: Roman (D6M), Petal (D11F)

Serenity took her name, and was like, you know what? I ain't gonna be anything like that. She's clearly got a few things about her already that scream that she could do pretty decently in the games - being sly and lithe is a great quality to have. As well as the lack of morals from a girl that steals money from her daddy's wallet, that'll help her out if it intensifies. SMELL YA LATER - who does this girl think she is, a Pokemon rival? Lmao. I hate her. But, like, at the same time I kind of adore her. She just straight up doesn't give a shit about anything around her. She's gambling, talking to old drunkies, just doing whatever the heck she wants. I want to hate her, but she came out here all memorable and I just can't find it within myself.

Like: Narancia (D8F), Algernon(D8M), Loc (D6F), Serenity (D9F)
Neutral: Deimos (D11M)
Dislike: Roman (D6M), Petal (D11F)

Petal seems like a hardworking girl. Sometimes I feel like people slap the 'orphan' title on characters just as a way to give them more tragedy instead of investing that time into making it actually mean something for the character, which I see hints of from Petal. I kind of like the idea of her wanting to volunteer - rashness and impulsivity is one of my favorite negative traits for a character to have. I do, however, think it's created an interesting little bit of rage from within her, but I also just don't vibe super well with the anger-driven tributes. Maybe she'll grow on me.

I was just thinking to myself the other day that I didn't see enough twin relationships in the Hunger Games and how much I would enjoy that dynamic and then Deimos comes out here with his cute little twinship. I think he's pretty cool - we stan a protective brother, it's a timeless trope in my eyes. Deimos didn't say a lot to me other than that, though, so he'll probably be my first neutral. I thought most of the characters around him were bigger personalities than Deimos himself, so he doesn't quite stand out to me quite yet.

Like: Narancia (D8F), Algernon(D8M), Loc (D6F)
Neutral: Deimos (D11M)
Dislike: Roman (D6M), Petal (D11F)