Bro i cant stop using DIOS voice for yith and are you sure this aint dude aint DIO?

Thank you for your hard work!

Wow, it's great Hiogen!

I'm kidding, but moving on to my main comment- I think your story so far is great!

Your introduction is one of the more creative ones as you created a good backstory for William's death and overall entrance into Arknights.

The only real issue that I've managed to spot so far is the way you structure some of your sentences.

It's NOT wrong by any means, but to native english speakers, some sentences might seem a bit awkward or incomplete.

For example:

"So not only I died because of him, but I can't remember my mother by that too?"

In this sentence you did nothing wrong, but because it's structure, it doesn't flow well.

A better way to say this would be-

"So he didn't just kill me, but made me lose memories of my mother too?"

The reason behind this would be that your sentence used a couple of extra words when it could have been more to the point.

A simple example would be- "Jack bought apples by the fruits, but could not find tomatoes because it was not there."

While this is not wrong, who would want to say something longer than it has to be?

So instead- "Jack bought apples by the fruits, but could not find tomatoes there."

Then after this, the only other minor issue you have is that you could sometimes connect the smaller sentences together with a comma.

Example:

"Come on. Here is where we separate."

Instead you could write-

"Come on, here is where we separate."

And that it for all the problems I could find.

I'm really sorry if I sounded rude or disrespectful! If my comment seemed if I was wrong anywhere than feel free to think so!

I know for a fact that in this chapter you did not have any huge grammatical problems for someone who doesn't have english as their first language. My comments were only about minor issues that can be easily fix as you learn more about English and speak it.

I really look forward to what you do, so I hope that you can be one of the first people to write a long Arknights story!

Great chapter as always pal hope you continue this fanfic and improve on your writing skills
Hopefully thou that this wont make me cry in the long run i hate crying because im pretty sure the arknights lore is pretty depressing :(
But anyway hope you dont run out of motivation and inspiration your reader
Elpis Bringer of Hope

I hope you incorporate the lore before the events of Chernobog, like Kazdel Civil War and Babel, and the interactions between other future operators.

This is pretty nice.

hey, its me Again, thanks for the new chapter, and as always is a good chapter..

So let's talk about it,
1. Just a suggestion I think that you could explained the sector that the MC lived a little bit more, for the world building. She lived in sector 16 right? for example in lungmen there's a "sector" called slums, where the infected is staying. So i just wondering, did sector 16 in here is for the infected? or for example is some kind of economic sector where many business is there? what kind of people lived in sector 16? did they mostly workers, immigrants, or perhaps noble? things like that. And im wondering did the Infected got discrimination in there?
2. Oooh so mischa have the time arts. Just a heads up, be careful when using "time manipulation" as a power, cause it can be a little bit OP. for example, if an enemy fire a weapon, you can freeze the time, take the gun, and boom, the MC will always win.
3. Still connected to point 2, im wondering how the mischa will interact with her power, considering she still remembers that in game only Mostima wield that power.
4. tbh I love when you start this not in the exact years as the game starts. But be careful, if mischa alters the history so much, then the story would be different. For example, If she killed talulah first then the reunion won't attack, and thus no arknights game lol
5. Oooh mischa mom is hiding something xD kinda curious how a victorian (mischa dad) married with an ursus
6. Lastly, a question, what race is mischa?

Keep up the good work, I'll always waiting. You've done great so far, and i love it

Ok look, good story, I love it, just please for the sake of some of us, capitalize your "I". It's a pet peeve for me and some of the readers(probably). Aside from that good story, hope you keep writing it.

You did a good job on the Chapter, thank you. The first thing I would note is the length of the text. It's pretty decent and I like it. Secondly, the description of the first minutes of life and subsequent development were quite systematic and did not rush events jumping from one to another. I do not know how long you will describe the stages of growing up, but I want to say that you are doing well. Keep up the good work! I don't know what you have in store for us further in the story, but the promise of the main character at the end of the Chapter was quite bold. But life is never stable. Oh, no, not in the world where he lives now. D wait continuation of! P. S (wasn That like still add that moment when he said their first mother and father was enough cute, thank you you for this smile, that emerged I have in moment reading).

Hmm..
What year is it..
What generation he is in..

I kinda like the premise and want to see more.

But I think you should re-read your story a couple of time. After your finished writing that day, do read your story in the following day to consider your yesterday work and make sure you take your time reading it.

Do you think is it good enough t?

If its not, try to fix/change it.

If its does, do upload and see how the reader think of it.

Well, that's all for my suggestion to another fellow new writer. I usually do this routine and pardon for my bad english, I am not a native...

Dude only a handful makes an arknight fanfic and some arent really that good so color me surprised when i found yours and as always i hope creativiry drive and inspiration smile upon you
I and many others look foward to the next chapter

Ma man you are a god damn hero

I kinda like the premise and want to see more.

But I think you should re-read your story a couple of time. After your finished writing that day, do read your story in the following day to consider your yesterday work and make sure you take your time reading it.

Do you think is it good enough t?

If its not, try to fix/change it.

If its does, do upload and see how the reader think of it.

Well, that's all for my suggestion to another fellow new writer. I usually do this routine and pardon for my bad english, I am not a native.

so the story is typical isekai story prologue, you know, God made an accident, you died, and he make things up by sending you to another world. Personally, im not really into those opening, but still, a good prologue.
I also like that instead of God, you went with Time, and also love how the MC interacted with Time. But i think you should consider being in MCs place, i mean you died, no memories, nothing, ofc there're a lot of emotion inside you, angry, sad, dissapointed, i think just feeling annoyed not really expressed all of it.

It's a good start, and honestly i want to see more, i like to see how you create the story, I want to see how your MC will fit in Arknights world, especially since he have memories from his past life, and how he will interact with other operator (remember in Arknight worlds, doctor is known to be a "player" a cold person that doesnt even care about anything other than winning, he saw this world as a chess board, everyone else beside him is just a piece)

Just like in paragraph 2, i hope that you still using Arknights lore as your basis for the character, etc. For example, we know that amiya is attached to doctor, and etc. Me myself is really familiar with the lore, so if you need a help, feel free to ask..

About the language don't worry, I'm not a native english speaker as well xD
Keep up the good work

Thank you for your work. This was a rather original beginning, and I was already wondering what the next Chapter would hold. And don't worry about the audience. I can't speak for everyone, but arknights fan fiction is still quite small, and the reader community is not so jaded that it would give aggressive criticism without a good reason. I will wait for the continuation as long as necessary. I hope that in the end your work will become another jewel in my collection. But let's not think too far into the future, good luck to you.